The Virtual Nun

Yes we can

2008-11-07T09:51:00.006-06:00

Yes we can…

Anyone who has ever read any of the words I have posted here on behalf of our order knows how strongly I am against George W. Bush and his policies. They got the country into both war and massive debt. Am I Democratic? Yes, you bet I am. But that is not why I am delighted at the election of Barack Obama as president of the United States.

Down through the decades the words of Dr. Martin Luther King of echoed through my mind and across the nation…

…I have a dream

This week part of that dream was realized.

Beyond that we have a president elect who has sought to bring Americans together and move America as a country past racism. Has it happened? Not yet? Will it? I hope so…but just like the old joke about a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean “It’s a good start.”

Sadly I have already read words by someone I will not dignify by putting their name to the words:

“Obama's post-racial promise Barack Obama seduced whites with a vision of their racial innocence precisely to coerce them into acting out of a racial motivation.”

Its almost as if the individual concerned is upset that our president elect wants to move the nation past racism. As an individual I have been subject to a lifetime of hatred. As someone who is a nun and was born inter-gendered it continues – daily. When I see a president who is determined to a difference is such a way it moves me to the depths of my soul. I am glad to have lived to see this day.

But will Obama be able to deliver on campaign promises?

Not since Franklin Delano Roosevelt has a president elect inherited such massive problems as Obama has been left to face. It is as if the man was been faced with a broken nuclear reactor, handed a pair of tweezers and told “fix it.” Already there have been republic politicians in the news complaining about a Democratic Congress and a Democratic presidency touting to the news cameras “the last time the Democrats controlled the Congress and the Presidency they choked on the responsibility.”

What in the hell does that even mean?

Does it mean that there are Congressmen and Congresswomen who would rather see our nation in the pits of a greats depression just to see Barack Obama fail as a president? If so my response is, time to give up your seats in the house and senate to someone who will aid the nation in a bipartisan manor.

Will Obama succeed? Will he lead America out of a financial crisis? Will he bring an end to the war? No one knows for sure, no matter how much politicians with bile in their mouths and anger in their hearts my think they do…

…but I hope he will.

Julie Whitefeather

What's love got to do with it

2008-09-26T13:23:00.002-05:00

What's love got to do with it?
By Julie Whitefeather

“I come here for a breath of fresh air now and then. I do appreciate your blog. I am single—and am very frustrated in my search to love someone. When I look at couples around me—straight or gay—I silently thank my creator that love exists. It is such a blessing. How anyone could hate someone for loving? Thank you for having the courage to encourage love.” – Jo Ann

What’s love got to do with it?

It is often said that “The prophets longed for these times.” What that means, is the common thought that we are living in the last days. Whether we are, or are not, who can say? I often kid with Mother Superior that my retirement plan is the second coming.

Still, people have been talking about the imminent return of Christ since the Ascension.

Now you might ask yourself what any of this has to do with love. The answer, however, is simple. Whether or not these are the end times there are definitely signs of the times in which we live. One of the saddest aspects of those times is that life and love are cheap commodities. The grim aspect of war is not a new advent in the history of mankind. It has been going on throughout all of recorded history. Still, life has never been considered so cheap and expendable as now. We live in an era of push button war fare, where humans are killed at the push of a button. It’s amazing, really, at how efficient human beings have become at killing themselves.

Yet while we are growing ever more efficient at death we seem to have a growing difficulty with love. There is a line from an old Beatles song that says “money can’t buy me love” but that doesn’t stop anyone from trying. When love, whether of a sister, or a sweetheart, should be a bastion of hope, rarely is this the case. It is not surprising that this is the case either. When people aren’t busy placing money over family, the same individuals are often busy entrenched in the ludicrous notion that other human beings need their approval. Instead of the notion that “it is not enough that I succeed, all others must fail” this is often supplanted with “it is not enough that I hate, others must hate, including themselves.”

Perhaps, in the end, one of the reason human beings have become so efficient at killing each other is that they have such a difficult time of loving one another. Yet if this is a sign of the times, there is also another sign of the times.

That sign is that there are still people in the world who are willing to stand up for what is right. There are still people in the world who are willing to love instead of hate. Who are willing to fulfill Christ’s greatest commandment “love one another as I have loved you” and do so without adding on provisionary statements.

One of the signs of the times is that there are still people with the courage to encourage love.

Go with God,

Julie Whitefeather

Don't ask...

2008-09-02T13:44:00.001-05:00

Don’t ask…

One of the founding principles of the Sisters of Embracement is just that – embracement. In fact Mother Superior drives me to work in the mornings and we were talking about just that. We (as in the Sisters of Embracement we, not the royal we) are not talking about tolerance. Anyone can tolerate someone else, given a strong enough willpower. We are talking about embracement of other people, and their paths to God. We are talking about Christians who follow God’s greatest (and in many ways most difficult) commandment from the New Testament “love on another as I have loved you.” Now it may seem obvious here but I would note he didn’t add “unless you don’t happen to agree with who they are.” This is not to say there is not such a thing as righteous indignation. As a priest named Father Fratus once pointed out to me “Even Christ drove the money lenders out of the temple and overturned the tables.”

That being said, you would probably be surprised at the amount of hate mail that just the paragraph above generates. It is not enough for the world’s major religions to preach intolerance of any path to God but their own; it often seems that their members feel it necessary to turn others to their way of thinking.

More than once I have been called a heretic, which isn’t that bad when you consider that one of the same people told us that, also told us they considered Mother Teresa of Calcutta a heretic as well. All I can say is “I am not worthy”…that is some marvelous company to be in.

So if you read any of the essays here and feel that it is necessary to try and get me to hate another human being or somehow feel that God doesn’t love them because you cannot accept them or their path to God…

…please don’t ask. Don’t try and twist the words of whatever Holy Book or path to God you follow into some labyrinthine maze of ill-logic to try and convince me to hate another human being or refuse to accept their path to God. As grandmother used to say, “you may as well save your breath to cool your porridge” – the second any comment begins to turn to the above twisted logic it is deleted unread.

There are many paths up the mountain, but they all lead to the summit…find yours. Let others find theirs.

Sister Julie

The unwanted prayer

2008-07-01T16:39:00.002-05:00

Anyone who has followed my writing knows that I am writing four columns, editing a book, and writing another. This is on top of working fourty hours a week, doing elder care 24/7 and working on starting a podcast. This doesn't leave alot of time to stop by this little blog site these days. But when someone recently posted a comment to an old "in the news" I wrote I was sure it had to be responded to. The article I wrote was about a man and his extended family who were making it a point to "picket" the funeral of veterans with signs that says "God Hates you"; and this because the people doing the picketing are certain that God hates people who are gay and lesbian. Here is the comment that was posted:

"Praise God you do not keep up with your blasphemous blog. You are in my prayers."

Well the interesting thing, as anyone knows me has heard, if someone uses scriptures from the Christian Bible such as Leviticus 18:22 to justify a God of love hating anyone, let alone someone who is gay or lesbian, that same person needs to turn over to Leviticus 25:44-46:

"If you need slaves, you may buy them from the nations around you. You may also buy the children of foreigners who are living among you. Such children born in your land may become your property, and you mayleave them as an inheritance to your children whom they must server as long as they live" - Leviticus 25:44-46.

So pardon me while I go out and buy a few immigrants...by the way, just how many Canadians CAN I own?

Sound stupid doesn't it? Want to know what IS blasphemous my friends? THIS CRAP THAT SPEWS FORTH FROM BIGOTS CLAIMING THAT GOD HATES GAYS AND LESBIANS. When Christ gave everyone a new commandment in the New Testament, it was to love one another as we love Him - no exceptions, no qualifications, no privisos. This is fortunate for the bigots out there, for God loves them as well.

So if refusing to hate someone for who they love is blasphemous, then count me amoungst the blasphemers.

Julie

In the news...

2007-11-13T12:35:00.000-06:00

Veterans Day…

We just celebrated Veterans Day in the U.S.A. – but not everyone celebrates Veterans day the same way. How do the members of the “Topeka based Westboro Baptist church” honor veterans? As you can see by the photograph, by going to military funerals and holding up signs saying “You’re going to hell” and “God hates you” Which God is this I wonder? By which name? Certainly not the God that goes by the name God, Allah, and Yahweh. Here is a quote from an associated press article in USA Today:

“The church routinely pickets military funerals with signs reading "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags," saying God is punishing America for its immoral ways.” - $11M Verdict in funeral protesters case, USA Today (source: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-10-31-funeralprotesters_N.htm)photo credit: Associated Press

While these people who have somehow deluded themselves into thinking they are the voice of God are busy shoving Leviticus 18:22 in peoples faces to justify hatred of Gays tell them to flip over to Leviticus 25: 44-46 and tell me how many Canadians I can own. At least now they have 11 million reasons to reconsider their bigotry. No matter what you may or may not think of a particular war and its reasons, the simple fact of the matter is that the young man who was buried at the funeral in case died for his country and his beliefs.

Prayer in school?

Forget even the most remote possibility of prayer in school, and now even hugs are right out. An associated press article entitled “Girl Serves Detentions for Hugs” reported the following:

“Two hugs equals two days of detentions for 13-year-old Megan Coulter. The eight-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friend Friday.”

Thank Heavens that school districts in this country haven’t stopped at ending prayer in schools but are continuing to quash rebellion by ending hugging.

The Vatican working hard to protect us all…

So while you are all waiting for the Vatican to work out exactly how many Canadians we can own in the USA they are busy protecting us from the villainies of gay men and lesbian women…no…really. Stop that laughing. Here is a quote from an associated press article entitled “Priest only pretending to be gay”…(source: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/10/14/gay.monsignor.ap/)

“A Vatican official suspended after being caught on hidden camera making advances to a young man said in an interview published Sunday that he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work. In an interview with La Repubblica newspaper, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico said he frequented online gay chat rooms and met with gay men as part of his work as a psychoanalyst.

He said that he pretended to be gay in order to gather information about "those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity."

Vatican teaching holds that homosexual activity is a sin.

‘It's all false; it was a trap. I was a victim of my own attempts to contribute to cleaning up the Church with my psychoanalyst work,’ La Repubblica quoted Stenico as saying.”

As for me, one nun in the U.S.A, I will continue in my delusional beliefs that God loves everyone no matter who it is. That when God, in the person of Jesus Christ “love one another as I have loved you” he meant no exceptions…even bigots who protest at military funerals or priests who pretend to be gay to protect us.

Troubling Times

2007-10-29T10:46:00.000-05:00

I received the following comment to the post “Pope Benedict has turned his back on God.” I am copying it here for the sole reason of modifying one of the explicatives – not that I have never sworn in my life. The modification was more out of respect for any readers. Here is what Jenn McWhorter had to say:

“This is, in part, why I left the Roman Catholic Church and went to the Reformed Catholic Church, which, in addition, not being full of ***hats like Ratzinger, accepts all people, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, etc.” – Jenn McWhorter

This is an issue, as you can imagine that is a painful one for me. Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict, was John Paul’s the choice for pope. More is the pity now that he is in the process of undoing some of the good works that John Paul did. This is not to say that Pope John Paul was perfect. There were issues with his period as pope as well.

All in all, what is most troubling is to see an era when many faiths move toward a lack of acceptance of other paths to God.

Truly Troubling times,

Sister Julie

Why is it a bad thing?

2007-10-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

I recently received the following comment to this blog:

"What the Pope has done is to let the world to know that the Catholic Church is the ONE TRUE Church, founded by Christ. He desires for all souls to come to Christ's Church. How can that be a bad thing?"

The Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta put it this way:

"There is only one God, and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30 families are Catholic and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs - all different religions. But they all come to our prayers."

"There are so many religions and each one has it's different ways of following God."

- Blessed Mother Theresa

Christ is Jewish. If you therefore believe that Christ and God are one then God is Jewish. Don’t think so? Arch Bishop Fulton Sheen put it this way. Christ said no man comes to the Father but through the Son. Therefore if we believe in God at all we implicitly believe in Christ whether we acknowledge it or not.

“Therefore all men are implicitly Christian” – ArchBishop Fulton Sheen.

The apostles are Jewish. The Mary the Mother of God is Jewish In fact one of the debates between St. Paul and many of the other apostles was that they though you first had to be Jewish in order to be Christian. The Pope has told all Jews that they are wrong. Their religion is wrong. He has told all Christians that do not follow his way that THEY are wrong. He is condemned all Muslims as evil. What he has done is spread hatred and derision. He has taught people that the ONLY path to God is Catholicism and THAT is wrong.

Pope Benedict has turned his back on God

2007-09-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

Again, my apologies for not keeping this site up to date - it had become my impression the no one still read this blog. Recently, I received an email from someone who has read one of my columns. She told me that she HAD read this site. Perhaps another reason I had been reticent in writing on this blog was because of what was to be the next, and perhaps saddest entry. The day has come that I thought would never come in the Catholic Church. The day has finally come that Pope Benedict has turned his back on God.

Why would I say this? Let me start out with a quote by the Blessed Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

"There is only one God, and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30 families are Catholic and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs - all different religions. But they all come to our prayers." – Blessed Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

Pope Benedict started out, before he was pope by telling the world he though all Jews had to convert to Christianity in order to be saved. It didn’t matter to him that the apostles were all Jews. It didn’t matter to him that Christ was a Jew. It didn’t matter to him that Mary the Mother of God was a Jew.

He followed this up with a pronouncement that Islam was “evil and inhuman”. During the week of September 14, 2006 he delivered a speech at a German University. The following is a quote from an article about the speech.

“The emperors words were, he said: ‘Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.’” - Pope Benedict quoted in an article from BBC news, found at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/5346480.stm

In what is perhaps the saddest event since the foundation of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict has denounced all other faiths but Catholicism as being false. Here is a quote from an associated press article (found at http://www.boston.com/news/world/europe/articles/2007/07/10/pope_other_christians_not_true_churches/?page=2):

“LORENZAGO DI CADORE, Italy --Pope Benedict XVI reasserted the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says other Christian communities are either defective or not true churches and Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation.” - By Nicole Winfield, Associated Press Writer, July 10, 2007

Can it get worse? Yes it can. Read on – another quote from the same article.

“The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which Benedict headed before becoming pope, said it was issuing the new document Tuesday because some contemporary theological interpretations of Vatican II's ecumenical intent had been "erroneous or ambiguous" and had prompted confusion and doubt.

The new document -- formulated as five questions and answers -- restates key sections of a 2000 text the pope wrote when he was prefect of the congregation, "Dominus Iesus," which riled Protestant and other Christian denominations because it said they were not true churches but merely ecclesial communities and therefore did not have the "means of salvation."

The commentary repeated church teaching that says the Catholic Church "has the fullness of the means of salvation."

"Christ 'established here on earth' only one church," said the document released as the pope vacations at a villa in Lorenzago di Cadore, in Italy's Dolomite mountains.

The other communities "cannot be called 'churches' in the proper sense" because they do not have apostolic succession -- the ability to trace their bishops back to Christ's original apostles -- and therefore their priestly ordinations are not valid, it said.” - By Nicole Winfield, Associated Press Writer, July 10, 2007

A recent article in the Chicago Tribune by Robert McClory entitled “Pope’s latest moves setting church apart” discussed these events surrounding “restoring” the Latin Mass. The article ended with these words:

“If it is the pope’s intention to create a small and obedient church of the elect, that is what he may get before this train is fully unloaded.” – Robert McClory

How true. The pope has denounced Judaism, Islam and all other Faiths. He has denounced all other Christians who are not Catholic.

What the pope has done is turn his back on God.

Digging himself in deeper

2007-07-11T08:56:00.000-05:00

Well my friends, I have been offered another column so now I write two columns as well as work forty hours a week to help support the convent...busy times for me.

But on to the news.

First let me state that before I am anything else I am a Christian and I am a nun. I am not a protestant Christian, and I am not a Catholic Christian. I AM JUST A CHRISTIAN.

However, the associated press released an article today, which the local paper entitled "Pope's statement again riles Proestants." Well my friends, not just protestants, but this nun has her dander up as well. First let me quote the first paragraph of the article.

LORENZADO DI CADORE, Italy - Pope Benedict XVI reasserted the primacy of the Roman Cathoic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says other Christian communities are either defective or not true churches and Caholicism provides the only true path to salvation.

My friends, I am not sure who Pope Benedict XVI speaks for, but he has long since stopped speaking for, and more than likely with, God. Benedict has voiced his hatred for Jews and Muslims in the international press and now all of Christianity that doesn't follow his path to God. He is determined to pull down any hope of unity among faiths and spread as much discord as he possibly can.

Whether it appeals to Benedict or not, the Jewish faith, the Christian faith, and the Musim faith all have the same progenitor and ALL worship the same God - whether it appeals to Benedict or not. There is no cathoic heaven, no protestant heaven, and no muslim heaven. THERE IS ONLY HEAVEN. It is ironic that one of the prayers said at ever cathoic mass includes "I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic faith..." When I was a novice I spoke to a monk named "Brother Fred" about this. He told me that by "catholic" it means "universal". How ironic that a church that a pope that purports to believe in a "universal church' does everything to ensure that there isn't one. Instead he seems to spend his time sewing seeds of hatred and discord amongst all of the world's faiths. His move of isolationism has made him the embodiment of the old joke, which I have shared with you before.

"When you die and go to Heaven, Saint Peter will show you around. He will pass a locked door and point to it saying, 'Don't bother him, thats the former Pope Benedict XVI. He thinks he's alone up here.'"

Yes, before anyone asks, I still consider myself Catholic. I just wish that Benedict XVI was not.

You have to be taught how to hate

2007-06-28T10:25:00.000-05:00

“You have to be taught how to hate by 6, or 7 or 8.” This is more than just a line from the musical “South Pacific” it is the rock solid truth. Today my work day started as the target of bigotry. On the way in to work I held the elevator for a few co-workers but one would not get on – he refuses to ride the elevator with me. Yet no one ever considers themselves a bigot, even when they are. Fewer still even consider the source of the bigotry.

Our order does elder care – round the clock 24/7. In particular we care for a woman who was born 85 years ago this month, and raised in the deep south. She hates policemen. You have but to ask her and she will tell you. It is also readily apparent when we take her anywhere. One day I asked mother superior why. It turns out that where and when she was raised policemen used to steal – and then find a young black man who couldn’t afford to defend himself and arrest him for the crime. Result? Young black men spent months and sometimes years in jail for crimes they never commited.

Now you may tell yourself, after you have done the math, that this has to be at least 70 years ago. Why then does she still hold such opinions today? Is it simply a grudge that has been held for 70 years? Perhaps that is part of it. More to the point, however, are people who reinforce the image. An example in this case is the Chicago Police officer who was arrested a number of years back for being a major drug lord in Chicago’s Humbolt Park area.

But incidents that encourage bigotry are not always so blatent. Just like not all policemen are bad, the reverse is sometimes held to be true. I had a co-worker who thought that bigots didn’t come in colors. I told her a story once. I told her how the man who used to be a chief legal counsel where I work took it upon himself one day to distribute an abstract of a law suit to every supervisor where I work. What was it about?

First, the individual concerned thought it applied to me, where it does not. Many of my co-workers have no idea what a hermaphrodite is. The abstract was about a pilot for TWA who was fired for having a sex change – no other reason. The judge in this case originally ruled that the equal employment opportunity act did not apply to this individual as a result. Now think about this for a moment. Why did this man distribute this abstract? He was trying to get every supervisor to believe that I was not protected by the equal employment opportunity act. The co-worker I told this to had a hard time believe it. She said, “He would never do that. He would understand about bigotry. He is a black man and has been treated that way himself.” My reply was simple. “Don’t you think that bigots come in colors?” The rest of the story, as a popular broadcaster used to say is this: The chief legal counsel left (to be a judge God help us all). What he did not know are sever aspects that applied here. The case was overturned on appeal and the pilot won so much money she founded an avionics firm with it. Me? Well simply put, my birth certificate says female on it thank you very much. My reply? I spoke to my State Senator about the issue, who in turn wrote to our office and spoke to them about it. No such issue ever arose again.

Now on the face of it, this might encourage me to hate people who are black, but it does not. Still the conduct of individuals on a daily basis encourages bigotry. Sometimes they are simple things – like the man who refused to ride an elevator with me (as he always does). Other examples? Individuals who refuse to speak to me because of who I am. Still others who refuse to speak to me UNLESS THEY NEED SOMETHING (and even then they usually send me email to spare them having to actually address me in person). People who are talking to others, laughing and talking – and then the smile runs away from their face as I pass by. Oh yes, I have spent a lifetime of watching smiles run away from faces.

In the end, people have to be taught how to hate, fortunately some people either refuse to learn the lesson or unlearn it later in life. But the bigotry is not always taught by parents. Sometimes it is both taught and reinforced by people in the world around us – people who sometimes think they are doing nothing wrong at all.

God be with you,

Sister Julie

The Faces of Protest - then and now

2007-05-31T18:18:00.000-05:00

photo credit above left: AP Photo/Lauren Victoria Burke)

These are the faces of protest – war protest. On the left, a recent associated press photograph of Cindy Sheehan at a press conference. On the right, a now famous photograph of shooting at a Kent State protest of the Viet Nam War. The faces are decades apart, but the cause is the same. They protested wars that were started by evil men. Like the old adage about history, it seems that human beings are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over, and over again, endlessly.

Remember Ms. Sheehan? I certainly do. This is the woman who protested the War in Iraq “outside the president’s Texas ranch” for 26 days in August 2005 – a protest that eventually reached 300 people. But to say it was “outside the presidents home” is misleading. They were not allowed to get closer than one mile away from George W’s home. On February 2006 she was arrested for having the audacity to wear a T-shirt in the galley of the U.S. House of Representatives that read “2,245 Dead. How many more?" at the George W’s State of the Union address. The House rules, it seems, disallows protests in the gallery. We wouldn’t want the president reminded of the some of the deaths he was busy telling us what a great job he was doing now would we?

The Viet Nam war ended with the withdrawal of the troops by Richard “peace with honor” Nixon – but only after America was forced out of Viet Nam. What will it take to get America out of the War that the president started this time?

In the mean time, Ms. Sheehan has ended her efforts at ending the war. I can understand why. As Ms. Sheehan herself put it:

“I have been wondering why I’m killing myself and wondering why the Democrats caved in to George Bush.” – Cindy Sheehan.

She said it best, perhaps, in what she called a “resignation letter” in her online diary:

“Good-bye American…you are not the country that I love and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can’t make you that country unless you want it. It’s up to you now.” – Cindy Sheehan.

Sadder still, is the fact that no matter how much Americans my want the war to stop. No matter how many Americans DEMAND it. It is not up to just us. That is because we have leaders that are no longer have a government “by the people, for the people, and of the people” as Abraham Lincoln once put it. We have a government by a handful of powerful people who represent their own interests only. Those people are known by the initials G.O.P. I hope, I pray, that there is a way to remove the troops sooner than an anticipated removal of Republican Politicians in 2008.

Another Face of the War

2007-05-31T17:08:00.000-05:00

It is a group that no mother wants to be qualified to join – American Gold Star Mothers.

No mother should have to bury their child.

But there are times when they do.

Who are gold star mothers? The best way to explain is with a quote from the history on their website located at: http://www.goldstarmoms.com/agsm/WhoWeAre/History/

“Often the question has been asked, “Who is a Gold Star Mother?” During the early days of World War I, a Blue Star was used to represent each person, man or woman in the Military Service of the United States. As the war progressed and men were killed in combat, others wounded and died of their wounds or disease, there came about the accepted usage of the Gold Star.” – American Gold Star Mothers

First let me put a face to a name. This is the woman who founded this group, Grace Darling Siebold:

Who is this woman? What caused her to found this group? Again, I will let the American Gold Star Mothers themselves explain:

“When the United States entered World War I in 1917, George Vaughn Seibold, 23, volunteered, requesting assignment in aviation. He was sent to Canada where he learned to fly British planes since the United States had neither an air force nor planes. Deployed to England, he was assigned to the British Royal Flying Corps, 148th Aero Squadron. With his squadron, he left for combat duty in France. He corresponded with his family regularly. His mother, Grace Darling Seibold, began to do community service by visiting returning servicemen in the hospitals.

The mail from George stopped. Since all aviators were under British control and authority, the United States could not help the Seibold family with any information about their son.

Christmas Eve, 1918, the postman delivered a package to the Washington, DC residence of George and Grace Seibold. The package was marked, "Effects of Deceased Officer, First Lieutenant George Vaughn Seibold, Attached to the 148th Squadron, BRFC." No other information was provided.
After months of inquiry, the family received official notice. "George was killed in aerial combat during the heaviest fighting over Baupaume, France, August 26, 1918." His body was never recovered.

Grace, realizing that self-contained grief is self-destructive, devoted her time and efforts to not only working in the hospital but extending the hand of friendship to other mothers whose sons had lost their lives in military service.” – American Gold Star Mothers

Sadly, there are many new faces who are eligible for membership in this group – the war in Iraq has changed all that.

“Its ranks [American Gold Star Mothers] dwindled substantially, threatening its survival, as members grew older and died. But the Iraq War and the war in Afghanistan are making thousands of women eligible for membership.” – Susan Sarkauskas, Daily Herald for May 28, 2007, “War-torn Mothers”

This is the face of the war that is closer to home. These aren’t civilians in countries that are a half a world away. These are the children of parents in our communities. This is another face of the war that George W. Bush started. This is a face of the war that it is important for everyone to see. It is the face of young men and women who died too soon – some of them, missing in action, will never come home..

Win one for the "Gipper"

2007-05-28T09:18:00.001-05:00

Win one for the “Gipper”…er…Cheney

Following on the footsteps of George W. who just addressed the graduating class of the United States Coast Guard, Dick Cheney addressed the graduating class at West Point. Perhaps the thought is to “get them while their young” - it seems to work.

When the facts don’t fit, Dick doesn’t seem to mind trying the old trick of pounding a square peg in a round whole and MAKE them fit. Like George W., if Dick can’t find a smoking gun anywhere, he will put one in someone else’s hand. In an obvious denial of reality he delivered the following quote in this speech to West Point graduates:

“We’re fighting a war over there because the enemy attacked us first. These are men who glorify murder and suicide. Terrorists are defined entirely by their hatreds.” - Dick Cheney

Dick is forgetting the small factor that I mention in yesterday's column - namely Iraq DIDN’T attack us first - before we attacked THEM FIRST they had never killed a single American civilian.

(source: Stephen Zunes, "An Annotated Overview of the Foreign Policy Segments of President George W. Bush’s State of the Union Address," Foreign Policy In Focus, January 29, 2003. Segments of President George W. Bush’s State of the Union Address," Foreign Policy In Focus, January 29, 2003 which can be found at http://www.michaelmoore.com/warroom/f911notes/)

Joining George W. and his increasingly popular tactic of trying to scare the American public in to an act of contrition for having had the audacity for wanting the death stopped, Dick gave his own version of “win one for the Gipper”…

“The security of this nation depends on the outcome.” - Dick Cheney

No doubt Dick was referring to one particular person, Osama Bin Laden, whose family are former business associates of ex-president George H.W. Bush. George W. and Dick seem wont to use Osama as some sort of a touch stone, probing whatever nation they are ready to destroy next.

George Bush's Bloodbath

2007-05-25T11:58:00.000-05:00

Photocredit: J. SCOTT APPLEWHITE / AP

George W. has his war chest – with no deadline for troop withdrawal mandated. There appears to be no end to the war in sight. In fact he told the American Public today to expect it to get worse. The war has been financed through September of this year (2007). Now George W. has warned the American public to expect a “bloody” August.
What has George W. got in mind for your August? Here is an example below:

This dead baby and more than 600,000 civilian dead others brought to you courtesy of President George W. Bush
Photocredit: www.robert-fisk.com

“BAGHDAD, Oct. 10 [2006] — A team of American and Iraqi public health researchers has estimated that 600,000 civilians have died in violence across Iraq since the 2003 American invasion, the highest estimate ever for the toll of the war here.” – The New York Times

Remember the old song “War” whose chorus goes like this?

War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh

War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again y'all

War! huh good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?

Lets add a new line:

War! huh good God
What is it good for?
Making the family of George W. Bush money – and a lot of it…

Whatever the motives of George W. was for starting the war in Iraq, and mind you he did start it – an unprovoked war on a country that had never killed a single American.

(source: Stephen Zunes, "An Annotated Overview of the Foreign Policy Segments of President George W. Bush’s State of the Union Address," Foreign Policy In Focus, January 29, 2003. Segments of President George W. Bush’s State of the Union Address," Foreign Policy In Focus, January 29, 2003 which can be found at http://www.michaelmoore.com/warroom/f911notes/)

Whether George W. thinks God told him to do it as the article cited in my column yesterday,"Bush: God told me to invade Iraq" by Rupert Cromwell, or whether it is simply unfinished business from the Gulf War the family of George W. Bush, namely his father stands to make a lot of money from it. Why? Here is why…

What corporation (in the year 2003) was the eleventh largest defense contractor in the United States? Say it, say it, say it again – yeah

The Carlyle Corporation

(source: “By virtue of its holdings in companies like U.S. Marine Repair and United Defense Industries, Carlyle is the equivalent of the eleventh-largest defense contractor in the nation. It has $16.2 billion under management and claims an average annual return of 35%.” Phyllis Berman, “Lucky Twice,” Forbes, December 8, 2003 http://www.michaelmoore.com/warroom/f911notes/)

What President of the United States has a father who was a Senior Advisor and is a stock holder in the Carlyle Corporation? Say it, say it, say it again – huh- yeah!

George W. Bush, whose father retired on 10/03 from the Carlyle Corporation, who is a stock holder.

(source: http://www.hereinreality.com/carlyle.html)
(source:” Even The Carlyle Group, that super-secret international defense private equity conglomerate so chock full of former world leaders (former US presidents George H W Bush and Bill Clinton and former British prime minister John Major) as current and former principals that it is sometimes seen more as a villain in a James Bond film than as an investment vehicle, is getting into the act. Carlyle recently eschewed its normal investments in death and destruction to buy out Philosophy, Inc, a purveyor of soaps, shampoos and other personal and skincare products.” – The highs and lows of buyouts By Julian Delasantellis , The Asia Times, February 22, 2007)

And what corporation that is a defense contractor for the United States once had as investors the very same family that George W. Bush now claims is his reason to continue his war with Iraq? Say it, say it, say it again –

The Carlyle Corporation

(source: "Following the attacks on September 11, the bin Laden family’s investments in the Carlyle Group became an embarrassment to the Carlyle Group and the family was forced to liquidate their assets with the firm." Kurt Eichenwald, “Bin Laden Family Liquidates Holdings with Carlyle Group,” The New York Times, October 26, 2001. http://www.michaelmoore.com/warroom/f911notes/)

This death and destruction has been brought to you by George W. Bush and his dear old dad…

Pay no attnetion to that man behind the curtain

2007-05-24T11:04:00.000-05:00

Photo above: Frank Morgan as the Wizard in “The Wizard of Oz” is revealed by Dorothy’s dog Toto as who he really is.

In a move reminiscent of the famous line from The Wizard of Oz – “Pay not attention to that man behind the curtain” – once again George W. is trying to misdirect our attention. Fortunately the particular curtain that George W,’s diatribe is hidden behind this time is 10 pages of newspaper. Thank goodness he isn’t front page news this time. There is perhaps a reason for this. The caption of George W. delivering a commencement speech to the U.S. Coast Guard academy reads as follows:

“Trying to rally support for an unpopular war, President Bush used declassified intelligence Wednesday to equate the U.S. led fight in Iraq with the broader battle against al-Qaida.”

It is not enough that the funding for his war – and make no mistake my friends, this is HIS war and no one else’s – is “in the bag” as they say. It appears as if George W. is not satisfied with winning, everyone else must loose. In this case the people who are losing are not just those who will die in Iraq, but all of humanity.

Here are some quotes, from the Associated Press, from George W.’s commencement speech…

“In the minds of al-Qaida leaders, 9/11 was just a down payment on violence yet to come.”

“It is tempting to believe that the calm here at home after 9/11 means that the danger to our country has passed.”

“Here is America, we are living in the eye of a storm. All around us, dangerous winds are swirling and these winds could reach our shores at any moment.”

Well my friends, the biggest wind of the moment seems to be coming from a blowhard president trying desperately to build up the failing support of the American public for his war. This is a president who has to hold disaster relief for Americans ransom to get his funding.

The first point is this. Even if George W. is correct, stepping up or even continuing the war will not weaken terrorism – it will exacerbate it. Back in graduate school I did my master’s thesis on the causes of terrorism. Terrorism, my friends, is a “war in the shadows” and I am not the first one to call it that (if you can find the original quote, feel free to chime in). You cannot blow up terrorism with tanks. You cannot root it out with missiles. And a war will not stop it. Tell me you want to spend more money on the United States Coast Guard, and keep them here at home? I am all for it. Tell me you want to put PROFESSIONALS in airport security in this country and I will back you 100%. But trying to literally “scare up” some support for his war is just pathetic. My only guess is that George W. wants to ensure that widows and mothers all over the world have more to mourn about this Memorial Day.

But the larger issue is not just this war, but ANY war. Remember back when George W. started the war? He told us all about prayer to God for guidance to got to war? Well an article published by “The Independent” by Rupert Cromwell (source: news.independent.co.uk) talks about just that:

“The revelation comes after Mr Bush launched an impassioned attack yesterday in Washington on Islamic militants, likening their ideology to that of Communism, and accusing them of seeking to "enslave whole nations" and set up a radical Islamic empire "that spans from Spain to Indonesia". In the programmeElusive Peace: Israel and the Arabs, which starts on Monday, the former Palestinian foreign minister Nabil Shaath says Mr Bush told him and Mahmoud Abbas, former prime minister and now Palestinian President: "I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, 'George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan.' And I did, and then God would tell me, 'George go and end the tyranny in Iraq,' and I did.’”

I am not sure what God George W. is praying to that tells him to start wars and go kill people, but it isn’t any God I know. But that does lead me to a larger point. Why would God allow this war? I am sure many have asked themselves just that. One the face of it, the short answer is simply “Free will”. God didn’t start the war, a man did – a man named George W. Bush. Some people have pointed out to me that God led the Israelites into war in the old testament. The Old Testament in the Bible is full of scenes of such as the Egyptian Armies being drown at the bottom of the Red Sea, and the people of Jericho being smashed under their own walls – all at the hand of God. I had this same discussion with mother superior this morning. We discussed what God, in the person of Jesus, said in the New Testament:

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” – Matthew 5:17

Many times I have discussed God’s new commandment – “love one another as I have loved you.” So God has not abolished the old testament. If you fulfill His new commandment to love one another as He loves us you will be in obedience with God’s will. But remember that Christ taught that it is important to obey the spirit of the law and not just the letter of the Law. When God has spoken to Mankind, he has done so in ways they can best understand. When Mother Mary spoke to St. Bernadette at Lourdes she did so in ways that she could understand – Bernadette had to memorize the words “immaculate conception.” Above all, one thing is important and that is this:

ONLY GOD HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE A LIFE – NO ONE ELSE

Today, my friends, I will leave you with a short story by none other than Mark Twain. It is called “The War Prayer” – read on .

The War Prayer
by Mark Twain

It was a time of great and exalting excitement. The country was up in arms, the war was on, in every breast burned the holy fire of patriotism; the drums were beating, the bands playing, the toy pistols popping, the bunched firecrackers hissing and spluttering; on every hand and far down the receding and fading spread of roofs and balconies a fluttering wilderness of flags flashed in the sun; daily the young volunteers marched down the wide avenue gay and fine in their new uniforms, the proud fathers and mothers and sisters and sweethearts cheering them with voices choked with happy emotion as they swung by; nightly the packed mass meetings listened, panting, to patriot oratory which stirred the deepest deeps of their hearts, and which they interrupted at briefest intervals with cyclones of applause, the tears running down their cheeks the while; in the churches the pastors preached devotion to flag and country, and invoked the God of Battles beseeching His aid in our good cause in outpourings of fervid eloquence which moved every listener. It was indeed a glad and gracious time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteousness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of sight and offended no more in that way.

Sunday morning came -- next day the battalions would leave for the front; the church was filled; the volunteers were there, their young faces alight with martial dreams -- visions of the stern advance, the gathering momentum, the rushing charge, the flashing sabers, the flight of the foe, the tumult, the enveloping smoke, the fierce pursuit, the surrender! Then home from the war, bronzed heroes, welcomed, adored, submerged in golden seas of glory! With the volunteers sat their dear ones, proud, happy, and envied by the neighbors and friends who had no sons and brothers to send forth to the field of honor, there to win for the flag, or, failing, die the noblest of noble deaths. The service proceeded; a war chapter from the Old Testament was read; the first prayer was said; it was followed by an organ burst that shook the building, and with one impulse the house rose, with glowing eyes and beating hearts, and poured out that tremendous invocation

*God the all-terrible! Thou who ordainest! Thunder thy clarion and lightning thy sword!*

Then came the "long" prayer. None could remember the like of it for passionate pleading and moving and beautiful language. The burden of its supplication was, that an ever-merciful and benignant Father of us all would watch over our noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort, and encourage them in their patriotic work; bless them, shield them in the day of battle and the hour of peril, bear them in His mighty hand, make them strong and confident, invincible in the bloody onset; help them to crush the foe, grant to them and to their flag and country imperishable honor and glory --

An aged stranger entered and moved with slow and noiseless step up the main aisle, his eyes fixed upon the minister, his long body clothed in a robe that reached to his feet, his head bare, his white hair descending in a frothy cataract to his shoulders, his seamy face unnaturally pale, pale even to ghastliness. With all eyes following him and wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he ascended to the preacher's side and stood there waiting. With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence, continued with his moving prayer, and at last finished it with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, "Bless our arms, grant us the victory, O Lord our God, Father and Protector of our land and flag!"

The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside -- which the startled minister did -- and took his place. During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then in a deep voice he said:

"I come from the Throne -- bearing a message from Almighty God!" The words smote the house with a shock; if the stranger perceived it he gave no attention. "He has heard the prayer of His servant your shepherd, and will grant it if such shall be your desire after I, His messenger, shall have explained to you its import -- that is to say, its full import. For it is like unto many of the prayers of men, in that it asks for more than he who utters it is aware of -- except he pause and think.
"God's servant and yours has prayed his prayer. Has he paused and taken thought? Is it one prayer? No, it is two -- one uttered, the other not. Both have reached the ear of Him Who heareth all supplications, the spoken and the unspoken. Ponder this -- keep it in mind. If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. If you pray for the blessing of rain upon your crop which needs it, by that act you are possibly praying for a curse upon some neighbor's crop which may not need rain and can be injured by it.

"You have heard your servant's prayer -- the uttered part of it. I am commissioned of God to put into words the other part of it -- that part which the pastor -- and also you in your hearts -- fervently prayed silently. And ignorantly and unthinkingly? God grant that it was so! You heard these words: 'Grant us the victory, O Lord our God!' That is sufficient. the *whole* of the uttered prayer is compact into those pregnant words. Elaborations were not necessary. When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victory--*must* follow it, cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!
"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it -- for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.

(*After a pause.*) "Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits!"

It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said.

Usually I get kissed first...

2007-05-23T14:36:00.000-05:00

Usually I get kissed first before Democratic politicians do what they did this week in Washington D.C. George W. is determined to have his war, even if it means he has to hold disaster relief over the heads of the American People (Democratic Party) in order to get his dose of death and destruction. An Associated Press article for May 23, 2007 reported that “Democratic congressional leaders neared agreement with the Bush administration Tuesday to pay for the Iraq war without setting a timeline for troop withdrawal.” I don’t entirely blame the democratic party - after all, it is not quite as bad as the shameful thing that George W. did -

Namely, use disaster relief that should go to the American people WITHOUT A THOUGHT AND WITHOUT STRINGS ATTACHED. But George W. is determined to start wars no matter what it takes. Read on…

“Several officials said the emerging compromise bill would cast about $120 billion including as much as $8 billion for Democratic domestic priorities - SUCH AS DISASTER RELIEF FOR HURRICANE KATRINA VICTIMS AND FARMERS HURT BY DROUGHT.”

I believe at this point that both George W. and the G.O.P. must be suffering some form of mass insanity. In a country that has a health care system that is in a shambles, they are spending over 100 BILLION DOLLARS on killing people in a war that George W. Bush started in the first place..

- in a country that had nothing to do with the tragedy of 9/11
- in a country that didn’t have weapons of mass destruction

So he uses money that should have gone to help Americans in dire need to pry the money for his war out of the American people. Just when I think George W. Bush can’t sink any lower - can’t lose more of his humanity, he manages to sink to brand new lows. HOW LOW CAN YOU GO GEORGE W.???

What could be worse? Can it get worse?

Remember just a week or two ago, those same G.O.P members that said they would no longer support George W. if no progress is made in Iraq by September? It appears that by “progress” they mean stepping up the number of deaths in Iraq. Now the Republic party is proud of what it has done. Read on…

“Republicans said that after weeks of struggle, they had forced Democrats to give up their demand for a date to withdraw troops.” - Associated Press May 23, 2007

I wonder at this point if the Republic Party is more concerned with sticking it to the Democratic side of congress than the concerns of the American People, and the world, not to mention humanity as a whole.

So what does it take to get George W. to let go of some additional money for disaster victims? A war…it takes A WAR? And yes, the Republic Party feels that they have done themselves proud….

“Rep. John Boehner of Ohio, the House Republican Leader, added, ‘Democrats have finally conceded defeat in their effort to include mandatory surrender dates in funding a bill for the troops, so forward progress has been made for the first time in this four-month process.”

SURRENDER? Is that what John Boehner is concerned about? AMERICA STARTED THIS WAR JOHN!!! It makes me want to move to Ohio just so I can “not vote” for the man. The House Republic leader is proud of the fact that the Republican Party was able to force a War down the throats of the American people and the world?

Message to the politicians in both parties in Washington D.C. who feel that they somehow, in their wildest dreams, represent the “will of the people”…

USUALLY I GET KISSED FIRST

Michael Moore and "Sicko"

2007-05-22T10:03:00.000-05:00

Photo credit:Kirsty Wigglesworth / AP

Michael Moore has a new documentary called “Sicko”. In case you haven’t heard of him he is the producer of the movie “Fahrenheit 9/11” – the film that has caused George W. Bush so much ire. The film is described by the associated press as “a ferocious attack on the U.S. health care industry” Both Michael Moore and the documentary are the talk of the Cannes Film Festival in France. Moore is using the film to tell the world about the desperate need to reform America’s health system.

As part of the film he took a group of sick Americans, including people who were rescue workers during the September 11 tragedy, to Cuba seeking medical treatment. Moore told the Associated press that the group only went to Cuba for medical treatment after failing to be admitted to the U.S. military base at Guantanamo Bay – where Moore told the associated press that the “al-Qaida suspects receive better treatment than millions of Americans”. He was given 20 days by the U.S. Treasure Department to respond to questions.

“It’s a government that’s funded by the pharmaceutical companies and the health insurers, so I’m not surprised they’re coming after me, said Moore. I’m surprised they’re doing it so soon. I didn’t think they’d want to draw attention to the movie this early on.”

“They want me to name names” Moore told the Associated Press.

To say the film has been received well at the film festive is putting it mildly. The associated press article had this headline:

“Cannes, France – In Cannes, Michael Moore is a rock star-mobbed by fans, assailed by cameras and forced to wolf down a plate of pasta between his latest interview and his next live TV Appearance.”

Mr. Moore had this to say about the film:

“It was pretty somber working on this film. We just kept thinking, the only reason this person is dying is because they hold American citizenship. If they lived in Canada or Britain or France, they’d have a chance.” – Michael Moore

When he was pulling up to a TV studio in France for yet another interview, Moore had this to say:

“The facts are indisputable. People in those countries live longer than us, they have a lower infant mortality rate, they spend only half the money that we spend per person on health care, and yet hey have a healthier nation. There’s no part of that picture that I’m painting that is untrue.” – Michael Moore.

If his work on his last movie is any indication, “sicko” should be a real eye opener.

Sister Julie

Is George W. Bush just the worst president in history or a war criminal?

2007-05-22T08:52:00.000-05:00

Remember the adage about the three famous monkeys - “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”? While the picture of George W. (above left) seems to embody that phrase, unfortunately we would need to add one more monkey for him – do no evil.
In George W.’s case, however, he would fail the task miserably. And former president Carter has been telling the world why…

In an associated press article for May 19, 2007 former President Jimmy Carter called George W. Bush “the worst president in history.” Jimmy Carter goes on to say "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history,"

Carter, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002, had the following to say about George W. Bush and the war in Iraq.

"We now have endorsed the concept of pre-emptive war where we go to war with another nation militarily, even though our own security is not directly threatened, if we want to change the regime there or if we fear that some time in the future our security might be endangered," he said. "But that's been a radical departure from all previous administration policies." - former president Jimmy Carter

“Pre-emptive war”? My friends, that means George W. STARTED THE WAR. Don’t think so? Bob Woodward, the journalist who is in part responsible for bringing Nixon and the Watergate scandal to light thinks so. Here is what he had to say, in part, in a recent interview on CBS’ 60 minutes:

“And there's this low boil on Iraq until the day before Thanksgiving, Nov. 21, 2001. This is 72 days after 9/11. This is part of this secret history. President Bush, after a National Security Council meeting, takes Don Rumsfeld aside, collars him physically, and takes him into a little cubbyhole room and closes the door and says, ‘What have you got in terms of plans for Iraq? What is the status of the war plan? I want you to get on it. I want you to keep it secret.’ – Bob Woodward.

In his new book “Plan of attack” Journalist Bob Woodward gives a detailed account of how and why President George W. Bush decided to wage war on Iraq. So has George W. Bush committed a crime? You may judge for yourself, but in an article for CNN their “Find Law” columnist John W. Dean said the following:

“This administration may be due for a scandal. While Bush narrowly escaped being dragged into Enron, which was not, in any event, his doing. But the war in Iraq is all Bush's doing, and it is appropriate that he be held accountable.

To put it bluntly, if Bush has taken Congress and the nation into war based on bogus information, he is cooked. Manipulation or deliberate misuse of national security intelligence data, if proven, could be "a high crime" under the Constitution's impeachment clause. It would also be a violation of federal criminal law, including the broad federal anti-conspiracy statute, which renders it a felony "to defraud the United States, or any agency thereof in any manner or for any purpose."

-John W. Dean in his article for CNN “Is lying about the reason for a war an impeachable offense?”

Is George W. Bush the worst president in history? That covers a lot of ground my friends, but former President Carter thinks so, and I agree with him. Has he committed a crime? Can we consider him a war criminal? Only time and the courts will tell…

Jerry Falwell's legacy of hatred

2007-05-18T14:07:00.000-05:00

Jerry Falwell was found dead on Tuesday May 15, 2007 – this week. For those of you who have never been subjected to his remarks, some of them are included below. He was the founder of a group that was ironically called “The moral majority” He was a man who proclaimed himself to be Christian yet who preached hatred of gay men and lesbian women. He believed God did not hear the prayers of Jews.

While Jerry Falwell was busy living by Leviticus 18:22 (“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination”) he somehow missed Leviticus 25:44 (“If you need slaves, you may buy them from the nations around you”) I am not personally aware if Mr. Falwell owned any Canadians. I doubt he did however, as slavery is not acceptable as, to him apparently, preaching hatred. Most of all, when he lived Mr. Falwell forgot one very, very important part of the bible. The words of Jesus himself:

And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. – John 13:34

If God is the merciful loving God that I know He is, He will give Jerry Falwell a chance to make up for the hatred he preached while he was alive. Karma, as they say is Karma. So if you meet a gay teenager about 14 years from now – and if that young man looks very confused at how to reconcile his love for God with the with the legacy of hatred Jerry Falwell left. Well have a bit of pity on the young man. The young man may just be Jerry Falwell reincarnated…

Jerry Falwell’s legacy of hatred:

Jerry Falwell blamed gays and lesbians with the destruction of the Twin Towers in New York on 911 - “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.” – Jerry Falwell
(source: http://archives.cnn.com/2001/US/09/14/Falwell.apology/)

Jerry Falwell did not believe God hears the prayers of Jews:“I do not believe,” Jerry Falwell told reporters, “that God answers the prayer of any unredeemed Gentile or Jew.” – Jerry Falwell
(source: http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/10806.html#more-10806)

Jerry Falwell believed Heaven will destroy Metropolitan Churches and then Celebrate:
Jerry Falwell called gay-orientated Metropolitan Churches “Brute beasts” and “a vile and Satanic system” that will “one day be utterly annihilated and there will be a celebration in heaven.” This statement was proven in court by gay activist Jerry Sloan
(source: http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/10806.html#more-10806)

Some further statements by Jerry Falwell:
"[Vice President Gore] recently praised the lesbian actress who plays 'Ellen' on ABC Television...I believe he may even put children, young people, and adults in danger by his public endorsement of deviant homosexual behavior...Our elected leaders are attempting to glorify and legitimize perversion." People for the American Way, "Hostile Climate", 1998, p.9.”
(source: http://www.hatecrime.org/subpages/hatespeech/robertson.html)

"Someone must not be afraid to say, 'moral perversion is wrong.' If we do not act now, homosexuals will 'own' America!...If you and I do not speak up now, this homosexual steamroller will literally crush all decent men, women, and children who get in its way...and our nation will pay a terrible price!" - People for the American Way, "Hostile Climate," 1997, p.15.
(source: http://www.hatecrime.org/subpages/hatespeech/robertson.html)

The State of American Healthcare

2007-05-18T11:07:00.001-05:00

The State of American Healthcare...

The picture above is by Jon Griffon

In an associated press article dated May 16, 2007 Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel is quoted from the Journal of the American Medical Association. The article starts with the following paragraph:

“The U.S. heath care system is a ‘dysfunctional mess’ and politicians who insist otherwise look ignorant, according to a medical essay by a prominent ethicist at the National institute of Health.”

The prominent ethicist would be Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel from whom the article then offers up the following quote:

“If a politician declares that the United States has the best health care system in the world today, he or she looks clueless rather than patriotic or authoritative.” – Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel

In the article, Dr. Emanuel says that the U.S. spends $6,000 per person per year on health care, an amount that is more than 16 percent of the gross national product and more than any other country.

Six thousand dollars?

Oh would that it were. It would be a wonderful discount for us. We spend $16,200 per year for Mother Superior’s health care insurance alone. The American Health Care system is a shambles. Even if you are in perfect health, even if you have great health care insurance, you should care. Why?

Everyone gets old that’s why….

What happens when you get old? What happens if you ever reach the point where you cannot care for yourself? At our convent we take care of an elderly woman who is unable to care for herself. Consider this, however. We live in a country that is driven by greed – call it the wage/price spiral if you have taken macro economics and it happens to float your particular boat. I work in real estate as I have for years, and see an industry that not only is driven by greed, but thrives in it. We live in an economy where the it usually takes two incomes to support a family. And what happens if a relative of one of the wage earners can no longer take care of themselves? I am not talking about when someone simply needs to live with their children – I am talking about when they need around the clock care.

Years ago my parents went to a restaurant called “The oriental pearl”. When the owner of the restaurant found out what dad did for a living (he was a nursing home administrator at the time) he was shocked. “We are honored to have our old ones with us” he said. But he might not say that now. Not everyone is in a position to be able to quit there job to be able to take care of an older relative around the clock.

I hope you are not counting on the American healthcare system to take care of you under such circumstances. We have a healthcare system that is a REAL KILLER – literally.

Exit Strategy

2007-05-18T10:14:00.000-05:00

We live in a country with a president that lost the election. Not the first time, of course, that the American People said “We don’t want this man to be president” but the electoral college said “Yes you do”. In November 2000 George W. Bush actually lost the “Popular vote” and a hateful of powerful people in the electoral college, decided he should be president anyway – or should I say at this point “Dictator”? Once George W. became the incumbent (and ran against John Kerry) in 2004, the rest, sad to say, is history.

So now a president that was never elected to the office the first time around, insists on having his wars no matter whether the American People, The democratic party and now even his OWN republican part his against him. The prime minister of England, has now resigned in part, due to his support for the American Dictator George W. Bush (source: http://politics.guardian.co.uk)

It appears that the only possible exit strategy is the one portrayed by political cartoonist Mike Lane that appeared in the local Daily Journal on May 15, 2007:

political cartoon above: “exit strategy” by Mike Lane

Whitehouse finds ‘war czar’

2007-05-18T09:15:00.000-05:00

Pictured above: Field Marshall Erwin Rommel

In an associated press article released May 16, 2007 it was announced George W. Bush had found a nominee “…to oversee the fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan as a ‘war czar’”. The article goes on to state the following:

“The White House has sought a war coordinator to eliminate conflicts among the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies – and to speak for the president at times.”

The articles gives the title of the new position as “assistant to the president and deputy national security adviser for Iraq and Afghanistan policy and implementation”. Try and fit THAT on a business card. I don’t know anything about the president’s nominee, for the position which will require confirmation by the United States Senate – that is not the point. The point is that the president is in the process of appointing his own little “Reichsmarschall” to oversee a war that he started and no one else wants. It is a war over started over non-existent weapons of mass destruction in a country named Iraq that had nothing whatsoever to do with the horrifying events of “911”. It is a war in which even those members of the GOP that normally supported him, have said they will no longer support him if there are no changes in Iraq by September. So my suggestion is to not bother with a position with a title that is 16 words long. Call it what it is George W. and above you have my recommendation for it. None other than Field Marshall Erwin Rommel of the Third Reich – posthumously of course.

A teacher's teacher

2007-05-17T08:35:00.000-05:00

Today we start out with a memory. You know a teacher is a good teacher when a student remembers them thirty two years later. In high school some students would get together and just go out driving on a Friday night - no set destination in mind. Back then this was known as “cruising” although, sad to say, it has a much different definition now, and not a very happy little one either.

We had two regular destinations - the first was a smorgasbord, where we would attempt to “eat the owner out of business” (in those days my metabolism was set a good deal higher by the good Lord). The second place was the house of our favorite teacher. One evening we stopped at the local smorgasbord with a particularly large group of students. After eating our considerable fill, the waitress walked up to the group of about 20 of us to settle the bill. We asked for separate checks, and actually waited for her to fill out part of the first check before we stopped her. I am not sure if she appreciated the sense of humor of a group of teenagers but I am sure she didn’t mind the $100 dollar tip we left - considerable considering that was in the early 1970s.

The second destination was the home of our American History teacher - Mr. Aldo V. Caroza. If there is such a thing as a “man’s man” Aldo Caroza was a “teacher’s teacher” He was the sort of teacher that students talk about decades later (like right now). God bless him, even though we all just dropped in on him, Mr. Caroza always let us in. He visited with us and we always left the recipients of his hospitality and his wonderful sense of humor.

Two memories stick with me about Aldo Caroza to this day. The first is his collection of motorcycles. He had a garage full of Mottoguzzi motorcycles, like the one above. He would ride around town in his motorcycle helmet, never taking his bike much above 35 miles per hour.

Like all schools did at least (I don’t know if they still do) ours had students who volunteered to run messages from the principal’s office to the classrooms. Rarely did a student make it past the classroom of Aldo Caroza. He was a popular teacher. Each time a student came to the room to deliver a message they were “shanghaied”. He had a small metal coil he could plug into the wall to heat up a cup of water. He always kept tea and sugar in his desk. Whenever a student came to deliver a message, he would offer them a cup of tea, a chair, and a front row seat to the day’s lecture. The students always stayed. Aldo was a fantastic teacher. I still remember him all these years later. He left me not only part of his knowledge, but his love for history. God bless you Aldo wherever you are today.

Walnut Inventory

2007-05-15T15:34:00.000-05:00

Walnut Inventory

It’s surprising sometimes how one small event – a turn of phrase, a sound, a smell can bring back a flood of memories. Not always good ones to be sure. You can bet, however, if they are about something that was done to us, the person who did them never walks down the street grimacing about what they did.

Sometimes the memories are pleasant ones. Sometimes they are just though provoking.

This morning at breakfast Mother Superior turned to me and said “I am sorry there were not walnuts for the oatmeal” – something she always adds. But dear mom, God rest her soul, would have said never look a gift horse in the mouth, and never complain about a meal someone else is willing to make for you. Eat it and be happy. The fortunate thing about Mother Superior’s cooking is that it is always wonderful. But that is a blessing in disguise (as my waistline currently, sagging-ly shows) The memories this particular word, walnuts, evoked, is something that was once said by a visitor to the convent.

This particular visitor was a relative of one of the sisters. He had a habit of treating nuns like he treats employees. Despite the fact that he is not, obviously, a nun himself, nor does he live in the convent. He has offered advice on lo’ so many things. In this particular case he saw the walnuts that Mother Superior keeps to add to food and told her…

“You aren’t managing your walnut inventory here.”

Now where this a receiving dock of someplace like the Nestles Corporation I might understand the phrase. But this is the kitchen of a convent we are talking about here.

At this point a word of explanation is in order. For those of you who may not have a background in business there are two ways to handle inventory. Those ways are called LIFO (last in first out) and FIFO (First in first out). I won’t go into what they mean. I will just point out they are two ways corporations with factories and warehouses handle there massive inventories. So I told you that to tell you this…

So the next day, after said visitor has left, Mother Superior tells me of this little even. Without missing a beat I looked at her and said “Should we handle our walnuts LIFO or FIFO.” Mother Superior also has a business background and burst out laughing. Yes, it is a had to be there sort of thing.

But the remarkable thing to me is, just how usual this sort of behavior is. I often see people who treat business associates like good buddies and family like dogs. Well, perhaps I should rephrase that – at the convent we treat our dogs very well thank you. So I will say “Treat family like dirt.”

My grandfathers brother was the same way, only with his military background. The thing is, he was universally abusive. He treated everyone like a “slick sleeve” private in the midst of basic training. (And believe me, drill sergeants in basic training SPECIALIZE at treating people with abuse). Grandfather once took his brother to “his country club”.
“His” of course only in the sense that he went there on a regular basis to play golf; and country club only in the sense that it was a nice place owned by the local park district with a large dining area and bar. When grand father (actually step grandfather – an important distinction for those of you who have read my column before).

When grand father took his brother to the bar, his brother offered buy a round of drinks for everyone in the bar. However, his brother was such an instantly abrasive man that no one in the bar, and I mean NO ONE would take a drink from him. When people won’t even drink free booze, THAT my friends is one abusive person.

But sometimes that particular cover is not like what the book is on the inside. I worked with someone once, long before I was a nun, and long before I found God (after all He always knew where I was). He was a “full bird colonel” in the military as they say. He was retired, and still in the active reserves at the time. I remember back then asking someone in management, in a rather flippant manner I am afraid, if I would have to salute him when he came in to work in the morning (he was, after all, to be one of my direct line supervisors). In the end, however, this particular person left the military in the military. He treated his employees with respect and valued their opinions. When I was the acting supervisor, he called me in to listen to the job interviews in for two new openings in my department. Not only did he listen to my opinion, he hired the individuals I recommended.

In the end, there are two lessons to be learned here. As trite as the adage may be, the first one is to “never judge a book by its cover”. The second lesson, and perhaps the most important one, is to always treat your family like your best friends in the world, and NEVER give them “the business”.

Julie Whitefeather

Ivy covered people in ivory colored towers

2007-05-04T10:21:00.000-05:00

Ivy covered people in ivory colored towers

It happens now and then. Mother Superior, who normally drops me off at the train station turns to me and says, “How much leave time do you have?” It has happened so often that it becomes a programmed response – like Pavlov’s dogs. Automatically I reply, “Why?” But I always know why. A trip is planned and I am being left to mind the store (or the convent in this case) or brought along. Mind you, it is never a happy little trip. At least not so far. The destination is usually the same place – an ivory colored tower.

So there I sat this last weekend, once again, in an ivory tower. The ivory tower, in this case, being a four story mansion located in an urban area in a southern state. (Nebulous enough not to name the person but enough to get the point across). The situation has presented itself so often that it is just tiring to write about it – and depressing. Sadder still is that the situation is all to common. The Ivory tower is surrounded by high walls and wrought iron gates. Going through them, as they open ever so slowly by remote control – obviously meant to impress – it impresses me with nothing more than the thought that I am entering a prison yard some where. And a prison it is. The ivy covered man sits alone in his majestic ivory tower. Disconnected from what makes life truly worthwhile – a family, love and God.

But the prison is not made entirely of brick walls. The prison is also made of emotional barriers as well. Does the ivy covered man ever smile and laugh? Certainly – to impress clients for the most part. But the emotional wall is high and wide. When the real ivy covered man comes out, when no clients are around, when there are no acquaintances to impress – the real ivy covered man never cracks a smile. He never laughs. Like the sound of his voice, his emotions are steady, even and monotonous at best. At worst the ivy covered man is busy being very angry and, in his own mind, very, very right – always right.

What is important to the ivy covered man, as he sits alone in his wonderful impressive ivory prison is amazing. Love? No. Not love. Love is not important to this man. Not love of family and not love of God. On this trip I went to a ceremony where 95 young adults devoted their lives to God. True, many may have done so because there parents expected it. But some did so because they loved God – if you shut your eyes and prayed you could feel the joy of the Holy Spirit fill the church to the very rafters. But the ivy covered man, who sat next to me did not feel it. He was very obviously bored. As the Holy Spirit came and filled those who love Him with joy, the ivy covered man was visibly bored and wanted only for the ceremony to be over.

You will meet this ivy covered man in many places. What is important to the ivy covered man? Money – the more the better. I have met such ivy covered men more than once. For years I would watch my father count out the grocery money to my mother – single dollar bill at a time – carefully tugging at each one to make sure two had not stuck together. It was important for that particular ivy covered man to make sure mom did not get more than her allotted share. All the same mom was loving and patient. She took the pittance and stretched it. She fed a family and held it together. She even managed to buy that family presents and occasionally treat herself. That in itself was not just a testament to a remarkable woman, but a small miracle in itself (thank you Papa le bon Dieu).

How do I recognize the ivory tower so well? I once occupied it myself. The God, my dear Papa le bon Dieu, pulled me out of the tower, and pulled the walls down around me. What did I find in the ruins of that tower? Well my friends, I found God.

2007-04-26T17:04:00.000-05:00

If anyone has read any of the articles I write for other sites, you will see that I have been busy lately. It has been awhile (again) since I have been back to the Convent's blog to write. Mia Culpa. Anyway...on to today's subject...

Who is this man and why is he supposed to be Venerable?

MSNBC reported the following:

“JERUSALEM - The Vatican ambassador to Israel threatened Thursday to boycott a Holocaust memorial ceremony next week over a museum’s portrayal of Pope Pius XII’s conduct during the Nazis’ killing of Jews in World War II.

Archbishop Antonio Franco said he had written to the director of the Yad Vashem Holocaust Museum asking for the revision of a caption suggesting the wartime pope had been apathetic to the Jews’ plight.

The caption, quoted in the Israeli press, says Pope Pius XII “abstained from signing the Allied declaration condemning the extermination of the Jews” and “maintained his neutral position throughout the war.”"

Did this particular pope remain neutral at times when it counted? He sure did. The following article is from an article on “Jewishvirtuallibrary.org” by By Shira Schoenberg:

“In the spring of 1940, the Chief Rabbi of Palestine, Isaac Herzog, asked the papal Secretary of State, Cardinal Luigi Maglione to intercede to keep Jews in Spain from being deported to Germany. He later made a similar request for Jews in Lithuania. The papacy did nothing.

Within the Pope's own church, Cardinal Theodor Innitzer of Vienna told Pius XII about Jewish deportations in 1941. In 1942, the Slovakian charge d'affaires, a position under the supervision of the Pope, reported to Rome that Slovakian Jews were being systematically deported and sent to death camps.

In October 1941, the Assistant Chief of the U.S. delegation to the Vatican, Harold Tittman, asked the Pope to condemn the atrocities. The response came that the Holy See wanted to remain "neutral," and that condemning the atrocities would have a negative influence on Catholics in German-held lands.

In late August 1942, after more than 200,000 Ukrainian Jews had been killed, Ukrainian Metropolitan Andrej Septyckyj wrote a long letter to the Pope, referring to the German government as a regime of terror and corruption, more diabolical than that of the Bolsheviks. The Pope replied by quoting verses from Psalms and advising Septyckyj to "bear adversity with serene patience."

On September 18, 1942, Monsignor Giovanni Battista Montini, the future Pope Paul VI, wrote, "The massacres of the Jews reach frightening proportions and forms."Yet, that same month when Myron Taylor, U.S. representative to the Vatican, warned the Pope that his silence was endangering his moral prestige, the Secretary of State responded on the Pope's behalf that it was impossible to verify rumors about crimes committed against the Jews.

Wladislaw Raczkiewicz, president of the Polish government-in-exile, appealed to the Pope in January 1943 to publicly denounce Nazi violence. Bishop Preysing of Berlin did the same, at least twice. Pius XII refused.”

I recently read an associated press article that said “The Vatican’s ambassador to Isreael attended a Holocaust memorial service Sunday, reversing an earlier decision to boycott the event that threatened to upset fragile ties between Israel and the Holly See. Monsignor Antonio Franco said last week he would skip the ceremony over criticism of the WWII conduct of Pope Pius XII.”

So let me say this about that…for the good Monsignor to deny that there was ever a time when Pope Pius XII turned a deaf ear when it was desperately needed is nothing short of ludicrous. If he really believes that, I have a quit claim deed to the Brooklyn Bridge I would like to sell him. This is the same Vatican with the same Pope that last September gave a speech in Germany about which the BBC reported the following:

Pope Benedict XVI in Germany when he delivered the speach below:

“Speaking in Germany, the Pope quoted a 14th Century Christian emperor who said the Prophet Muhammad had brought the world only "evil and inhuman" things.”

The article later goes on to give the exact quote, by Emperor Manuel II Paleologos of the Byzantine Empire:

“Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

Well my friends, this is the same pope who appeared in an interview, before he was pope, where I heard the WORDS COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH – in which he said that all Jews would have to convert to Christianity in order to go to Heaven. What do I think about all this? I think that nothing irritates me more than bigotry to begin with. A bigot is a bigot no matter whose mouth the words come out of. Do I think that Pope Pius XII should be “venerable”? Only God can judge that. It doesn’t matter a fig what the Vatican says about who should be a saint and who shouldn’t – it matter only what God thinks. I only know that there are no divisions in Heaven. I have said it before, I will say it again – there are many paths up the mountain, but they all lead to the summit. There is no Christian Heaven, there is no Jewish Heaven. There is no Muslim Heaven. THERE IS ONLY HEAVEN.

One last note to anyone who may not like Jews: Christ was and is Jewish. His Mother was and is Jewish. The apostles were all Jewish. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t go about insulting the same religion held by the Almighty’s Mother.

2007-04-13T17:49:00.000-05:00

I have been busy these days my friends. I am a staff writer for World of Warcraft Chronicles located at here:

http://www.wowchron.com/articles.php.

I am also now a contributing author to Virgin Worlds located at www.virginworlds.com. Plus the daily job and duties at the convent.

And so, on to today’s column…

At the top of today’s column for the convent is a man whose music I grew up with, and enjoyed. But the man himself, is not only too weird for words, but a far cry from being a shining example to the world's youth. In an article from Rolling Stone Magazine, quoted by the associated press, he is quoted as being asked “The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father.” Here is what he had to say about it:

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Keith Richards may make a great musician, but he makes a lousy role model. On the other hand, Al Gore made a lousy politician but he makes a fantastic environmental activist.

When Al Gore testified about global warming in front of the United States Congress he was met by argumentative politicians with their collective heads buried in the sand. One of his replies was:

“If the crib is on fire, you don’t debate that the baby is fireproof.” – Al Gore before the United States Congress

In a recent associated press article in the local Daily Journal mountain climbers who climb across ice told about ice routes that have disappeared because the ice is melting. While some people may hear about climbing routes across glaciers disappearing and say “who cares” why would you wait until you are knee deep in water to decide to do something about it. Then it is just too late…

More startling is perhaps having a president, George W., who has been in the papers again stating that he will have a dialogue with congress about the budget for the war in Iraq but that he will not discuss any proposal that gives a time by which the troops must return from Iraq. Despite a nation and a congress against the war and George W., he is determined to have his war. Just too astounding for words. I am wondering if the “W” in George W. Bush stands for “warmonger”

More later…

World of Warcraft and the 583rd Medical Logistics Company

2007-03-26T17:10:00.000-05:00

This story begins with a big salute to a special gamer – one who is in the 583rd Medical Logistics Company currently deployed in Afghanistan.. But that is just where the story starts. Marshall Mcluhan, the popular author, spoke about there being a global village. When he wrote about a global village (although he did not coin the phrase) in 1962, the internet didn’t even exist. Today it is hard to imagine a world without it. While the internet has yet to reach the self awareness of Skynet from the Terminator movies, the recent launch by Britain of the Skynet 5 satellite made more than one person stop and think, I am sure. It is this global village that enables us to play massively multiplayer online (MMO) games like World of Warcraft (WoW) in the first place. WoW is a virtual universe that truly embodies the concept of a global village.

There are many small communities within WoW- static groups (groups of five people or so who regularly play together), guilds, and even servers. The latest issue of MMO Magazine has an article about a WoW guild that started all the way back in Ultima Online. That is not the first time I have heard of guilds that branch across MMO games.

Where but in virtual worlds like WoW could people who live all over the world meet together, play together, and still be home for their next meal? Every Wednesday morning a group in one of the guilds I belong to plays together and it consists mostly of Australians and Americans. Games like WoW have allowed me to meet, and get to know people I never would have met otherwise - people like the gamer who we shall call “Aerrar” (for that is the name this player goes by). Last night I received a whisper or tell from Aerrar. Now this in itself is nothing new for me. I have played Everquest, Ultima Online, Eve Online, World of Warcraft and now Vanguard. The last four games I played since I have been a nun. Most people who meet me on line are surprise to find out I am a nun. That is not news to people who have read my articles before. For me getting “Sister can I talk to you” whispers is part of the reason I am online. I am usually the resident nun and I make no effort to hide it. Wow and games like it have allowed me to meet a lot of people in various situations; women who are in abusive marriages and have had to flee for their lives, Women who are in custody battles for their children, and people like Aerrar.

This soldier is surely being watched over by God, or whatever name you care to attach to a divine entity. Recently as we were both playing WoW, Aerrar told me about being in an Artillary unit in Iraq and having survived a blast from a hand grenade from 3 feet away. In a rather sheepish whisper, I was asked to pray for both Aerrar and the 583rd Medical Logistics company, now stationed in Afghanistan of which Aerrar is a part. Without the virtual community, the global village, that is created by games like World of Warcraft, I never would have found out about the miracle that saved this soldier’s life. We had a nice conversation and joked for awhile about one of my favorite lines from the Robin Williams movie “Good Morning Vietnam”. It is the scene where he pretends to be called for a song dedication from someone in an artillery unit, and when asked what song to play the “artilleryman” says “ANYTHING JUST PLAY IT LOUD.” I found out from Aerrar that line is very true.

What amazed me, as we talked, was how things had changed in the military. When I was in the military back in the 80’s (the 1980’s not the 1880’s - I am not that old) there were no computers in our unit and certainly no internet. Now I find out about military units were soldiers are able to play World of Warcraft overseas, and Aerrar is not the first soldier I have found out about that way either.

So thanks to the global village of MMO’s like World of Warcraft I found out about a special gamer and soldier who was protected by a miracle. This article is dedicated to the soldiers of the 583rd Medical Logistics Company in Afghanistan…

Keep your head down out there – see you on line.

Sister Julie

© 2007 Juliemarie WhiteFeather

Do a half a day or do life

2007-03-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

There are days, like yesterday that should make me grateful – well at least according to the Dahli Lama. The idea being that those who give us reason to practice our faith and our patience, actually allow that faith to grow. But there isn’t a halo above my head quite yet and I have had more than my share of people who “help my faith grow” In Buddhism we call that “polishing one’s Buddha Nature.” There are those who would say “forget the past...”

But as anyone who has every seen Star Trek V: The Final Frontier knows, sometimes pain can have a reason. In the movie Spock’s Brother offers to take away Jim Kirk's pain (and by that he means emotional pain). Jim Kirk, in the person of William Shatner, has a very direct reply:

“Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away. I need my pain. It’s part of who I am.” – William Shatner as Jim Kirk in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Being born a hermaphrodite, as I was, it is sometimes like having lived two lives in one lifetime. The transition between the two were some of the toughest times and were also the cause such conversations as the one below, which took place in a crowded office mind you, in front of other people:

Co-worker: “So. Can you have an orgasm?”
Me (without missing a beat): “Why are you offering?”

Mind you this was long before I had even thought of becoming a nun – or rather long before God ever put the desire there. But there are times like these that, all together, try one’s soul. People sometimes go through their lives offending anyone they choose, whether it is with a snide comment, a dirty look, or outright filth. Many do so without any thought of reprisals. But then we hear about someone in the paper who just snapped. For example, a few months ago in the City of Chicago, someone walked into an office building near where I work – walked into the office of a patent attorney and shot him dead. That is when we hear the persons family, friends and neighbors say “But he was such a quiet man” as they scratch their heads in befuddlement.

For years an article hung on the bulletin board above my desk. It was given to me by a former co-worker. The article was by a psychiatrist and it was entitled “I saved your life and you never even knew it.” It was all about all of the people who had come in to his office and told him how they had intended bodily harm to a co-worker or supervisor.

I can think back on the people I have worked with over the years who were certain that everything they did was of earthshaking importance. It had to be done, and it had to be done NOW. The end result? One died of stomach cancer before he had a chance to retire. Another died six months after he retired. One died of a heart attack on the job. Yet another got sick at work and asked to go home. That night she was dead. I remember listening to a co-worker on an elevator (and yes this woman was a heavy smoker) “huffing and puffing like a grampus” to use a line from the play “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead.” The next day she too was dead.

So before you get stressed out. When you think that whatever is stressing you is of earth shaking importance. Do what I do. Stop. Take some time out. Remember.

It is better to take a half a day than do life.

Karma is Karma

2007-03-19T17:36:00.000-05:00

Warning: Today is not going to be an uplifting entry. It is just “one of those days” as they say, whoever the infamous “they” are. That being said, and without further adieu, I give you today’s column for those few people who read the convent’s column. I daresay that there are a lot more people who read the actual articles I write for the podcast where I am a staff writer, but one never knows…

Today started out in the usual way with the exception that the 5:00 am “doglarm” did not go off. The reason for that is, mother superior’s dog, who always asks me to walk him at 5:00 am, rather than his owner, was that he was shut in with his owner for the night. Sister Frances went the “second mile” as the good book says, helping me get ready and out the door. She dropped me off at the “tunnel of death” (what I call the subway where we life – that being the same subway that has caught fire twice while I was in it, once while I was riding in it, been stuck on the tracks more times than I can count and now runs so slow, I could probably jog to work and beat it there).

Once I was done praying (for riding the subway always seems to merit much prayer) I fired up the IPOD and Stevie Wonder. Stevie’s songs always put me in a wonderful mood (pun intended) and by the time I got to work I was in a great mood – but it all went down hill from there.

It is hard to keep a good mood when you work somewhere where some of your co-workers wont’ ride an elevator with you, and others look at you as if you are Satan incarnate and somehow have no right to co-exist on the same planet with them. Sad to say they have been forced to put up with my “Company” in the same company for more than 20 years now.

Twenty LONG years….

Being the resident nun isn’t what has caused all the hate (just some of it), being the resident “ex-hermaphrodite” is the main cause, but you can never tell exactly what makes people get their HATE ON. There is an old expression that says, “It is hard to remember that your original intent was to drain the swamp when you are up to your ass in alligators.” One might easily change that to say “up to your ass in hate.”

But it is not always directed at me, even if, as a project manager, I am often the displaced target of the hate…

…like the woman who called my office to tell me that her neighbors are “Russian spies” and that the satellite dish (that was actually for television) on the roof was a telephone to “Mother Russia.” In the end I was forced to refer her to the FBI because my office doesn’t handle matters of espionage.

…like the woman who called my office to tell me that she wanted the owner of her property to build a fence between her apartment complex and the adjoining field so the geese couldn’t get into the complex (hello? Geese having WINGS and can FLY)

…like the woman who called my office to tell me that her ex-husband had her walls “bugged” (no I she didn’t mean the eight legged variety – she meant the electronic kind).

…like the woman who called me to tell me that her neighbors always leave their front door open and wanted me to force them to close their front door.

But the opportunities for avenues to vent one’s hate are many and varied in today’s world. We live in an age of instant media and virtual worlds. The internet and electronic media have created a global village, as Marshal Mcluhan called it. But the advent of MMO’s (Massively Multiplayer Online games) that create virtual world have created opportunities to hate other people that are in other cities, states and even countries. We live in a world where you have the opportunity to ruin someone’s day you may have never met and will never meet face to face.

We even, God help us all, live in a world with “push button warfare.” A button is pushed, a missile is launched, and entire cities disappear. But “twas not always so.”

693 years go, in 1314, Robert the Bruce, first High King of Scotland, won the Battle of Bannockburn, taking up the uprising begun by William Wallace (about whom the movie Braveheart was made) and ultimately Scotlands freedom – for awhile. Back then there was no push button warfare. The hatred that caused one man to take the life of another was face to face – they watched the life flow out of the eyes of the person they had just killed.

And so mankind invents new an interesting ways in which to heap hatred upon their fellow man.

But here is the ultimate lesson…

Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, there is an expression that says “Karma is Karma” in other words, what goes around comes around. That hatred you heap on other people, in whatever measure you give them, will be given right back to you in the long run.

Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow. But EVENTUALLY it will all come around. And when it does? WHEN IT DOES IT IS GOING TO BE A DOOZY. A real “hate bomb”.

There is a reason that God taught us all to love those who hate us, as hard as it is to do. And believe me, I still have a hard time loving someone who hates me so much they won’t even ride and elevator with me, or hurls filthy epithets at me all because of how I was born.

Why not hate them back?

Well if nothing else, for our own self preservation (see above statement about hate bombs).

In the mean time I am seriously considering donating my brain to science, but I don’t think I will wait to die first.

The right place at the right time...

2007-03-16T13:39:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I am asked the question “what does it takes to be a nun?” I was asked that question again last night. There are a lot of answers to that particular question. My “off the cuff” answer is “first you have to be a woman, then be in a convent, then be in a religion.” Sometimes the answer has been “get to the point where you not only want to give your life to God, but you need to give it to God, if nothing else, just to straighten the whole thing out and make it worth living.”

But today the answer is “Being in the right place at the right time.”

And example of that is that there is a traffic assistant (sort of a civilian equivalent of a traffic cop that directs traffic). She just stopped me in the street one day and started talking to me as if we were old friends. The thing is, I didn’t remember introducing myself to her that day, but she certainly was friendly and…well being a nun is also about listening. Every now and then I stopped and we “chatted” for a bit.

Today I was on my way to lunch and saw her. I waved hello (I couldn’t hear her as my I had my headphones on listening to music). She said something and looked a bit crestfallen as they say. I spoke to her and she said, “My mom died yesterday.” Well she needed someone to talk to there and then, and God just had me come along there and then. She told me how she had seen her father’s spirit leave his body when he died. She also told me of how she was asleep and something told her to get up despite the fact that she didn’t want to; that was when she saw the spirit of her mother. She talked to the hospital and they told her they were just going to call her and tell her that her mother had died. Certainly I understood how she felt, for though I lost my own earthly mother long ago, it still feels like yesterday.

So, sometimes being a nun is just about being in the right place at the right time.

A shock to the system

2007-03-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

Hello again readers. A quick pause from the business world, and the life of a staff writer for some personal shocking news…

A quick show of hands. How many of you know who Frank Fools Crow is? Well, I will just bet that not a lot of hands went up. But here is a brief synopsis.

(source: The New York Times)

Frank Fools Crow, a Sioux Tribal Leader
Associated press, November 29, 1989

Frank Fools Crow, a Sioux Indian spiritual leader who helped to negotiate the end of a 68-day insurrection at Wounded Knee, S.D., in 1973, died Monday at the home of his grandchildren. Mr. Fools Crow, whose exact age was not known, was believed to be 99 years old.

He was born near the Wounded Knee Indian Reservation, quitting school in the third grade to work to help his family. As he grew to manhood, he said, he traveled throughout the nation with the Buffalo Bill Cody Wild West show.

In 1973 members of the American Indian Movement seized the village of Wounded Knee, S.D., in an armed revolt to protest the Federal Government's policies on Indians. The seizure lasted 68 days, ending after an agreement was reached between Federal officials and a Sioux delegation of which Mr. Fools Crow was a prominent member. Thomas E. Mails,an artist and ethnologist, wrote his biography,"Fools Crow."

Mr. Fools Crow, a medicine man, had lived with grandchildren near Kyle after the death of his second wife, Kate, in October 1988. His first wife, Fannie Afraid, died in 1954.

Here is another one for you:

Frank Fools Crow, (died 1989) was a Lakota Sioux spiritual leader. He was the nephew of Black Elk. He was the subject of a biography written by James Welsh. In 1975 he was invited to offer a prayer before the United States Senate. In 1983, he presented the fifth and current Chief Illiniwek Indian regalia to the University of Illinois. (source: http://www.answers.com/topic/frank-fools-crow)

Now what many of you do know, I am sure, is about sports teams and their penchant for degrading mascots - teams like “The Washington Redskins”. You may not know this particular mascot – Chief Illiniwek. Chief Illiniwek is the mascot, just retired, thankfully, after decades of pressure on the University of Illinois to do so. Every time I saw “Chief Illiniwek” appearing on the news, having appeared at some U of I sports event, it made me want to vomit on my shoes. Seeing a child prancing around as if he were break dancing on the streets of New York City in American Indian Spiritual clothing to cheer a football game, Something the University of Illinois used to insist was “honoring” American Indians, is nothing short of ludicrous. What it is, is an insult. Whether or not the feathers in the headdress are real is not the point. The regalia which each young man wore was reserved for great spiritual leaders, men of honor and valor. Not a child prancing at a football game.

Then this morning, in an associated press article, I found out that Frank Fools Crow presented the most recent “Chief Illiniwek” regalia to the University of Illinois.

First, I realize some may say that the reason may have been to get real eagle feathers, which are sacred, away from being degraded in such a matter. An article in the Chicago Tribune reports differently (below). The feathers in the regalia where real eagle feathers when they were sold by Frank Fools Crow:

"[Chief Anthony]Whirlwind Horse requested that rather than have an outfit made, we purchase one from Frank Fools Crow, who was destitute at the time and needed the money," Smith said [Gary Smith, director of the Marching Illini from 1976 to 1998]. Smith paid $3,500 for moccasins, a tunic, breastplate, leggings, peace pipe pouch and war bonnet with eagle feathers, according to a May 25, 1982, voucher and other documents.In fall 1982, local businessmen flew Fools Crow, Whirlwind Horse and a representative from the Bureau of Indian Affairs to the U. of I. on their private plane. The regalia was presented during a halftime ceremony that included the smoking of a peace pipe, Smith said." - Chicago Tribune, "Illiniwek fight gets a twist" January 21, 2007

What is shocking is to think that someone like Frank Fools Crow would in any way support such a travesty as the mascot for U of I., let alone sell eagle feathers for such a use. I grew up admiring Frank Fools Crow for the great man he was. But it is like being African American, and growing up admiring Dr. Martin Luther King, only to find out that he made the sheets the KKK used for hoods -which is obviously ludicrous.

But, thankfully, the degrading habit that was Chief Illiniwek is soon to be no more.

Good Riddance to Chief Illiniwek

In the news

2007-03-10T09:58:00.000-06:00

First things first - for those of you who may be readers of this blog that serves as a "daily" update for our convent, a word of explanation. I am now a staff writer for a podcast on itunes. The site averages about 13,000 hits per month, and being a writer for a podcast that is on the front page of Itunes in its category has been keeping me someone busy. I will not, however, abandon this blog.

Next...

One of the things I do each morning, time and duties allowing, is go through the morning paper. The actual news section. For most people this may be a "so what" sort of thing. For me it is a big change of pace. The time was, when I first became a nun, that I didn't read anything that was a book about spirituality of some sort - that and the comics section of the newspaper. Then Mother Superior asked me to go back to writing a book I had worked on (which she is now reviewing to submit for publication).

So...

Here are some interesting items "in the news" where our convent is located...

President Bush Those of you who have read this blog before have some inkling on me views of current presidential policies. The latest effort of our president to spread democracy is a "good will tour" of South America (instead of trying to spread it at the point of a gun like he usually does). One of the chief detractors of President Bush, in South America at least, is the President of Venezuela, President Hugo Chavez. When Bush was asked about what President Chavez, Bush, had this to say - "I bring good will of the United States to South and Central America. That's why I am here." In the mean time President Chavez was addressing a soccer stadium full of people in Buenos Aires, while Bush arrived in Monteverideo, Uruguay. President Chavez had this to say about President Bush:

"The U.S. president today is a true political cadaver, and now he does not even smell of sulfer any more," Chavez told a raucous stadium crowd, alluding to Bush's waning years in office. "What the little gentleman from the North now exudes is the smell of political death, and in a very short time, he will be converted into cosmic dust and disappear from the stage."
- Associated Press, May 10, 2007

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C. The Associated press today reported in an article entitled "FBI broke laws" reported "The FBI's transgressions were spelled out in a damning 126-page audity by Justice Department Inspector General Glenn A. Fine." My first reaction was, of course, "The FBI broke laws? Wow there is a news flash." Okay, time for the Native American side of Sister Julie WhiteFeather to come out. We are talking here, about the same FBI that kidnapped a Native American woman named Myrle Poor Bear and forced her to swear false testimony against Lenord Peltier to get him extradited from Canada. The FBI told her they would take her children away from her. More, they threatened her with death. Here is what Myrtle Poor Bear herself had to say:

"According to Poor Bear, what ultimately led her to capitulate was a grisly display engineered by FBI agents. She was shown autopsy pictures of Anna Mae Aquash. Aquash, an Indian activist, had been found on the reservation with a bullet fired into the back of her skull. Supposedly for identification purposes, Aquash's hands were sawed off and sent to FBI labs. These pictures were shown to Poor Bear as well.

'They showed me certain parts of her body that were decomposed. They said that's how I was going to end up if I didn't co-operate with them. They said they could kill me and get away with it. I was very scared. I got to a point where I believed they would do it.'" (source: http://www.wsws.org/articles/2000/dec2000/pelt-d14.shtml)

So the associated press article from Today's paper reported that Inspector General Glenn A. Fine "found that agents sometimes demanded personal data on people without offical authorization, and in other cases improperly obtained telephone records in non-emergency circumstances. the audit also concluded that the FBI for three years underreported to Congress how often it used national security letters to ask businesses to turn over customer data. The letters are administrative subpoenas that do not require a judge's approval."

Closer to Home - The paper today also has a headline reading "will Chicago bet $500 million on Olympics?" Friends, Chicago, for those of you who may not know, is the hub of the same Cook County Board President Todd Stroger, unable to balance the budget recently proposed demanding public defenders work only four days a week where as of February 2007 there were 495 people in jail awaiting trial for more than 2 years and more than 100 of them waiting for more than 4 years. (source:http://chicagobusiness.com/cgi-bin/mag/article.pl?article_id=27241&bt=Cook+County&searchType=phrase) Yet this is the same county where Mayor of Chicago, Richard Daily wants to guarantee the Olympic games against financial loss to the tune of $500 million dollars.

And on a historical note: It turns out that the idea for Daylight savings time came from none other than Benjamin Franklin himself. Apparently, he came up with the idea in 1784 but it wasn't until 1883 that the United States even had a standard time (boy wouldn't that have made getting to important meetings on time - "but general we were supposed to fight the British at noon, and the sun hasn't reached the church steeple in town yet). In 1918 daylight savings time was enacted, but repealed in 1919. Then, in 1974, Richard Nixon signed daylight savings time into law. Thank you Richard Nixon, at least there is one thing we can thank him for - I love daylight savings time.

God Bless You All
Sister Julie

Lies, Lies - all lies!

2007-03-02T10:09:00.000-06:00

What would you say if someone came in to your neighborhood and kidnapped members of your family, members of your neighbor’s family, and in fact family members throughout the entire community? How would you feel if, after those family members were returned, instead of prosecuting the criminals who did this awful thing, the government took 50 years to do anything about it? How would you feel if all they did was pay you some money to compensate you and apologize?

How would you feel if all of a sudden, they changed their minds, and said it never happened?

In a move today that reminiscent of the first two of the famous monkeys “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” Japan’s Nationalist Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe, did just that – “See no evil, hear no evil.” This is right up there with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad describing the Nazi holocaust of European Jews as a "myth". Well gentlemen, and I use the term facetiously, you can tell me that there is no Santa Claus and I will believe you. But when you try to tell me millions of people didn’t die in the holocaust, and the thousands of women weren’t forced into slavery in world war 2, that is where I draw the line. All I can say at this point is that both Sinzo Abe and Mahmoud Ahmadineiad should pray – and pray hard – that there is no such thing as reincarnation, nor divine justice. Because gents, come the afterlife you have one big surprise in store. The full story follows:

The Seattle Times for Friday March 2, 2007 carried the full version of the story
By HIROKO TABUCH
The Associated Press

TOKYO — Japan's nationalist prime minister denied Thursday that the country's military forced women into sexual slavery during World War II, casting doubt on a past government apology and jeopardizing a fragile detente with his Asian neighbors. The comments by Shinzo Abe, a member of a group of legislators pushing to roll back a 1993 apology to the sex slaves, were his clearest statement as prime minister on military brothels known in Japan as "comfort stations."

Historians say 200,000 women — mostly from Korea and China — served in the Japanese military brothels throughout Asia in the 1930s and 1940s. Many victims say they were kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery by Japanese troops.

But Abe, who since taking office in September has promoted patriotism in Japan's schools and a more assertive foreign policy, said there was no proof the women were forced into prostitution. "The fact is, there is no evidence to prove there was coercion," Abe said.

His remarks contradicted evidence in Japanese documents unearthed in 1992 that historians said showed military authorities had a direct role in working with contractors to forcibly procure women for the brothels.

The documents, which are backed up by accounts from soldiers and victims, said Japanese authorities set up the brothels in response to uncontrolled rape sprees by invading Japanese soldiers in East Asia.

In 1993, then-Chief Cabinet Secretary Yohei Kono apologized to the victims of sex slavery, though the statement did not meet demands by former "comfort women" that it be approved by parliament. Two years later, the government set up a compensation fund for victims, but it was based on private donations — not government money — and has been criticized as a way for the government to avoid owning up to the abuse.

The mandate for the fund is to expire March 31. Abe's comments were certain to rile South Korea and China, which accuse Tokyo of failing to fully atone for wartime atrocities. Abe's government has been recently working to repair relations with Seoul and Beijing.

The statement came just hours after South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun marked a national holiday honoring the anniversary of a 1919 uprising against Japanese colonial rule by urging Tokyo to come clean about its past. Roh also referred to hearings held by the U.S. House of Representatives last month on a resolution urging Japan to "apologize for and acknowledge" the imperial army's use of sex slaves during the war.

"The testimony reiterated a message that no matter how hard the Japanese try to cover the whole sky with their hand, there is no way that the international community would condone the atrocities committed during Japanese colonial rule," Roh said.

Dozens of people also rallied outside the Japanese Embassy in Seoul to mark the anniversary, lining up dogs' heads on the ground with pieces of paper in their mouths listing names of Koreans who allegedly collaborated with the Japanese during its 1910-45 colonial rule. Organizers said the animals were killed at a restaurant; dogs are regularly eaten in Korea. Roh's office said late Thursday it did not have a direct response to the Japanese leader's remarks. In Beijing, calls to the Chinese Foreign Ministry seeking comment on the remarks were not returned.

State Department spokesman Sean McCormack would not comment on Abe's statement.
The sex-slave question has been a cause célèbre for nationalist politicians and scholars in Japan who claim the women were professional prostitutes and were not coerced into servitude by the military.

Before Abe spoke Thursday, a group of ruling Liberal Democratic Party legislators discussed their plans to push for an official revision of Kono's 1993 apology. Nariaki Nakayama, chairman of the group of about 120 legislators, sought to play down the government's involvement in the brothels by saying it was similar to a school that hires a company to run its cafeteria.

"Some say it is useful to compare the brothels to college cafeterias run by private companies, who recruit their own staff, procure foodstuffs and set prices," he said.
"Where there's demand, businesses crop up ... but to say women were forced by the Japanese military into service is off the mark," he said. "This issue must be reconsidered, based on truth ... for the sake of Japanese honor."

Sex-slavery victims, however, say they still suffer wounds — physical and psychological — from the war. Lee Yong-soo, 78, a South Korean, said she was 14 when Japanese soldiers took her from her home in 1944 to work as a sex slave in Taiwan. "The Japanese government must not run from its responsibilities," said Lee, who has long campaigned for Japanese compensation. "I want them to apologize. To admit that they took me away, when I was a little girl, to be a sex slave. To admit that history

Emmett Till you are not forgotten

2007-03-01T14:52:00.000-06:00

The fact that there is anyone, or WAS EVER ANYONE who things it was alright to kill another human being in such a way for such a reason should NEVER be forgotten. I will let the article speak for itself, but the words of Emmett's murder should be heard first:

J.W. Milam, in his interview with William Bradford Huie for Look magazine says to Emmett Till before he shot him, "God damn you, I'm going to make an example of you—just so everybody can know how me and my folks stand."
Source:www.black-collegian.com

Below: Emmett Till

Below: Carolyn Bryant Donham as a young woman and in 2004

By JACK ELLIOTT JR. and ALLEN G. BREED, Associated Press Writers Tue Feb 27, 9:41 PM ET

JACKSON, Miss. – All but closing the books on a crime that helped give rise to the civil rights movement, a grand jury has refused to bring any new charges in the 1955 slaying of Emmett Till, a black teenager who was beaten and shot after whistling at a white woman in the Mississippi Delta.

The district attorney in rural Leflore County had sought a manslaughter charge against the white woman, Carolyn Bryant Donham, who was suspected of pointing out Till to her husband to punish the boy for what was a grave offense in the segregated South.

But the grand jury last Friday issued a "no bill," meaning it found insufficient evidence, according to documents made public Tuesday.

Federal authorities decided last year not to prosecute anyone, saying the statute of limitations for federal charges had run out. Mississippi authorities represented the last, best hope of bringing someone to justice. No one has ever been convicted in the slaying.

"You're looking at Mississippi. I guess it's about the same way it was 50 years ago," said a disappointed Simeon Wright, 64, a black man who heard his cousin whistle. "We had overwhelming evidence, and they came back with the same decision. Some of the people haven't changed from 50 years ago. Same attitude. The evidence speaks for itself."

He added: "I don't know how many years I have left on this Earth. We can leave this world and say, `Hey, we tried. We tried to get some justice in this, and we failed.'"
Till, a 14-year-old boy visiting from Chicago, was kidnapped from his uncle's home in the town of Money and killed after he wolf-whistled at Donham, a shopkeeper at the Bryant Grocery & Meat Market.

Three days later, his mutilated body was found in the muddy Tallahatchie River, weighted down with a cotton gin fan. His left eye was missing, and his right eye was dangling on his cheek. The body was identified only by a ring he was wearing.
His mother, Mamie Till-Mobley, who died in 2003, held an open-casket funeral in Chicago, and a photograph of Till's disfigured face in Jet Magazine had a powerful effect on public opinion, letting the world see what was happening in the South.
Roy Bryant, Donham's husband, and his half brother, J.W. Milam, were acquitted of the crime by an all-white jury in 1955. The two men later confessed in an interview with Look magazine. Both are now dead.

The FBI reopened the case in 2004 but decided in 2006 not to press charges. The case was turned over to local prosecutors, with the FBI suggesting they take a closer look at Donham. Some witnesses said a woman's voice could be heard at the scene of the abduction.

David Beito, a history professor at the University of Alabama who has researched the case extensively, said Tuesday there is probably no one else left to arrest in the case. He said it is hard to underestimate the importance of the Till case, which took place the same year as the Montgomery, Ala., bus boycott.
"It gave a jump-start to the civil rights movement," he said. "It did not create the civil rights movement, but it made it more into a mass movement. It really mobilized people."

Donham, who remarried, is now 73 and has declined interviews. A telephone number for her was disconnected Tuesday.

District Attorney Joyce Chiles, a black woman who grew up near where the killing took place, was in court Tuesday and not immediately available for comment.
Wright said: "J.W. Milam and Roy Bryant died with Emmett Till’s blood on their hands. And it looks like everyone else who was involved is going to do the same. They had a chance to come clean. They will die with Emmett Till’s blood on their hands."

Horace Harned, 86, a former Mississippi legislator and member of the Sovereignty Commission, a state agency that worked clandestinely to preserve segregation, said he was glad to see no charges filed. He said the suggestions that Donham had a role in the crime are "a bunch of foolishness."

"Of course, I don't believe in murder. That's the wrong thing. It always backfires on you. That shouldn't have happened," he said. But he added: "You can't correct all the ills of the past. If we did, the Southerners were treated much worse than anybody back in the Civil War."

I have your bones right here

2007-02-27T12:37:00.000-06:00

The headlines in today’s newspaper reads “Revelation or good TV?” Below a picture of two large stone boxes is this blurb:

“Limestone ossuaries founding a 2,000-year old tomb in Jerusalem may have held the remains of Jesus of Nazareth, left and Mary Magdalene, right. That’s what filmmakers and researchers claimed Monday when they displayed their discoveries to the media in New York.”

Film makers? You bet…the filmmaker in this case is the same man who directed the movie Titanic – James Cameron.

Later in the article it has this to say:

“The Lost Tomb of Jesus,” produced by Oscar-winning director James Cameron and scheduled to air March 4 on the Discovery Channels, argues 10 small caskets, called ossuaries, discovered in 1980 in a Jerusalem suburb may have held the bones of Jesus and his family.”

Sound like a Hollywood stunt? It is. Sound like the plot from a Hollywood movie? It was – Google “The Body” a movie made in 2001 with Antonio Banderas. The article is the plot of the movie. Sound too incredible to be true?

It is. That’s exactly what, according to the rest of the article, buried on page 7 of the same paper, the archeology community thought in 1996 when this same garbage was spouted. Read on and this is what you will see in the same article:

“In 1996, when the British Broadcasting Corp. aired a short documentary on the same subject, archaeologists challenged the claims. Amos Kloner, the first archaeologist to examine the site, said the idea fails to hold up by archeological standards.”

The article goes on to say that the ossuraries do not contain any bones. They were reburied, it claims, when the tomb was discovered.

So lets take a good hard look at what the article claims is definitive proof that the tomb contained the bones of Jesus (which have been conveniently removed). The article says this:

“One of the caskets even bears the title, “Judah, son of Jesus” hinting that Jesus may have had a son, according to the film.” Let’s look at one of the experts they have called upon.

A Toronto filmmaker – yes FILMMAKER – named Simcha Jacobovici says another of the Ossuaries has the name “Mariamene”

At this point, based on the FILMMAKERS assumption that ‘Mariamene’ is the name of Mary of Magdalene, they go on to have someone calculate the odds:

“But the filmmakers had statisticians calculate the likelihood that any other family in first-century Jerusalem would have had that cluster of names.”

So, despite the fact that the archeological community already rejected the claims that the “bones of Jesus” (again, conveniently absent) were found in a tomb in Jerusalem –

Despite that, we have the authoritative word of two FILMMAKERS that all of Christianity has been wrong for the last 2,000 years. But wait, there is more.

The article ends with this blurb:

“But Jacobovici [remember this man is a FILMMAKER] said DNA evidence can nonetheless be collected from the boxes. He said DNA analysis has so far proved that Jesus and Mariamene, the putative Mary Magadalene, were not siblings and therefore could have been husband and wife.”

“Putative?” I had to look up the word and my friends, I have two masters degrees. Lets consider the dictionary definition:

Putative – “generally considered or deemed such; reputed.”

Ok, here is where I am going to get a bit un-nun like. For putative it seems to me a better phrase might be “wild-assed guess” So we have the authoritative word of, not the archeological community, which has already rejected the films claims once, but rather the assumptions of none other than HOLLYWOOD. As far as DNA evidence saying that the two people in the ossuaries are not related and could have been married? Well DNA evidence can also prove that my DOG and I are not related and I can be married to him if I am STUPID enough to do it.

Far be it from me to dispute the authoritative claims of filmmakers based on wild assumptions and cooked numbers that Christ did not raise from the dead. However,

My grandfather would have had this to say about that. He would have grabbed his crotch and said…

I HAVE YOUR BONES RIGHT HERE.

Hatred Catches Up With You

2007-02-26T09:07:00.000-06:00

My apologies if you read this blog on a regular basis. If so you have noticed a break of more than a couple of days – the reason for that being that I am now a staff writer for another website (a podcast on Itunes). That, work, religious duties, duties for the convent keep me busy these days. If you do not read this blog on a regular basis…

….well…forget it. This is may be your first time reading this.

In any case, there were some interesting articles in the local paper yesterday. The first one that caught my attention was a small one (on the bottom of the first page no less – it must have been a slow news day) that told of local parents that were suing the local school board to keep their children from learning about gay marriages in school. To his credit, the judge ruled that education does not interfere religious beliefs. What I found amazing was that parents would teach their children to hate. Amazing how, as I have said in these pages before, people will use part of the book of Leviticus to justify hatred for people (Gay men and lesbian women) but conveniently forget the versus a few chapters later that allows slavery so long as the slaves come from a neighboring nation. Both, obvious, are nothing short of some justifying personal hatred and trying to inflict it on ages and generations to come after them. It also amazes me how people can hate other people for who they love, whether it be of the same gender or not – but mass murder by the thousands in a place called Iraq is somehow acceptable. It has even gone to the point where we have a president who tells us he prays to ask God to tell him if it is ok to send troops to their death. Well, as I have said, he isn’t praying to any God I know.

So the end result is children teach their children hatred.

Then they are amazed when their children put that hatred into practice. The same paper had another article in it, also on the front page. A local school has amongst the students who are in the minority, students who are black. These young black children have had to suffer outrages no children should. One little girl has had to suffer the word “Ni**er” (I will not type the entire heinous word here) scrawled across her locker, written in notes slid into her locker, and whispered in her presence in hallways. It is not just the children who are to blame but their hate mongering parents. No child should have to grow up in this atmosphere. Yet we can see the reasons why – parents teach their children to hate. But eventually that hatred catches up with them. I think of an event that happened when I was very young.

There was a local “public housing” project that has long since, Thank You Jesus, been torn down. When I saw this place I wouldn’t have allowed a pig to live in it. One day a man from Texas stopped at a drug store in this housing project purportedly to ask for directions. He was shot dead. My friends, no one is shot dead simply for asking the way to the downtown area. Ask yourself the manner in which this Texan asked for directions. We will never know the truth of it. But if the request included words such as “boy” and “Ni**er” you have your answer why.

Hatred catches up with you.

Turtle Island

2007-02-21T08:28:00.000-06:00

Today I would like to share with you all a part of the book I wrote for the convent called "Congratulations you baby is a boy and a girl" The turtle is a symbol of strength in Lakota culture. It is said, that even when a turtle is killed his heart keeps on beating. In fact land on which we live is called "Turtle Island."

She watched the river slowly ripple over the rocks, listening to a hawk screech in the distance. The sun reached toward noon as it filtered through the branches of the trees over head. She sat there on the log, next to her Grandfather, where they had stopped to rest. She enjoyed their long walks along the river best of all.

“See that?” said her Grandfather, pointing to something moving slowly along the muddy banks of the river.

She looked to where he pointed and there, slowly making its way along the edge of the water, was a small turtle.

“You might not know it, but that little fella is strong. Stronger even than you an’ me.”

“That’s silly Gran’pa, he’s just a little turtle.”

The turtle disappeared under some plants and Grandfather turned to her.

“I’m not talking about what he can carry on his back. I’m talking about what he can carry in his heart. Fact is, even after he dies, his heart will keep beating. That’s why the turtle has always been a symbol of strength.”

Turtle Heart…

We each go through life with our hopes, desires and dreams. The dreams of our youth ay sometimes change. If we are lucky those dreams do not fade away entirely. In a world fraught with frustrations that could easily stress Gandhi, it is easy to lose sight of those hopes and dreams. We may find ourselves swallowed whole by the corporate world, the way the media tells us life should be, and the pressures of every day life.

W.C. Fields once said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. Don’t be a damn fool about it.” It is easy to find ourselves at a place in our lives where we begin to lose sight of our dreams, ourselves and even our sanity. We may be among the many tired, huddled masses, yearning to be free of the office cubes and the neat little box society tries to fit us in…only to find ourselves leading lives of quiet desperation. Still, like the turtle’s heart, most of us continue on, even if the reason is one of necessity…fulfilling the basic needs of life…food, clothing and shelter. Yet even strength born of necessity can reach the breaking point. Sometimes the turtle’s heart quits beating. Like Saul on the road to Damascus, there comes a time of epiphany…no matter how brief…when we tell ourselves that there has to be more to life. When we try to find that missing something, when we reach for our dreams, of if we strive only to be ourselves, with our own values and goals, instead of those forced upon us by others, there is much to stand against us. As we travel this path it is easy to lose sight of the good that we have done with our lives.

Say Goodby to Harboy

2007-02-16T18:02:00.000-06:00

A Native American view of nature and the nature of Heaven.

A typical question I have heard asked of Christian priests, religious and ministers is, “Will my dog go to Heaven.” When I hear of a minister somewhere that has told someone "no" it makes me very sad, but for more than one reason. First is the cruelty of any individual who does not understand the grieving process that someone goes through who loses a beloved animal companion.

The second is the self centered attitude that the answer reflects…

It is remarkable how western society has continually come to think of themselves as the king of the hill, the top of the heap, the masters of nature. I once listened to a lecture by a professor from MIT who said that he used to think he and his students where “part of the solution” until one day he realized that they were “part of the problem.” As I write this from the Midwest of the United States, we are butt deep in snow – a blizzard that many meteorologists attribute to global warming (the idea behind this is pollution thinning the ozone layer and allowing the Earth’s heat to escape), Whether you believe what is said about the effects of global warming or not, it doesn’t take a rocket scientists to see how we have all suffered because of our detrimental affect on nature. It is remarkable, for example, how we still depend on daily transportation fueled by black goop that is pulled out of the ground rather than cleaner alternatives.

And that brings me to the subject of dead parrots…

What has dead parrots got to do with the western view of mankind dominating nature? Plenty…bear with me a bit. I had a parrot named “Harboy” He was one ornery cuss. But he was also smart – very smart. As I am wont to say at times, smarter than some of the people I dated. He would talk to us, play games and when ever we left for anywhere he would say “Say goodbye to Harboy” Well one day Harboy died. I was hysterical with grief. For a birthday present that year I received a brand new baby parrot. I raised her from a bottle fed baby. Then when she was old enough to talk something remarkable happened. Despite the fact that we had never EVER mentioned Harboy the new bird began to have regular conversations with my dead parrot Harboy. Yes, that’s right – she sees dead parrots; or at least talks to them. Now at this point you may tell me I am nuts, or you may take my word for it. I guess it’s a bit like the song I hear over and over again at Christmas “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”

You may not believe in Santa, but as for grandpa we believe.

In other words, you may not believe that pets have souls, but I do believe – we are visited by one. But what has this got to do with mankind’s view of nature?

Plenty

The same sort of mentality that refuses to believe that animals have souls is the same sort of mentality that thinks mankind is the top of the hill to dominate nature. Yet when I was taught by one of my elders, I was taught to see nature as an inverted pyramid, with mankind at the bottom and all of nature spread out above us. They are there for us to learn from and teach us. I could go on and on about lessons from nature, and perhaps at a later date I will. Do you think animals are just “dumb animals” and don’t have a soul? The bible, and Pope John Paul II disagree with you. Here is a wonderful passage I found on one web site”

In the beginning of our Scriptures, we see God creating 'every living creature' (Genesis 1:21, 24). The Hebrew words (transliterated) are 'chay' (living) and 'nephesh' (soul). 'Nephesh' is mentioned over 400 times in the Old Testament signifying soul. The words 'chay nephesh' are used from chapter one, verse 20, when the waters are filled with living creatures. The close translation from Hebrew is: 'And God said: Let the waters swarm [with] the swarmers [having] a soul of life …' and in the next verse: 'And God created the great sea animals, and all that creeps, [having] a living soul …' (The words in square brackets are not used in Hebrew, but are understood.) In verse 30, God provides food - purely vegetarian - to every living thing, in which, the Hebrew adds, '[is] a living soul'. There is a definite separation here between 'every green plant', which of course are living things, and every creature possessed of a 'living soul'. In chapter two, the second, and older Creation account, the first human being was created from dust, then God 'blew into his nostrils [the] breath of life and man became a living soul', a 'chay nephesh'. Here we have the real sense of 'nephesh', or soul, as a being animated by the breath of life. This reminds us of the glorious invocation of psalm 150, where 'everything that breathes' is to praise the Lord.

Pope John Paul II: 'animals possess a soul'

When Pope John Paul II declared in a public audience in 1990 that 'also the animals possess a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren' some people must have thought this was a new teaching, unaware of the Holy Father's scholarly familiarity with the authentic Hebrew texts.

Source: http://www.all-creatures.org/ca/ark-186soul.html

So to me, the proper question would not be “will my parrot go to Heaven?” but “When I go to Heaven will my parrot and his friends let me in?”

There has been more than once in my life when I have met people to whom the answer from my parrot would simply be:

“Say goodbye to Harboy”

The Eternal Embrace -- revisited

2007-02-15T12:18:00.000-06:00

The Eternal Embrace – revisited

I wrote earlier of a “prehistoric” couple that had been unearthed near Verona Italy. Well, the follow-up is good news and bad news. The good news is that the couple who, deeply in love, wished to remain together, even in death will still remain together. Elena Menotti, the archeologist who led the dig, is quoted in a recent associated press article as saying, “we will work to keep them together.” It is nice that they will not be pulled apart in the interest of “science.” The bad news is that the loving couple, whoever they are, will be put on display Mantua, Italy. Is this any different that having a picture of the bones on the front of every major newspaper in the world? I don’t know. The picture brings home many important messages to the people who are alive now. Displaying their actual dead bodies?

Think of it this way.

There is a movie I saw some long time ago. For the life of me I can’t remember what it is called at the moment, except that the producers where Native American or “American Indian” depending on which term you prefer. In the scene, some young Lakota students walk up to a team of archeologists. One student, holding a shovel, asks one of the archeologists where his grandmother is buried. When the archeologists asks why, the Lakota man says, “You’re digging up my grandmother, I am going to go dig up yours.”

And thereby hangs a tale or two…

Some of the Eastern American Indian tribes have had to be so concerned with grave robbers that they have to have tribal members patrol their cemeteries, for fear people will dig up the graves to steal the objects, including the very clothes people are buried in, simply because of a “street value.” For myself, my traditional clothing took me two years to make, hand sewing on thousands of tiny beads. I too worry that if I am buried in my traditional clothing someone will dig up the grave for the clothes so they can sell them.

What is the point? The point is about respect. But respect is a two way street. If you want it, you have to give it in return. Like unrequited love, what good is unrequited respect? While I may at least attempt to love those who hate me, don’t complain if you treat everyone around you like dirt, and they reciprocate in kind. If there is a lack of respect for indigenous people, like American Indians, I too, have seen and experienced a lack of respect the other way around. Let me share a passage from a book I wrote for the convent called “Congratulations your baby is a boy and a girl”

“Red necks and REDNECKS…

There is a tendency to view Native Americans as either being constantly drunk or noble and austere. The truth is somewhere in between. As I found, and a elder later put into words so eloquently, “even amongst red necks there are rednecks.”

This point was vividly demonstrated for a friend, Judy, and I at a rural pow wow, where our limits were tested. Before we even arrived, a man was forced out of the dance arena simply because a handful of veterans did not like what he was wearing. These were men, unconnected with the pow wow, who assumed that being a veteran conferred upon them some quasi-official status of authority. Those holding the pow wow did nothing. Unfortunately for my friend and I, the ruckus was over with by the time we arrived; otherwise there might have been some portent of what was to come.

We arrived for the evening session, expecting a wait to dance. At the time, I was the only member of the family that had regalia, traditional clothing, in which dancing is done. My regalia reflects my service to my country as a veteran and my personal battles outside the military. It is the regalia of a woman warrior, which I have earned. I was registered for the woman’s traditional dance. Not long after my friend and I were invited to a meal for those who were participating in the dance. Dripping sweat in the hot July afternoon, we waited in line for our food. A voice came from behind us. It was an elder we had not seen in some time. This is what traditional pow wow is about; reuniting with old friends, and dancing to honor elders, ancestors and the Creator. We spent the remainder of the meal catching up on news with our elder.

After the meal, Judy and I made our way back to the dance arena. We were intercepted by the same man who had signed me up to dance. Incredulous, we listened to the words he spoke to me.

“We feel you should dance with the men.

Make no mistake. This was not meant as a privilege. It was meant as an insult. This was meant to question my gender and role as a woman. Before I could utter a word, Judy leaped to my defense. It was not long before her very verbal and very vehement objections attracted the attentions of one of the cronies of the man who stopped us. While Judy diverted her vindication toward the new arrival. I simply took my driver’s license out of my pocket and shoved it in his face.

“Does that say female? Let me get my glasses.”

If his reply was meant to aggravate Judy and I, he made his mark. Judy barely contained her anger as the newcomer donned his glasses. Peering over his bifocals he was presented with irrefutable proof of his error.

Like so many other men, these were mired in an archaic, idealized, self conceived image of womanhood as delicate, docile, and subservient. The view they held was little more than misogynistic conceit that in this case was being passed off as a matter of tradition and faith.

By now my friend was hopping mad. I walked on, as she stormed along a half step behind me. The same voice that came from behind us from dinner, now called out from behind us again. The elder invited us into his come to his camp to visit with him again. The elder, unaware of what had just happened was jovial and friendly. It was not long however before a young man invited himself in to camp, interrupting our conversation with the elder. Announcing himself to be the “spiritual advisor of the pow wow” he compounded his rude act by ignoring the elder and launching into a diatribe aimed at me. It was a diatribe meant to once again bring into question my gender and my role.

“What has this got to do with spirituality?, demanded
the elder.”

What followed was a stream of excuses. I met all of the “spiritual advisor’s” accusations with calm denials. Satisfied, his demeanor changed and he extended a hand welcoming me to the pow-wow. The young man who supposed himself to be a spiritual leader, in direct contravention to what any elder present was willing to acknowledge, was little more than an apple…red on the outside and white on the inside. The charlatan advisor, like his Cro-Magnon cronies, used a pretense of faith as a thinly disguised veil for his prejudice. It was a twisted logic used to reason away hate by the unreasoning mind of a bigot. How often have member of society tried to pass off blind hatred as the mores somehow giving them permission to hate?

When we were finally left alone, the elder counseled Judy and I on forgiveness. However, all that had taken place was more than she could bear. She fled campsite to the shelter of the truck. Judy is a strong woman who never cries. On this occasion she did. Not for herself, but for the way I had been treated.

As if all that had taken place were not enough to bear, one further interloper lurched his way into camp. After a short pretense of a conversation he too decided to make his accusations even though his spiritual advisor had been satisfied.

“I have been practicing medicine too long to believe this, he said.

A woman with us in the camp spoke up.

“I thought individuals like her were traditionally honored, people of two spirits”

“Well yes,” came the hesitant reply, upon which came his own his diatribe of twisted logic and selective memory of history and tradition. Even when confront with irrefutable, undeniable proof, he could not let go of his hatred.

He was interrupted by the woman again.

“ARE you a doctor?”

“well no…I am a pharmacist…”

She had caught him in his lie…as if his conjured credentials would somehow make his blend of true tradition and good old fashion hate acceptable.

“Are you concerned with tradition? I confronted the phony doctor. Traditionally you should be honored to have me here.

I used the Lakota terms that fit the situation, which were returned with only puzzled looks.

“Traditionally I would have been asked to bless your warriors before they went into battle.”

Still he chose to hold fast to his assimilated values and tell himself that what was good old cross burnin’ hatred was simply a matter of faith. At least he blessed the camp by leaving it.

Rescue me…

With the handshake welcoming me to the pow wow I felt I had won a battle if only a personal one. I also knew, even before my elder, Blackwolf, later forbid me from doing so, that I would not disgrace the elders I had come to honor by dancing at a pow-wow with individuals such as this, and so many others, who had disgraced themselves. It is ironic that the purpose of the pow wow was to “honor the firekeepers,” the elders, the keepers of wisdom. The man who supposed himself to be a spiritual advisor my friend said, “went back to his world of whisky and white man’s two step.”

I followed Judy back to the truck, where Elder Blackwolf had already come to console and counsel us.

“You asked yourself, why are people treating us like this. You were right to leave. There is a presence of evil at this pow-wow. These people don’t believe in the Red Path. They are here to honor some false traditions which is not the old way. I did not teach you to be weak. You are both strong. You came to enjoy in spirit and celebration, not to be accused of something you are not. They feel they are following the right path, BUT THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE MISTAKEN. People should come to the pow-wow to celebrate who they are and what they have seen. To honor the elders and their ways. Not “are you of this tribe or that tribe. Are you a man or a woman.” This is not what pow-wows are abou. This is why elders left this pow-wow.”

Before we left the pow-wow entirely, I returned briefly to the camp of the elder with whom we had shared a meal. He greeted me and said, “Even amongst red necks, there are rednecks.”

“I will forgive, I told the elder, but I will also stand my ground. I will defend my ways and my elders. My elder feels that the spiritual advisor has disgraced himself. He feels that there is a presence of evil here. I dance to honor my teacher. I dance to honor my elders who have walked on and I dance to honor my creator. As the Christians say, sing and dance and make a joyful noise to the Creator.

The elder understood.

“I will not dance here, I told him, my elder has forbidden me to do so, so I will honor his wishes.”

“I too feel the spirit of evil, he replied. Many of the elders have already left the pow-wow.

I told the elder good bye and he asked to meet me at a pow-wow held in September. Elder Blackwolf had come to rescue us from people who held a spirit of evil in their hearts.”

Respect doesn’t come with a title or social position. It is not automatic. Like disrespect, it is usually earned – but not always. The cold hard fact of the matter is that not everyone lives by God’s commandment, “Love one another as I have loved you.” The world is full of people who will not love you back no matter how you treat them. That is why, as Christ told us, that the path to Heaven is narrow and the path to hell is wide. We have to be in the world but not of it. But being in the world means that if you treat people like dirt, don’t get shocked when someone else digs up your grandmother and puts them on display in Mantua, Italy.

You can take it to the bank...

2007-02-12T16:30:00.000-06:00

One of the regular visitors to the convent is Mother Superior’s cousin. We sat in the convent kitchen yesterday, as I listened to what she had to say about the affairs of her day. It was the usual faire until she told me a small story I will share with you.

A man she knows, whom I will call George, was visiting his brother. George walked into the living room to discover his brother on his knees, apparently talking to himself. When George asked his brother what he was doing, the brother replied promptly that he was storing up prayers in his bank vault.

George’s brother, you see, had been very ill just 2 years earlier. So ill, in fact that he nearly died. He told his brother, that when he nearly died, he was told that he needed to store up more prayers in heaven.

Coming close to death changes your outlook on life. I have come close to death a few times in my life. It changes the way you look at life – it has a big affect on what you think is important. In the case of George’s brother, he saw the importance of what Christ told us, when he admonished us to store up our treasures in Heaven, that where your treasure is, your heart may be also. In this case, the treasures were all of his prayers.

Prayers don’t have to be fancy. They don’t have to be long and memorized. In fact St. Therese didn’t like to pray the Rosary, and said so. She didn’t like long memorized prayers. She just talked to God -- that was her prayer. She lifted her heart up to God.

Considering all of the lives she has touched since she died, I would say that gave her credit for every one of those prayers, even if they had no words, and were simply Sister Therese lifting her heart and her love up to God.

God Bless You All
Sister Julie

The Eternal Embrace

2007-02-09T17:07:00.000-06:00

The Eternal Embrace...that is what it has been called...

Recent newspapers carried the above photograph, or ones like it with a rather remarkable story…it is a story of a love affair that was 5,000 years old. The couple were found 25 miles from the city of Verona, Italy where Shakespeare set his famous play “Romeo and Juliet.” The couple were found buried facing each other, and hugging one another. All indications are that they died very young. Elena Menotti, the archeologist who led the dig put it this way…

"It was a very emotional discovery," she said. "From thousands of years ago we feel the strength of this love. Yes, we must call it love."

In looking at a larger photograph of the couple, they are curled up together, hugging one another. Looking closely you can see one person with arms around the other’s shoulders – while that person puts their arms around the first person’s neck. They are staring into one another’s eyes. No one will ever know if the couple died in each other’s arms or not. But imagine for a moment that they did -- the love that everyone felt, and you can still feel thinking about this couple, is incredible.

…and that is what it is like to feel Jesus’ love. It is a lasting eternal love. It is far too easy to rationalize it, and put it in a historical perspective. We all have heard it said, “Jesus died for you.” But think of it for a moment. How many people do you know that would die for you? Who would take your place in death so you could live? Do you know anyone? Not someone who says they would, for so many do. Who would “take the bullet” for you as they say. Yet, Jesus died for me. He died a very brutal death. He died for me, so I would not have to suffer eternal death. I think of Christ, at the moment of His death, as He stares into eternity – and stares into my eyes. He says, “I love you” and He dies…for me.

How incredibly romantic is that?

Yet few people think of Jesus in terms of romance. Well…a few nuns perhaps….and I JUST HAPPEN to be a nun. Yes, feeling Jesus’ love is like that. True, a spiritual marriage is like any other. Not every moment is filled with ecstasy. Yet there are those passion filled moments when Christ shares His love with His brides…

…and yes…it is like that, an Eternal Embrace.

The sister who would not do the dishes...

2007-02-08T14:36:00.000-06:00

May apologies for being too busy to keep up the daily posting. Today I have something a bit different to present to you – a poem. Not your usual poem though. For those of you who know who Shel Silverstein is, you may be familiar with his poem (and song) called “Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout would not take the garbage out.” One of my shortcomings of late is not doing the dishes often enough. This prompted the re-writing of the following poem dedicated to the memory of Shel Silverstein.

Sister Frances Allouicious
Didn’t like to do the dishes.
She’d scrape the pots and leave the pans,
Piled in the sink with bits of hams,
And though her sisters would scream their wishes,
She simply would not do the dishes.
With coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese,
They filled the sink, they covered the floor,
They cracked the window and blocked the door.
Plates with bacon rines and chicken bones,
And drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Cereal that had dried on bowls like steel,
Bowls with hardened old oatmeal,
Cups with coffee turned old and green,
Bowls with bits of tangerine,
Pots with burned on bits beefy roasts…
The dishes rolled on down the hall,
They raised the roof, they broke the wall…
With greasy napkins and cookie crumbs,
Plates with stuck on bubble gum
Cellophane from Tupperware
Saving things now covered with hair
Knives with food caked and dry,
Saucers with forks and crusts of pie,
And old bent spoons
Quickly filled the rooms,
With smells of fried and rancid meat,
And bowls with glued on Cream of Wheat.
At last the dishes reached so high
That they finally touched the sky.
And all the neighbors moved away,
And none of her friends would come to pray.
And finally Sister Allouicious,
Said, “Ok, I’ll do the dishes!”
But then of course, it was too late…
The dishes reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there in dishes she did hate,
Poor sister met an awful fate,
That I cannot now relate
Because the hour is much to late.
But sisters remember Sister Allouicious,
And always do the dishes.

God bless you all,
And God bless Shel Silverstein wherever he is now,
Sister Julie

The toughest love you'll ever know

2007-02-05T06:35:00.000-06:00

The toughest love you will ever know is learning to love someone who hates you -- tough yet that is what God asked us to do. The following excerpt from a book I wrote for the convent is about that tough love...

"Tolerance, for me, was the first step in learning how to live with myself in peace amidst a world of hatred. The beginning point was to be resolute, and even grimly determined when necessary, to be happy in my identity as a woman when the world told me on a daily basis…sometimes strangers screaming it in my face…that I was not one. At times this meant holding on to peace of mind with firm grip when it so easily slips away. Try living in peace when others hate you instantly and make it a point to tell you so. What I had to do was find a balancing point between anger and pacifism. Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean being a doormat.

As I indicated in the introduction to the book. The first, and perhaps most difficult, was the process of finding myself. This is was a long and arduous process that I went through more than once, before I found the woman I am today…a bride of Christ. Even when I found the person I was meant to be, there were many, many people who will dearly loved to take that happy, strong person away from me. It was very easy to lose myself, especially in the eyes of someone else.
Once you find that person, hold on to who you are with all your strength. Know that whoever you are, you are a child of God and are loved by him. You are the best you there can ever be. The balancing act is a matter of never and I mean NEVER letting anyone take that strong, happy person away from you…no matter what comes your way. This means not letting you take it away from you as well…through pride, stubbornness, depression or one of the other myriad reasons for losing yourself.

Let people dish out whatever hatred they want; I have learned to never be afraid to stand up for myself. Don’t be afraid to confront the hate, the stressors in your life, all those who will revile you. Simply, look the source of the pain, person, place, emotion, spiritual enemy, whatever…in the eye and tell them that they are wrong…no matter how desperately they need for you to be someone else, you are going to be who you are. They and all of the rest of creation will have to simply adjust to it…or go find some other planet to live on. Then turn the cheek again and let them discover that the abuse they wish to dish out doesn’t make any difference. Don’t misunderstand that this means allowing anger to control your life. What you are controlling is THEIR ANGER…whether THEY LIKE IT OR NOT. It is a matter of being the willow instead of the Oak. The willow bends (turns the other cheek) but remains firmly rooted where it is.
Saint Therese of Lissieux was a Carlmelite nun. She once described the process she had to go through in trying to love some the other nuns who mistreated her."

"I saw I didn’t love them as God loves them. Ah! I understand now that charity consists in bearing with the faults of others, in not being surprised at their weakness, in being edified by the smallest acts of virtue we see them practice."

- Saint Therese of Lissieux
"The Story of a Soul"

Live the dream.

2007-02-02T10:20:00.000-06:00

Today I bring you an excerpt from a book I wrote for the convent. The essay is titled "live the dream." Dreams change, and as we go through life, if we still dream, the world at large tries to beat those dreams out of us - - but when it comes to dreams of peace, harmony and dedication to God, by whatever we name we call God, it is important to continue to dream and reach for those dreams...

"Live the Dream…

In my own search for identity, I often realized I still had not found the whole answer. For that matter, I felt that I still had not clearly defined the problem. I began to realize that I had internalized what others around me wanted me to be and what they thought of me. This began to drive me away from the very quality of life for which I had been searching. My concern over what others expected of my life had kept me from my dreams. In fact, I had stopped dreaming all together.

So often we all do this with our lives. We reach the point where we lose our dreams. As children we all dream. We dream of "What we want to be when we grow up." We dream of what we want our life to be. We dream of who we will be. Dreams are part of the lives of children. All too often, as we reach adulthood, we lose sight of these dreams. Our main concerns become keeping the bills paid and the stress of the workplace. We sometimes forget to dream of anything but how things will be when we get the next promotion. We live in a society that encourages these attitudes. Our focus is short sighted. We do not think of things in terms of the more distant future. As Elder Blackwolf taught me, the way of Native Americans is to think in terms of what ones actions will have on the future of the next seven generations of children.

But dreaming does not just mean remembering the dreams of childhood. It does mean remembering to dream as we did when we were children. Dreams change. I no longer want to "be what I wanted to be when I grow up" even though I still have interests in these areas. When I was young I wanted to be an Oceanographer, "like Jacques Cousteu." I think it is a telling comment on our society that their where no female scientists I was taught about to hold up as heroes. When I did dream again, I found myself following the dreams I used to have. Perhaps this was sometimes done out of habit. I had to "smoke on it," as Elder Blackwolf would say, with the Chanupa…in other words pray and meditate about it.

I found myself afraid to dream for fear that someone would try and keep me from my dreams. I also found myself afraid to dream for fear that I could never accomplish my dreams. However, does the runner believe that the race is not worth running simply because she does not win the race each time? Is, instead, the worth of the race in the trying?

Sometimes larger dreams affect our lives. These are often the dreams of great men and women. Men like Doctor Martin Luther King dreamed of a better world. We still do not live in this world. Does this mean that his dream was not worth while? Certainly not. However, even great men such as Nicholas Black Elk despaired over this issue. He began to become discouraged because he had not seen his dream/vision accomplished. Yet after his death, generations that have gone on after him have begun to see his dreams of unity made reality. No matter how unlikely it may seem to accomplish the dreams such as those of Dr. Martin Luther King, if we hold these dreams in front of us, we can begin to see ourselves as part of the solution, rather then as part of the problem. We must learn to dream again and always hold the dream in front of us"

God Bless you all,

Sister Julie

Letter from a friend

2007-02-01T06:09:00.000-06:00

No. I am not feeling bad today. But on a day when I was - - when I really needed a friend who could identify, I recieved a letter from a friend -- this letter. The letter is part of a book I Mother Superior asked me to write about my life called "Congratulations your child is a boy and a girl." But just because I am not feeling bad today doesn't mean I might not tommorow or someone else out there who reads this is feeling bad about themselves today. So here is the letter (used in my book by permission) from a friend...

Hi Julie,
Please don't feel badly because a few people dislike you. Like you, I am also a sensitive person and want people to like me, but it's unrealistic to expect everybody to like you. That just doesn't happen. People don't like me because I'm:
female,
black,

not black enough,
have light skin,
have dark skin,
have short hair,
have long hair,
wear make-up,
wear modest clothes,
wear revealing clothes,
wear clothes,
Buddhist,
not a "real" Buddhist
not Christian,
not Muslim,
not Jewish,
not "born again",
American,
not a "real" American,
divorced,
educated,
under-educated,
not prejudiced,
Democrat,
dated White guys,
dated Black guys,
dated Hispanic guys,
dated Asian guys,
dated guys,
from the West Side
don't live on the West Side,
don't live on the South Side,
live in the city,
don't live in the city,
work for the government,
work in a white collar job,
work,
independent,
able to think for myself,
overweight,
socialize with friends,
don't socialize with the right friends,
attractive,
unattractive,
square,
hip,
nerdy,
brainy,
cool,
uncool,
wear fur,
don't eat red meat,
have food to eat,
over 21,
over 40,
over 50,
over the hill,
yada yada yada

Now, given this long list of horrendous faults, can you imagine how much time I spend worrying about it? NONE AT ALL! The folks who dislike me don't pay my rent and don't sleep in my bed; therefore, they can individually and collectively go jump in the lake.
You cannot change how others perceive you. Don't forget that if people dislike you, that is THEIR problem, not yours!!!!

During the 1950's before the Civil Rights movement, some black people thought they would be accepted (liked) if they changed how others viewed them. They moved to the suburbs, bought foreign cars, got little French poodles, learned to play golf, listened to classical music, sent their kids to finishing school, stopped eating soul food, accumulated stock portfolios, and distanced themselves from their roots. So what happened next? NOBODY liked them! White folks called them "uppity n------s" and black folks called them "saditty n-----s". (If you're not familiar with the term "saditty", it's black slang for arrogant, bourgeois, stuck-up, phony, and pretentious.) Perhaps a better route would have been to focus on just being themselves, which came along a generation later.

It's human nature to focus on the negative. We quickly forget the multitudes of polite people who say "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" "have a nice day" and smile at us every day, but we will always remember the one rude boor who snarled at us in 1978. Try to activate your Buddha nature by understanding (1) the boor's behavior is because he feels badly and needs someone to dump on, (2) saying a prayer for the boor's happiness, and (3) appreciate the kind people who outnumber the boor a million to one.

As I mentioned earlier, there are over three billion people on the planet, so the few who dislike you are in an infinitesimally tiny minority. I tried figuring out the percentage of 100 people who have an attitude versus 3 billion who don't, but the calculator went into "overflow" mode. In other words, this shiny whiz-bang computer was incapable of computing numbers that small!
Everyone wants to be liked, but everyone is not going to be liked by everyone. It's sad but true, and you should not waste any energy feeling badly because someone else has their head up their rear end. Enjoy the beauty of the whole garden instead of crying because one tiny petal on one tiny blossom on one tiny plant is shriveled.

So what would you do?

2007-01-29T12:49:00.000-06:00

So what would you do?

What would you do if you had been me? The situation is this – I was trained as a minister of care for a local Catholic church. For those of you who may not know what a “minister of care” does, simply put, they bring communion to those to sick to come to church. In my case I brought communion to a local nursing home. Each Sunday I would go, and do a small service with Mother Superior before distribution communion. Not long after a situation arose where the lay individual called me up to tell me that the church did not want “people like me” (and by this she mean someone who had once been a hermaphrodite) bringing communion – as if there were somehow something wrong with me. If this were not bad enough, the Sunday before this occurred, the head priest gave me a big hug and told me “If they reject you they reject the church.” (here he used the name of the church which I will not).

These are the same people who told me that I should not give communion to someone who is not Catholic, even if they ask for it – what would you do in that case? As for me, I was not about to deny communion to another human being to sought it and usually desperately needed it.

So I had been rejected as being unworthy of bringing communion to the sick because of how I look. Nothing more.

What would you do?

Would you forgive them? Christ said, “love one another as I have loved you” -- even if they fail the “God’s little dipstick test” (a reference to an earlier column I did).

But here is the big question…

Would you go back to the same church later? I didn’t – not at first. After all, this isn’t football. If someone treats me like I am a “thing” not even human, nothing says I have to put myself up against the same people for more hurt in the second half.

That was all before I was before a nun.

Things change. Years later, for whatever reason her reason may be, Mother Superior went back to the same church to sing in the choir. I don’t know what her reasons are, you would have to ask her. Did it bother me to go back to the same place where they treated me like a thing?

You bet – it cut like a razorblade with salt rubbed in to the wound.

Did I go with Mother Superior to hear her sing?

Yes. But here is the change. Then I was not a nun, now I am. I went back just to hear Mother Superior sing. Normally I go to a Carmellite convent for services. Did I get any of the looks as if someone had on their mind “why does this nun have a dead baby hanging out of her mouth?’ Sure.

Is there a lesson here? Certainly. But like the cartoon with Linus building a
Sandcastle on a beach – that soon gets washed away – “There is a lesson to be learned here somewhere but I don’t quite know what it is.”

Does it mean when someone goes out of their way to hurt you that you have to not only forgive them but give them the opportunity to do it again?

I don’t know.

Military invents a menopause ray...

2007-01-25T08:45:00.000-06:00

The United States Air force has invited a menopause ray - yes, that’s right - a menopause ray. In an Associated Press Article in this morning’s paper entitled “It doesn’t fit under your belt, but it’s a ray gun nonetheless” the following was announced…

“The military calls its new weapon an ‘active denial system,' but that’s an understatement. It’s a ray gun that shoots a beam that makes people feel as if they are about to catch fire. Apart from causing that terrifying sensation, the technology is supposed to be harmless -- a non-lethal way to get enemies to drop their weapons.”

First - I applaud the United States Air Force in it’s efforts to NOT take human lives.

Second, now more people will know how menopausal women feel - as if we are about to catch fire. Yes, the military has invented a menopause ray. All around the world male soldiers may one day understand exactly how a menopausal woman feels. The military has also accomplished something that a woman’s body is incapable of doing - having a hot flash on command. As any menopausal woman knows - it would be great if one could control the hot flashes. How convenient it would be if a menopausal woman who is cold could simply have a hot flash on command to warm her up. I am not saying that I have not had hot flashes in the dead of winter. Many is the time I have been driving down the street in January with my coat off and all of the windows rolled down. But to be able to control that hot flash? Now the military has managed to accomplish just that.

So I applaud the military in their invention of a non-lethal weapon. When a young male soldier suddenly feels like a woman in her fifties having a hot flash, the world will be a better place.

God Bless you all

Sister Julie

Make me one with everything...

2007-01-23T16:43:00.000-06:00

I am sure you have all heard the old joke about the Buddhist who talks to the hotdog vendor and says “Make me one with everything.” Buddhists talk about being “one with the Eternal Buddha.” Christians talk about being “one with God.” St. Paul wrote this, one of my favorite passages…

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 NIV

The Good News version of this quote may shed a bit more light on the subject:

“so that it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. This life that I live now, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave his life for me. “

But what does it mean to be one with God (by whatever name you call God)? Does it mean giving up who we are? Does it mean giving up our desires or following the path God sets for our lives? What does it mean and how do we accomplish it?

Some may have heard of St. Teresa of Avila and her work “The Interior Castle” of which I have spoke before. In this book she speaks of a spiritual union with God. She speaks of it in terms of being accomplished through prayer, meditation, and mostly through the grace of God.

Here, then, are some quotes to think about that discuss this subject:

“The drama of contemporary culture is the lack of interiority, the absence of contemplation. Without interiority culture has no content; it is like a body that has not yet found it’s soul. What can humanity do without interiority? Unfortunately7, we know the answer very well. When the contemplative spirit is missing, life is not protected and all that is human is denigrated. Without interiority, modern man p0uts his own integrity at risk.” – Pope John Paul II (Madrid, May 3, 2003)

♥

“On Mount Horeb when God spoke to Elijah, God ‘was not in the wind, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire, but in the still, small voice, like the whisper of a gentle breeze.’ (1 Kings 19:11-13)’” –James McCaffrey, Fire of Love

♥

“Meditation – thinking deeply within, about a Bible Passage, a scene of Jesus or Mary or a saint, or even about a doctrine (Heaven, grace) of our faith, and then, thanking God for the graces received in the meditation, and thereby forming affections and sentiments (spiritual glues) to Him…the contemplative life, will help us spiritually…St. Paul says, “But all of us, with faces unveiled, reflecting as ina mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into His very image, from glory to glory (2 Cor. 3:18) St. Paul implies that the life of interiority, prayer , conscious and deeper union with God will change us into God’s image and likeness more: precisely because it is God who is changing us. Therefore we will want to pray more, to meditate on His goodness and inner life…” – Why Prayer, Meditation and Contemplation?

♥

“ Approach God with the humility of a small child yearning for her mother – approach Him with the pure heart of a child.” – Therese

“What joy to remember that our Lord is just; that He makes allowances for all short comings, and knows full well how weak we are. What have I to fear then? Surely the God of infinite justice who pardons the prodigal sone with such mercy will be just with me, who am always with him?” – Therese

“Their agitation and all their requests have so tired out the Good Master that He is only too glad to enjoy the rest I offer Him.” – Therese

Spitting into the wind...

2007-01-22T11:05:00.000-06:00

When grandfather was still live, he had a habit that backfired for my mother one day when she tried to imitate it. Granddad had a habit of spitting, but the only time he did so was when he was driving. He would roll down the window of his car and spit out the window. Then came the day my mother tried to imitate the same habit. She rolled down the window and promptly forgot the old adage “don’t spit into the wind.” She spit out the window, into the wind, and the spit flew back and hit her right in the face.

That is what false pride is like – spitting in our own faces. That is also what today’s column is about.

It is one thing for someone like George W. to play God with other people’s lives. It is another for some to think they ARE God. Yet that is what has happened. I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked. After all we live in a world where this has certainly happened before. It is just that it has never happened in a manner that it directly affected my life. But like the song said…

“Woop there it is…”

Oh no, it didn’t happen all at once to be sure. It happened slowly and insidiously. First, for those of you out there who may not quite understand what a saint is, let me offer a brief explanation. In the Catholic sense of the word, a saint is a special Heavenly being that serves God. You have heard of them I am sure – St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Teresa of Avila are two I have written about in this column. When someone prays and asks a saint for help, it is not a matter or worshiping that saint. It is just a matter of asking that heavenly being for their intercession. One day someone walked up to me in the hallway at work and, seeing the rosary I had, said, “You don’t pray to Mary do you? She’s dead.” My reply was simply, that was the point. She is dead. Who better to ask to bring something to God’s attention than someone who can simply lean across the dinner table and say “Son, let me bring something to your attention.” An important point here is that no one EVER expects the saint to take the place of God, or stand between mankind and God. Think of it as nothing more than putting an octane booster in one’s prayer gas tank.

When I became a Buddhist I learned a lot about embracement – about celebrating other people’s path to God – about understanding there are many different paths to God. I learned about myself. I learned about prayer and meditation. Without an understanding of Buddhism, I never would have been able to understand the work on prayer by Teresa of Avila called “Interior Castle.” It is Buddhism that allowed me to understand it.

But in this case the silver cloud had a black lining in its future.

The founders of the Buddhist order or “church” (as I will call it through the remainder of the article) I belong to lived and died for embracement – acceptance of everyone’s path to God. But now that they have died, and their daughter has elevated to the position of head of the church, that embracement has eroded. It has changed so much that as a matter of dogma, the Buddhist church will NOT permit it’s members to pray directly to God. In a faith once based on embracement and acceptance, its members became required to pray to the founders of the church, now dead and considered the Buddhist equivalent of saints. It reached the point where members where told that if they did not pray to these individuals that God would not hear their prayers.

There is a difference between asking for someone’s help and putting yourself between mankind and God.

It reached the point where the focus of the church no longer became God, instead it became the “sainted” parents of the head of the church. In other words, it slowly became about ancestor worship – about worshiping someone else’s ancestors.

But this last weekend the other shoe dropped – and dear readers it is ONE BIG SHOE – say about size one million and a half.

The head of the Buddhist church to which I once belonged had announced over this last weekend, all over the world in a sermon that was taped and broadcast, that she is to be worshipped as a Buddha.

This, my friends is the zenith of false pride. It is the very pinnacle of lack of humility and it goes against everything that the Buddha taught. Someone who is truly saintly in their behavior will be the first one to say they are not. Marie of the Trinity, a novice of St. Therese of Lisieux, once came to Therese and fell down on her knees in front of the soon to be saint. “You are a saint,” she told Therese, “and one day people will pray, asking for your help.” Therese’s reaction was simple and immediate – she laughed. She told Marie to get up off her knees, quit being such a child and to quit making fun of her (Marie of the Trinity, however was serious).

But now this particular Buddhist church has asked its members to worship the head of the church as a Buddha.

My reply is also simply and immediate. Yes, there are many paths up the mountain, but they all lead to the summit. WHAT I EXPECT TO FIND WHEN I REACH THE SUMMIT IS GOD.

Not the long dead parents who founded the order…

And certainly not the current head of the church, a Japanese woman who is very much alive…

Some one who substitutes themselves for God not only spits in their own face, she spits in the faces of every member of the church, and shames her mother who lived and died to embrace everyone’s path to God.

The Sisters of Embracement will continue to embrace and celebrate (not just accept) everyone’s path to God – no matter what that path may be.

My prayer will continue to be the same as St. Francis of Assisi -that prayer will be prayed directly to the Lord God almighty….

“MY GOD AND MY ALL”

Apologies and Updates

2007-01-22T09:15:00.000-06:00

Apologies first dear readers, for not keeping the site updated every day as promised. Things have been a bit busy around the convent lately and one of the events I am writing about a bit later this morning. Next, for anyone who may be an animal lover out there, an update on the Brave Bunny of which I wrote. Brave Bunny is being fitted for a wheelchair. Mother Superior is making him a tiny little scooter. It has been built and needs to be modified to fit him properly. Some bunnies have the run of the house – Brave Bunny did not. Now that he is a handicapped bunny (and teaching others about the value of life) he is getting more attention than ever – and when his wheelchair works properly he will be free to wheel about the top floor of the convent as he chooses. (he has already done a bit of wheeling about the kitchen).

As to one of the troubling events that occurred over the weekend, I will post it a bit later this morning. In brief, it is one thing for someone like George W. to play god with others people lives. It is a whole other thing for someone to think they ARE God. That scary event is what I will be writing about today. See you later this morning.

Sister Julie

Brave Bunny

2007-01-19T11:24:00.000-06:00

Brave Bunny…

This is the story of a brave bunny and a tiny little miracle. Some time ago I received a rabbit for a birthday gift from my Mother Superior. She knew that I had two other rabbits in my life, one recently, both of whom were taken away. This particular bunny came to us when he was young. He sleeps each night on my bed with the convent’s two dogs (It’s a good thing it is a good sized bed or there wouldn’t be room for me.) Like others, I too wonder at times, why bad things happen to small lives that don’t deserve them. If I had all the answers I would be enlightened and wouldn’t be here on this earth any more. But sometimes I can see a lesson in events….

Yes, we can and must call upon God and His angels to protect us. He will be there to protect us - It all depends on our faith and the depth of our love and compassion which dictates how harmful or not the evil will be. If our love, faith, and compassion are great; then we will have much effect on the evil. But what of small lives, little ones who can’t pray for themselves? Well, you don’t give up on a life, even if it is a little broken.

All life is precious.

God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts. Mother Mary told us this at Medjugorgie. The Blessed Teresa taught it when she was alive. Here are her words:

“Talk to God.
Just let Jesus pray in you.
To be able to pray we need silence –
Because God speaks to us in the silence of the heart,
And we reply in the fullness of our heart-
These two together make prayer.
The fruit of prayer is always deepening of faith,
It has to transform itself into love.”

Last night I was up very late, or very early in the morning, depending on how you look at it. I was sitting at the table in my room reading, and all was silent. From behind me I heard my rabbit, who was asleep on the bed, start to tear around the bed, hopping wildly and screaming. I ran to the bed and picked up my rabbit. Mother Superior ran into the room in a flash. A short while later found Mother Superior examining my rabbit and me crying loudly – my rabbit was paralyzed. He couldn’t move his back legs. “How can this happen to an innocent life? Doesn’t God care about rabbits?” I asked.

Sometimes events happen to make other events happen. It is called “dependant origination.”

So here is the answer to my prayer, from the silence of my heart.

God speaks to a small bunny. Don’t think God speaks to animals? St. Francis of Assisi would disagree with you.

“Little one, will you be willing to serve me with you life?”

The small bunny agrees without question.

“When you are born, God explains to the bunny, you will be born into a body that will one day cause you pain. Eventually your back legs will not work properly.”

The bunny, being innocent and pure, as animals are. Obeys without question. Although the bunny didn’t ask God why he would ask such a thing, God explains it to the bunny anyway.

“The woman that will care for you, will be a nun. She, and others like her, will need to be reminded of lessons I have taught her, and those who came before her – you don’t give up on a life, even if it is a little broken, for all life is precious to me.”

I went to sleep that night with a rabbit that couldn’t move his back legs. I prayed my way to sleep last night. I asked God to heal my rabbit. I held the bunny in my arms and told him I would never give up on him, even if he couldn’t ever move his back legs.

This morning when I called the convent from work, I asked Mother Superior how my rabbit was. To her amazement, and mine, the bunny could now hop! Perhaps not as well as before, but he could hop – leaving a lesson, and providing me a chance to live it.

And here is that lesson from my childhood…

I was raised by a handicapped mother, who was born with cerebral palsy. When she was a child, mom was unable to walk. She needed braces up to her hips even to be able to stand. At this point in her life, my grandmother was raising mom on her own – she had been married to a very violent man. As a result grandmother had to work, while someone came over to watch mom. Even today, people tend to look down on someone who is handicapped, as if they are somehow less of a person. Children can be especially cruel when it comes to such behavior. As a result mom had no friends as a little girl. One day, out of the blue as they say, the neighbor girl came over and asked to play with mom while grandmother was away. She and mom played “dollies” – until the woman watching mom was out of sight for a bit. Then the little girl from next door locked my mother’s braces so she couldn’t stand up and stole all her dollies.

Mom lost a friend, she never had in the first place. She did get her dollies back. But what she had instead of friend in the girl next door was a loving mother who never gave up on a handicapped child. Grandmother paid for thirteen operations for my mother during the depression. As a result my mother not only could remove the braces but she could walk on her own. Grandmother didn’t give up there. She instilled in her daughter the importance of a good education; something that mom passed along to her daughters. As a result of grandmother not giving up on a life that was a little broken, mom could walk again, got a college education, got married and gave birth to a child who would one day be a nun – me.

All life is precious. You never give up on a life, even if it is a little broken, no matter how small that life is.

God Bless you all,

Sister Juliemarie

George W. Bush - is there hope?

2007-01-18T10:17:00.000-06:00

Bush…is there hope yet?

I thought so when I read the headline of the Associated Press article in yesterdays newspaper here at the convent…”Bush criticizes Iraqi hangings.”

Maybe George W. has seen the light.

I was wrong. The article quotes George W. as saying, “I was disappointed and felt like they fumbled the – particularly the Saddam Hussein execution.” The quote is from a PBS interview with Jim Lehrer. The article points out, “In his toughest assessment yet, Bush criticized the circumstances of Saddam’s hanging last month, as well as Monday’s execution of two top aides, including Saddam’s half brother.”

George W. isn’t upset that the leader of a foreign country, that he forcible removed from power, has been executed. HE IS JUST UPSET THAT THEY DIDN’T DO A BETTER JOB. Perhaps this is to be expected when we look at some of the statistics of people executed in his home state of Texas. As of yesterday, since 1976, more people have been executed in Texas than any other state – nearly 18 times more than the average of all the other states that have allowed capital punishment. In that time Texas executed 381 people, compared to the next leading state, Virginia, which executed 98.
(source:http://people.smu.edu/rhalperi/texascounty.html)

Think for a moment, what has gone on in Iraq. The United States of America, as ordered by George W. Bush, invaded another country and removed that country's leader from power. What would happen if another country invaded the United State, removed the President of the United States from power, and put him in jail – and then executed him?

In an earlier article I spoke about a comedian from the “Blue Collar Comedy Tour.” One of the comedians was from Texas. He joked that Texas is speeding time spent on death row for capital punishment where there was three or more credible witnesses. The comedian joked, “some states are abolishing capital punishment, mine is putting in an express lane.”

How incredibly sad.

Has it reached the point in humanities regression, where the death of another human being is considered funny? We aren’t talking about a play or movie, but the death of another human being. How is this funny? When the death of another human being is funny we have not only regressed as a culture – I am surprised that we still manage to walk upright.

God Bless You All,

Sister Juliemarie

It's Just Wrong...

2007-01-16T11:38:00.000-06:00

Its just not right…

Decapitated. Today the headlines shout of the execution by hanging of Sadam Husein’s half brother. When he was hung, we are told that his body was decapitated. This is just not right.

I struggled with the issue for quite some time. Many people have. The issue is capital punishment – the right that any given government body feels that they have to impose the punishment of death for particular crimes. There are times when we see acts that are so loathsome that we may temped to feel like we want to pull the switch, drop the floor on the gallows, or inject the needle ourselves. The headlines are filled with such incidents; such as unborn children being cut from their mother’s wombs. It is easy to point to the commandment in the old testament “You shall not kill.” Still some may point to books of the old testament where we are told that the Nation of Israel was led to victories in warfare by God.

First, consider the last two words in the last sentence – by God. Also consider how Christ told us to love those who hate us. To love one another as God loves us. As a Buddhist I have been taught that all life is precious. What then would make anyone feel they have the right to take the life of another human being?

While you are considering that, hold another event in your mind. That event is the death of a 10 year old child by hanging. How are they connected? The following event was reported in an Associated Press Article, here is an excerpt:

“Cairo, Egypt – The boys’ deaths – scattered in the United States, in Yemen, in Turkey and elsewhere in seemingly isolated horror – had one thing in common: they hanged themselves after watching televised images of Saddam Hussein’s execution.”

It goes on to tell of a particular death…

“A day after Saddam’s execution, a 10-year old boy in Texas hanged himself from a bunk bead after watching a news report on the execution.”

As tragic as this death of a young man is, it can teach us an important lesson. Imagine being the boys father or mother, coming in to the boy’s bedroom to talk to their son, only to find him hanging from the bedpost – dead. Fix that image firmly in your mind. Remember the horror of that death, and think of it the next time you consider whether it is right or not for one human being to take the life of another. The horror of death. Not pretend death in the movies. Real death.

That is just not right…

Yesterday I did a column about how George W. Bush has decided to send troops to Iraq to kill more people. He has decided whether we like it or not. Well Mr. Bush, I have a “whether you like it or not” for you.

Killing is wrong. Whether YOU like it or not. It is too easy to sit in an office in Washington D.C. and sent thousands of people to their deaths, civilians and military alike. George W. isn’t risking HIS life. So when you think of the thousands of troops sent to Iraq, and all of the resulting thousands of deaths, think of that young 10 year old boy dangling from his bedpost – dead. Remember the horror.

George W. hasn’t got the right to play God – whether HE likes it or not.

I can’t stop him. Maybe the congress can. He doesn’t have to worry about re-election. It is a great tragedy of our government that ONE MAN has the power to cause so many deaths. But one day, that same God he seems to think he is praying to that tells him it is ok to kill other human beings, will look George W. in the face. And God will tell him…

It is just not right.

So George W., I have made my decision as well. You have made yours. And you can quote me on that, in any of your reports. That’s “Sister Juliemarie” no hyphen.

God Bless You All,

Sister Juliemarie

The First American Dictator - George W. Bush

2007-01-15T09:14:00.000-06:00

The First American Dictator…

That is what George W. Bush has become. For a fleeting moment I considered calling today’s column “Seig Heil” but I thought was too much…so far. This morning the newspaper’s headlines screams the words of the President of the United States, “I’ve made my decision.” According to George Bush he has made his decision and that is just it - whether the Congress, The American People, the World and God like it or not. Yes I said God. Remember back when the war started? George W. Bush said he prays to God every day about the war and what to do. He must not be listening too hard. Either that or he is praying to some God I am not aware of. No God that I know of tells people to kill each other.

Yet that is just what George W. is doing. The quote from today’s paper, an Associated Press article, is this:

“Washington- Digging in for confrontation, President Bush and Vice President dick Cheney say they will not budge from sending more U.S. troops to Iraq no matter how much Congress opposes it.”

Meanwhile the Congress, God Bless their collective hearts, is trying to stop this madness by cutting off George Bush’s war efforts at the pockets. The same article quotes Senator Barack Obama of Illinois as saying, “We need to look at what options we have available to constrain the president.”

It’s a good thing Senator Obama is senator. He shows remarkable restrained in simply using the word “restrain.”

Think about what has happened. George Bush has invaded a foreign country, over non-existent weapons of mass destruction, a country that had nothing to do with the tragic events of 9-11, captured their leader, and now the same leader has been put to death.

This sounds dangerously close to war crimes of our own to me.

And on the home front, the vice president seems to have lost his mind as well. Another associated press article quotes the vice president as saying the following:

“Washington - Vice President Dick Cheney said Sunday the Pentagon and CIA are not violating rights by examining the banking and credit records of hundreds of Americans and others suspected of terrorism or espionage.”

Lets look at one of the important phrases there….

“AND OTHERS”

So just who are the people who’s banking records they are examining who ARE NOT suspected of terrorism or espionage? Anyone who doesn’t agree with him? Anyone who doesn’t want any more people to die in Iraq? Anyone who doesn’t want an American President to dictate who will run the worlds nations and how?

…or maybe nuns and convents who have seen enough death.

Signed,

A nun who is also a veteran of the United States Army
Sister Julie Marie

Words of Wisdom...

2007-01-14T21:34:00.000-06:00

Today I offer you some words of wisdom from Therese of Lisieux. Therese are some of the things that she taught her sisters in the last months that she was alive. They are from the prayerbook that I have been assembling for the convent.

On always seeing the good side of things..."I always see the good side of things. There are some who set about giving themselves the most trouble. for me, it's just the opposite. If I have nothing but pure suffering, if the heavens are so black that I see no break in the clouds, well, I make this my joy! I revel in it! I did this during Papa's trials which made me more glorious than a queen"

On not seeing 'signs'...said to Celine
"Don't be astonished if I don't appear to you after my death, and if you see nothing extraordinary as a sign of my happiness. You will remember that it's 'my little way' not to desire to see anything. You know well what I've said so often to God, to the angels, and to the saints: My desire is not to seem them here on earth."

On going to purgatory...
"I don't know whether I'll go to purgatory or not, but I'm not in the least bit disturbed about it; however, if I do go there, I'll not regret having done nothing to avoid it. I shall not be sorry for having worked solely for the salvation of souls. How happy I was to learn that holy Mother, St. Teresa, thought the same way!"

On going to Heaven to be with Therese...(said to Marie of the Trinity when Marie asked Therese to remember her in Heaven)
"Very soon you will come with me; it won't be long, you'll see! Thus far you've only seen the shell; soon you'll see the little chick."

On trials and suffering...
"I'm reminded of a piece of cloth stretched over a frame to be embroidered; then nobody shows up to embroider it! I wait and wait! It's useless!...However, this isn't really surprising since little children don't know what they want! I'm saying this because I am thinking of little Jesus; He is the one who stretched me over a frame of sufferings in order to have the pleasure of embroidering me; then He loosens me so that He can go up to Heaven and show them His beautiful work."

The Staircase

2007-01-12T06:51:00.000-06:00

There is a story that our dear Sister Therese of the Holy Face and Child Jesus used to tell. It was a story about a staircase - an analogy if you will. It went far to explain what was really the heart of "The Little Way" that she taught and asked to have passed on. Christ told us to "be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect" but THAT my friends is one tall order. Therese explained it this way. She described it as climbing the staircase to perfection with Jesus at the top. She realized how hard, and nearly impossible that climb would be. I will let Therese herself tell you the rest...

"You make me think of the very little child who starts to hold herself up but does not yet know how to walk," she said to me. "Wanting absolutely to climb to the top of the stairs to find her mother again, she lifts her little foot to finally climb the first step. Useless labor! She always falls without making any advance. Okay! Consent to be this little child. Through practicing all the virtues, keep lifting up your little foot in order to clamber up the stairs of holiness. You will not even get to the first fun, but God asks nothing of you except your good will. From the top of the stairs he looks down at you with love "Soon, won over by your ineffective efforts, he will come down Himself and, taking you in His arms, He will take you away into His kingdom forever, where you will never have to depart from Him. but if you give up lifting your little foot, He will leave you an earth for a very long time."

"Then the happy day will come when Jesus Himself will come down to carry you away in His arms,will you be more advanced by having clambered up five or six steps by your own strength? Is it more difficult for Jesus to take you from the bottom rather than from the middle of the stairs? There is yet another advantage for you not being able to climb the stairs: that is, to remain your whole life in humility, whereas if your own efforts were crowned by success you would not get any compassion from Jesus. he would let you climb up all by yourself and He would have to fear all the time lest you fall, because of your self-complacency."

God Bless you all,

Sister Julie

Pursuit of Happiness

2007-01-11T15:03:00.000-06:00

Purfuit of Happiness…(in honor of Stan Freberg…see the current “Big Salute”)

Last night was one of the rare occasions that Mother Superior and I can actually get out of the convent at the same time. Most of the times our duties mean one or the others of us has to be in the convent 24-7. We took the opportunity to go see a movie called “Pursuit of Happiness” starring Will Smith and his real son Jaden.

Will Smith is certainly a versatile entertainer. He has done everything from rap, to comedy to serious acting. This time it is serious acting and he is good in the roll – to good in fact. If you are in need of a movie to lift your spirits, this isn’t the movie for you. It doesn’t lift your spirits until about the last five minutes of the movie. If on the other hand you are in the mood for a movie that will grateful for your life if you are living just about anywhere but in a box under a bridge, then this is DEFINITELY, a movie for you.

You thought YOU had a tough life?

…and I thought I had a tough life. This movie, based on the life of a real person, is about a man whose life was so tough I wanted to hang myself half way through the movie. Rest assured however, the movie does end up “happily ever after.” One of the more poignant parts of the film is where the main character points out that in the declaration of independence, Thomas Jefferson only wrote the everyone has a right to the PURSUIT of happiness. Finding it, as we almost all know, is quite another matter.

Will Smith’s character (Chris Gardner) is a salesman that is so down on his luck he ends up giving new meaning to the phrase “Death of a Salesman.” In trying to make a good life for himself and his son, he even ends up homeless at one point. He goes from humiliation to humiliation in pursuit of happiness for he and his son.

Our dear sister Therese once said that the occasional humiliation is good for us, as it reminds us of our nothingness before God. Here is the advice that Therese gave to her dear sister Marie of the Trinity:

“If you are nothing, you must not forget that Jesus is all. so you must lose your little nothingness in his infinite all and think only of his uniquely lovable all…when we see ourselves so miserable, then we no longer wish to consider ourselves, and we look only on the unique Beloved!…Dear little Marie, I know no other means of reaching perfection but love, how well our heart is made for that.”

I won’t bore you with the many humiliations I have gone through in my life. Suffice it to say that there is a large difference between humility and humiliation. There is an even bigger difference between the occasional humiliation and living a life of humiliation.

The words of St. Paul, as he tells us what God tells us, sheds additional light on this subject:

“My [God’s] grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak: I am most happy then to be proud of my [St. Paul’s] weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak I am strong.”

God was certainly watching over Chris Gardner, even in his most difficult moments. Therese tells us the best way to get through the most difficult of times. That is simple. One word – Trust.

The Little Way was originally intended on being called the “Little Way of Trust” for that trust, which will in turn bring love, is the central aspect of The Little Way. Trust in God. Yes, it is easier said that done in difficult circumstances, but THAT, my friends, is what faith is all about.

As far as my own pursuit of happiness is concerned – well let me just reiterate that I would certainly have been voted “Least likely to become a nun” back in high school – but here I am.

In my case true happiness didn’t come until I stopped pursuing my path to happiness, and pursued God’s path for my life.

God Bless you all,

Sister Julie

This little light of mine...

2007-01-10T22:03:00.000-06:00

I remember a song from my childhood that had words in it, "this little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine." Our dear sister Therese had a story to tell about a little light that shared its light with others. This is that story...

On being a small light that lights other lights...

"sister marie of the Eucharist wanted to light the candles for a procession; she had no matches; however, seeing the little lamp which was burning in front of the relics, she approached it. Alas, it was half out; there remained only a feeble glimmer on its blackened wick. She succeeded in lighting her candle from it, and with this candle, she lighted those of the whole community. It was, therefore, the half extinguished little lamp which had produced all these beautiful flames which, in their turn, could produce an infinity of others and even light the whole universe. nevertheless, it would always be the little lamp which would be first cause of all this light. How could the beautiful flames boast of having produced this fire, when they themselves were lighted with such a small spark?"

"It is the same with the Communion of Saints. Very often, without our knowing it, the graces and lights that we receive are due to a hidden soul, for God wills that the saints communicate grace to each other through prayer with great love, with a love much greater than that of a family, and even the most perfect family on earth. How often have I thought that I may owe all the graces I've received to the prayers of a person who begged them from God for me, and whom I shall know only in Heaven."

"Yes, a very little spark will be capable of giving birth to great lights in the Church, like the Doctors and the Martyrs, who will undoubtedly be higher in heaven than the spark; but how could anyone think that their glory will not become his?"

"In Heaven, we shall not meet with indifferent glancers, because all the elect will discover that they owe to each other the graces that merited the crown for them."

God Bless you all,

Sister Julie

Dream On...

2007-01-09T09:40:00.000-06:00

Dream on…

The nation will soon celebrate the birthday of one of our nations greatest leaders…Dr. Martin Luther King. Perhaps he was never president, he may not have held any high political office, but he was a leader nonetheless. His dreams of peace, for which he died, still lead the ideals of a nation – a world – that has not yet achieved them. On August 28, 1963 he delivered his “I have a dream” speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. It is one of the single most moving speeches I have ever heard – and being a drama major in undergraduate school, I have heard A LOT of speeches. I have spoken of his dream before. Here are yet a few of the words from this amazing speech.

“I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American Dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal”

A bit later on is one of my favorite passages from this speech…

“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the Glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.”

Yet the same paper that features the full text of this moving speech, has some of the following headlines:

“Alderman busted – when the FBI came for Ald. Arenda Troutman early yesterday morning, she didn’t answer the door-so they broke a window to get in. The South Side alderman is charged with taking thousands of dollars in bribes.”

“Woman who killed husband gets 45 years”

“U.S. blasts targets in Somalia”

…and oddly enough, what didn’t make the headlines in the paper, was that George Bush intends to escalate America’s involvement in Iraq by sending more troops. We may not be living Dr. King’s dream, but we are certainly living a nightmare. Greed, corruption, and global violence are the words of the day.

There is a scene in the animated version of “The Hobbit” by JRR Tolkein two nations are camped on the doorstep of a third. The wood elves, the men and the dwarves are all arguing over money - Greed, plain and simple just like today. All of a sudden they are faced with mutual destruction by a common enemy – the orcs. Suddenly the former enemies are friends. The wood elves that were ready to kill the humans over money now say to them “Your people have always been like brothers unto mine.”

That’s were the similarity to today’s world stops. Yes we do have a common enemy. Want a good look at the enemy? Go find a mirror. To quote Walt Kelly’s “Pogo”

”I have met the enemy and it is us.”

No we are still not living Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream – but it is time to wake up and smell the roses.

God Bless you all,

Sister Julie

Full to the brim...

2007-01-08T10:13:00.000-06:00

Full to the Brim…

Towards the end of Therese’s life, when her suffering was at its worst, it was an expression that she used… “The cup is full to the brim.” The modern term that might be applied is to be at the end of one’s rope.

When Therese was young, as we all know, she went to Italy to speak to the pope himself to get permission to enter Carmel at the age of fifteen. The impression is sometimes that she never had any doubts. Yet, long before she knew here life was ending, she did have doubts. She had what St. John of the Cross called a “dark night of the soul.” For myself, there have been times in my life when I thought I heard the voice of God, calling me to His service. There have also been times when I was certain that God “had the wrong woman for the job.” It is easy for us to reach this point in our own lives; and not necessarily for religious reasons.

What do you do when you feel you have had enough?

I don’t mean when you are just “fed up” with things and go home and take a long hot bath, have a beer, watch a movie – whatever you do to “get away from it all.” I mean when you have gone way past that, for whatever reason, to the absolute and proverbial “it” the ultimate end. I mean something to make you feel, as Woody Allen once said, that his only regret in life was not having been born someone else.

What do you do?

I can tell you what Therese did and said.

What she did, was continue to have faith, even in her darkest moments. She realized that times like this are when she needed her faith the most. Marie of the Trinity tells us of some of these moments in Therese’s life:

“Three days before she died, I saw her in such pain that I was heartbroken. When I drew near to her bed, she tried to smile, and, in a strangled sort of voice, she said: ‘If I didn’t have faith, I could never bear such suffering.’”

Earlier in her life, Therese gave us these words as a solution:

“The more our heart is in Heaven, the less we feel pinpricks…for then our life is a martyrdom, and one day Jesus will give us the palm. To suffer and be despised…what bitterness but what glory.”

Therese new what it was like to be despised. In fact, even when it was known that she was dieing, even when she had reached the point where she was coughing up blood, there were still some sister in the convent that didn’t believe she was even sick. Still she had faith. What allowed her to have faith is one of the cornerstones of the Little Way – absolute trust. Therese had originally intended for the Little Way to be known as the Little Way of Trust. Why trust? Simple. In the words of Therese herself:

“It is trust and only trust that must lead us to Love.”

St. Paul put it this way:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”
- 1 Corinthians 13:13
God bless you all,

Sister Julie

True Charity...

2007-01-07T13:37:00.000-06:00

True Charity…

Yesterday I told you about what Therese considered true charity, fulfilling God’s New Commandment fully. She not only taught her novices about service to others, she taught them about gratitude.

One of the young novices, Marie of the Trinity, has a difficult time from the time she had been a postulant saying thank you for anything. Here is the advice Therese gave her young student…

“You must get used to letting your gratitude be seen, to say thank you with an open heart for the least little thing.” Therese told Marie of the Trinity, “This is the practice of Charity, to act this way; otherwise, it is indifference which, even if it is only exterior, freezes the heart and destroys the cordiality that is necessary in community.”

This is important for more than just the community the sisters lived in. It is important for one other community as well - the global community. What Therese was ultimately teaching her novices was not just to be of service to others but to be grateful while doing it.

Grateful?

You bet. Not just to help others with joy in your heart while doing it, but to be grateful for the opportunity as well. Remember when Our Dear Lord was on this earth he said, “Whatever you have done to the least of my brethren you have done also to me.” Think of it as the person you are helping giving you a chance to wait hand and foot on Jesus.

Yet, if Therese where here, she would tell you the same thing that the Dali Lama teaches.

For those of you who are not aware of it, there was a certain sister who seemed to irritate Therese in everything she did. Instead of getting upset and avoiding the person as many others would have done, Therese went out of her way to be nice to her the sister who irritated her so. She always greeted her with a smile. Not only that, she would present all of the nuns good qualities to God. What is the lesson here?

The lesson is the same one that the Dali Lama teaches. We should even be grateful to those people who anger and upset us. Believe me I have had plenty of people in my life who have done there best to make me feel my worst. Why would I be grateful to such an individual? For the same reason that both Christianity and Buddhism teach - it is important to be grateful for the opportunity to practice patience and love.

And that, my friends, is the Olympics of Christian Love.

God Bless You all.

Sister Julie

Make Yourself Available

2007-01-07T00:18:00.000-06:00

Make yourself available…

Mother superior has a wonderful little dog…well…not SO little. Like me, he too had been abandoned by his family at one point. Perhaps that is why when he came to the convent to live, he took so well to me. Birds of the feather, or at least, beings who had been abandoned, flock together. I guess he and I understand one another. And so we get along famously. It is a great relationship with one small problem. Every morning, rain or shine, winter or summer, day in and day out, no matter how many other people are here in our convent, he comes to MY room to get me to take him out every morning bright and early. And when his “bladder-larm” goes off before nuns wake up you KNOW that is early. Long before the sun ever gets up, this little dog gets up. I turn over when I feel him jump on the bed - open my eyes - to the sight of a very large, very wet dog nose about 2 inches from my face. His tail is wagging so hard, it is as if he is trying to embody the old “tail wagging the dog” adage.

At this point, if I may indulge in a bit of anthropomorphism for a moment, Mother Superior’s dog looks at me and says, “Ok. Time for a walk Sister. Your choice, in your bed or on the front lawn. Take your pick.” Now, I am not nuts and I am not Doctor Doolittle. He doesn’t actually talk to me. How do I know what he is thinking then? Simple. He has made good on said threat a number of times. There is nothing to launch you out of bed like a intercontinental ballistic missile like discovering a dog has used your blanket as a tree substitute.

At first , to say the least, I was not happy. As time went on, I allowed the little fella to depend on me, and I got a wonderful reward in return - unconditional love.

It seems, sometimes that God’s greatest commandment, though seemingly the most simple, is often the most difficult to fulfill - “Love one another as I have loved you.” Yet when our dear Sister Therese fulfilled God’s “New Commandment” she did so with joy in her heart.

One of the insights concerning this commandment, or charity as she often called it, was one that she taught to all over her novices. That is to make yourself available to people.

One of the great talents our dear sister had was painting. It was often that the other sisters would bring objects to Therese to decorate - and she always obliged them. She did so happily, even when they brought them to her at odd hours, during work hours, or all at once (as had happened when everyone got presents on a holiday). Even though some of the sisters would complain that Therese had done one better than the other, she still taught her novices this lesson…

“To make a service wait,” she said, “to promise it for later, means not to fulfill perfect charity.”

Before I became a nun, a sign hung over my desk for years. It read, “She who expects no gratitude shall not be disappointed.” Therese taught her novices this same lesson.

“When you work for God.” she said, “you don’t expect gratitude from a creature, and her reproaches can’t take away the souls peace.”

In other words, what she was teaching her novices, was that truly fulfilling Gods New Commandment means being of service to others. Interestingly enough, this is also one of the central lessons of Buddhism. During the day at Carmel, there would be a period called “Recreation” during which all of the sisters got together to share activities. What she taught her novices, was not to make sure they had fun during recreation, but rather to make sure all of the other sisters had fun at recreation. She taught them to do so with something very important in their heart…

Gratitude…

Which is what we will talk about tomorrow.

Do unto others...unless

2007-01-05T10:32:00.000-06:00

Do unto others unless…

It’s called “the golden rule.” Just about everyone has heard it. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you..” It turns out there are many versions of this same principle throughout the world. Christ put it this way, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12 niv). Here are some others I found at www.religoustolerance.org:

Buddhism: "...a state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?" Samyutta NIkaya v. 353

Confucianism: "Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.'" Doctrine of the Mean 13.3

Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you.” Mahabharata 5:1517

Islam: "None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam "Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths."

Lakota spirituality: "All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One." Black Elk

Socrates: "Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you." (Greece; 5th century BC)

21st Century United States:“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – unless it somehow affects your income, your lifestyle, your free time, or is otherwise inconvenient"

Never heard of the last one from 21st Century United States? Let me introduce it to you by example. There was an article in yesterdays Daily Herald entitled “Strangers in a strange land.” The article is about a shelter for children who have been found abandoned crossing into our nations boarders. These are children who have no home in a strange land – a land with something called “The Statue of Liberty” that has a famous poem by Emma Lazarus on it:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

This home for abandoned, homeless children is run by Heartland Human Care Services, Inc., a not for profit human rights agency, according to the article. The children range from infants to 17 years old. The average stay is from 60 to 90 days while their immigration status is determined. Good so far? Sure.

Until Heartland Human Care Services wanted to open a center in the suburbs of Naperville.

They propose to buy a four level house on 3.5 acres near Hobson Road and Route 53 to accommodate 30 Children. Now the people who live in the area are up in arms. Comments range from the “Why do they have to put them here?” type to the “I agree with what they are doing but just don’t do it here” type. An article in the same paper, the following day (today) contains the following: “About 70 people came to the hearing, many of whom opposed the plan and said they are concerned about property values and density.”

Property values?

Density?

I am not sure about lowered property values, but I can say one thing for sure…

…the density of the neighborhood has already gone up, but it has nothing to do with the number of people living in the area.

God Bless you all,

Sister Julie

Just Kill Me Now...

2007-01-04T09:39:00.000-06:00

The stockings are no longer hung by the chimney with care, the last Auld Lang Sung. The holidays are official over and it is time to go back to work…

…so just kill me now.

The common misconception, for those of you who don’t know me well, are that nuns only pray all day, and when they do work anywhere they are teachers. Oh contraire; times change. I work in bureaucracy every day, steeped snorkel deep in it. “Snorkel deep? I hear you ask. Yes. Have you ever seen someone say “I have had it up to here” as they bring their hand level with their throat? Many of you have probably made this gesture yourself. In my case make a fist. Extend your little finger and your thumb. Now hold your hand up next to your head as if you are breathing through your thumb. That is snorkel deep – already way over your head. Douglas Adams said it best…

“Bureaucracy is a parasite that preys on free thought and suffocates free spirit.”
- Douglas Adams

Now imagine being part of bureaucracy for 23 years. Mind you if you did anything for 23 years it would probably get old. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad to have the job and it certainly stands head and shoulders above many of the other jobs I have done. Some examples:

I have been an animal caretaker in a genetics lab. 1200 rabbits create A LOT of rabbit poop. It was, also, a genetics lab, so maybe that is what happened to me. But I doubt it.

I worked in a factory. Wow. That was like working in a dungeon. I burnt my eyes twice in that job.

I painted for a living, and I don’t mean canvases. I bagged groceries. I cleaned houses. I worked in a gas station when there was no such thing as “self-serve.” I even wore Olive Drab green to work every morning – when the United States Army says “We do more before 9:00 am then most people do all day” (remember that slogan) believe it. But in the end, it is the bureaucratic mindset that is tough to deal with for so incredibly long. I could write a book – well actually I have.

But all this gives me a chance to bring up a very good point about “The Little Way” – St. Therese’s way to heaven. I have spoken of it in these pages before. That is this: God doesn’t always need someone to perform great tasks. Not everyone is destined to part the Red Sea, stand up against the Roman Empire and become a martyr, or lead French armies against England. Sometimes God just needs someone to clean houses, take care of the elderly, and wipe the occasional butt. Whatever little thing you do, you can still dedicate it to the Glory of God. You can still serve God, by whatever name, in Little Ways. When the sky rolls back, and there sits the Son of Man in all His Divine Glory – you too will hear the words “though good and faithful servant,” even if what you did was help an elderly person wipe there butt, just so long as you did it with the joy of serving God in your heart.

God Bless you all

Sister Julie

*I have no idea where the little avatar at the head of today’s column came from, except to say “author unknown.”

Do we deserve our leaders?

2007-01-03T11:08:00.000-06:00

The headline in the local paper today reads THE BEST OF AMERICA. It is all about the funeral of the former president Gerald Ford. It is ironic that now that he is dead, he is considered as having been “The Best of America.” When he was alive, like all American presidents it seems, the media could not say enough bad things about him. I remember when Gerald Ford was learning to ski. Johnny Carson had this to say about that:

“Gerald Ford is learning to go down hill with the rest of the country”

Gerald Ford, as most people know, was never actually elected president - almost like another president - George W. Bush who actually LOST the first popular election but was elected president by the electoral college anyway. In case of Gerald Ford, he was appointed to be Vice President, after Richard Nixon’s first vice president, Spiro Agnew, was forced to resign. When Richard Nixon resigned, rather than be impeached and removed from office, Gerald Ford pardoned him. This prompted another Johnny Carson comment that was a popular sentiment at the time:

“I don’t know why everyone complains about Gerald Ford, after all, you voted for him.”

I realize all this may be going into a bit of a controversial territory, but at the risk of incurring the wrath of my readers, I will simply quote Mae West who once said people could say whatever they wanted about her as long as they spelled the name right.

Where this is all going, is another issue that has been debated here at the convent off and on. I also do not have an answer to this one, so feel free to chime in, in the comments section. That issue is this:

Do a people get the kind of leader they deserve?

A few leaders come to mind. The first one that leaps to mind is Mahatma Gandhi. The historylearningsite.co.uk site has this to say about Mahatma Gandhi:

“Gandhi encouraged Indians to boycott British goods and buy Indian goods instead. This helped to revitalize local economies in India and it also hit home at the British by undermining their economy in the country. Gandhi preached passive resistance, believing that acts of violence against the British only provoked a negative reaction whereas passive resistance provoked the British into doing something which invariably pushed more people into supporting the Indian National Congress movement.”

Ironically, the reason Mahatma Gandhi was killed was for the very reason our convent exists. Religious tolerance, or embracement if you will. He was killed in January 1948, . by a Hindu assassin that detested Mahatma Gandhi’s tolerance of Muslims. His death, like his life, ushered in an era of stability.

This brings to mind another national leader - Abraham Lincoln…
Abraham Lincoln, as it is commonly known, was the 16th president of the United States, during one of America’s most violent and bloody eras - the Civil War. Most people remember him as the author of the Emancipation Proclamation, the document that abolished slavery. Lincoln believed that the President of the United States could abolish slavery as a military necessity. This is exactly what he did, and it caused a war. Lincoln was not without his contentious issues. For example, on September 24, 1862, after suspending the Writ of Habeas Corpus in areas of the country, the administration made over 13,000 arrests (source: http://sc94.ameslab.gov/TOUR/alincoln.html) This is but one of other controversial issues. Lincoln too was assassinated for his views, by a man who blamed Lincoln for all of the ills that “the south” faced at the time. He was assassinated by a man named John Wilkes Booth, who, like his brother Edwin, was a noted Shakespearian actor at the time. (As a brief aside, this fact prompted one of my favorite lines by Burgess Meredith in any of his movies. In a movie where he plays a theatrical agent one of his lines is “Never forget, an actor killed Lincoln”)

But let us not forget the old adage, “one mans traitor is another mans patriot”

George Washington, the first president of the United States, as we all know, was one of the key figures in founding the United States of America. On July 3, 1776, he took command of an untrained 14,000 man army. Ultimately he lead America to victory over the British, and won the United States of America its freedom from Britain. Washington did not actually take office until April 30, 1789 when he helped shape a stable government. But George Washington was also a slave owner. Ironically while he thought that he deserved freedom, there were 184 slaves that worked at his Mount Vernon home. It is said that he did not work toward freedom of slaves because he thought the issue would tear a new nation apart. Yes, he did arrange for the freedom of his slaves, but only, as his will stipulated, after the death of his wife.

Let us consider then, another George - George W. Bush. Aside from the issues how he got elected, let us consider Americas attitude toward George shortly after what has become known as “9-11.” I remember that day simply staring at the live picture on the television as the second tower of the world trade center collapsed. My words were simply, “Oh my God. It’s gone. It just gone.”

American’s cried out for blood and George W. Bush gave it to them - by the bucket.

Since the war in Iraq began on March 19, 2003 3003 Americans have died, and 22,565 have been wounded (Source: http://www.antiwar.com/casualties) This doesn’t consider the 12,000 civilians that were killed in Iraq, last year alone. This morning, the Daily Herald News Services reported that George W. Bush “will call for sending more troops there [Iraq] in an effort to quell violence, rather than the current strategy of training more Iraqi troops…” If this is so, a war that is becoming increasingly unsupported by the American people is about to escalate. I remember seeing a picture of American Soldiers that had spelled out “9-11” in the sands of Iraq, just after the war there started. Now ask yourselves this. What do you think made those soldiers think that Sadam Hussein was responsible for the tragedy that destroyed the Twin Towers in New York City?

When I was in the military in 1985 as part of my graduate studies then, I took a course on the causes of terrorism. In fact I did my graduate thesis on that very subject. My instructor and the head of my thesis review committee was a consultant to the United States Air Force on terrorism. He described terrorism as “a war in the shadows” and such it is. How do you strike back at a shadow?

So this is another one of those times, when I don’t have an answer for you. I don’t know if anyone can truly say they have an answer to this one -

Does a nation get a leader it deserves?

God bless you all,

Sister Julie

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris

2007-01-02T11:19:00.000-06:00

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris - If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar

What, you may ask yourselves, and rightly so, would make a nun so hopping mad that it would cause her to want someone chained to an oar? The answer to that question is simple:

Someone who leads another human being away from God.

It is one thing to hate God yourself. Back in the day, as they say, when Mother Superior was first considering being a nun, she took a class for people who were considering whether or not they had a vocation. One day at the class, Mother Superior mentioned that she was very mad at God all week long. She even hollered at Him. The nuns conducting the class told her that it was good that she had a close enough relationship with God to holler at Him.

I had to think about that one for awhile when I first heard it.

Think of it this way. My sister (who is also my Mother Superior) sometimes gets quite angry with me. Think of it in terms of the idea of a “whipping boy” only this time make it a “whipping nun.” Yes Virginia, nuns are human beings too and sometimes we get mad - I don’t have my halo quite yet but I am working on it. If you ask Mother Superior why she yells at me (I did) aside from the times when I have deserved it (I sometimes have) she will explain it this way. She would tell you, as she did me, that Sister Julie is one of the people she trusts enough to yell at. Huh?

She trusts me enough to yell at because she knows I will always forgive her, whether she was justified in yelling at me or not. No matter how I may feel at the time, I will always forgive her and she knows that. That my friends, takes a whopping big load of trust.

Think also in these terms, if someone is angry with you, be it a relative or a friend, would you rather have that person angry with you and shouting at you - or angry with you and giving you “the silent treatment.” As for me, I had two great aunts who gave each other the silent treatment for over 20 years - and the anger died with them both. But at least if you are shouting at someone you are still talking, eh?

But what of those people who give God, by whatever name they call Him, the silent treatment? Those people who get so angry they walk away from God entirely. If someone wants to walk away from God, they certainly can. As a nation we have done so - we tell God to get out of our schools, and our work places. Where I work to help support the convent an official memo came out banning God from the office. It is a government office, and all discussions about God where prohibited. I wonder if God got the memo? I am sure He did.

It is one thing to walk away from God, to abandon Him. It is another thing entirely to lead someone else in the same direction - and THAT is what gets me hopping mad.

God has saved my life. His love has changed my life. Before I was going to kill myself. When I reached the point of my life where I was willing to end it all I gave my life to God. Unconditionally. I woke up the next morning with the burning desire to be a nun, and a Buddhist nun at that. The thing is, at the time, I wasn’t even a Buddhist. So here I am, a changed woman. Of all the people in my high school, I certainly would have been voted “least likely to become a nun” - at the time the world didn’t even consider me the right gender (I guess I could have become half a nun then).

God saved my life.

St. Teresa of Avila once said she would give a thousand lives to save one soul.

The son of the founder of the school of Buddhism I follow said very much the same thing.

Yet from time to time, I meet someone who blames God for their woes and walks away from Him; and also leads other people away from God as well.

Misery doesn’t just love company, it demands it.

Sometimes we are wont to shake our fist at the sky and say “You did this to me God.” In the case of the woman we care for in the convent, no one stuck the cigarette in her mouth and made her smoke for 52 years. In fact a lot of people tried to get her to quit. (Before any smokers go on about how hard it is to quit, I used to smoke and I quit). But very few times does anyone, after they blame God, ever ask WHY something happened.

I said, “God you did this to me. You made me born the way I am!”

God said, “Yes I did it.”

At this point God could have said, “But I am God and what are you going to do about it?” But God, being the gentleman and loving father that He is explained WHY He did it. When I finally understood (it took me awhile) and realized not only how much I have learned from it, but that it also gave me a chance to suffer for God, I had one response for God…

“Thanks Dad.”

But that doesn’t always happen. When something happens of our own making, or just HAPPENS, people don’t always turn to God in response. That person is free to walk away from God.

The woman who was one of the founders of the school of Buddhism I follow LIVED embracement. She lived her life for it, and died for it. There are many paths to God, and she was willing to accept everyone’s path. That is a rare quality, even now. So many times as a race, human beings are too busy telling others that they have the only real path to God. In the school of Buddhism to which I belong the founders TOLD people to keep whatever faith they had before they came to Buddhism.

But the founders are gone, and things change.

There is a woman in my temple I will call “Buddhist X”. She has walked away from God. Any discussion of Jesus and the Holy Family seems to offend her. She has had shouting matches in the temple with Christians telling them they can’t pray to God. Yet, like Thomas Merton, there are many people in my temple who are both Christian and Buddhist. Remember, the founders of this school of Buddhism lived and died to provide a place where people like Thomas Merton and I would be accepted with open arms. Yet Buddhist X and others have tried to lead others away from Christianity. They have told them they are forbidden to pray directly to God. They spend their time trying to drive a wedge between God and mankind. Buddhist X even tried to drive a wedge between Mother Superior and I. She tried to destroy our convent when it was in it’s infancy. If the founders of the school of Buddhism I follow were alive today, they would die of shock again to see what Buddhist X and those like her are trying to do to the path to God they founded - Buddhist X and those like her try to use it to separate God and Mankind.

Do I think Buddhist X deserves to be chained to an oar? You bet, but that is not my decision to make. God can handle it on his own. My reaction will always be the same. I will continue to pray for Buddhist X every day.

God Bless You All,

Sister Julie

Was Justice Done?

2007-01-01T09:45:00.000-06:00

Was Justice Done?

Just before the end of 2006, the headlines rang out with the death by hanging of Sadam Hussein. There were headlines like…

“EXECUTION”

But the Chicago Tribune also had a headline the following day “Was Justice too Swift”? The local paper here had an article from the Daily Herald Wire Services. It was entitled “Many Condemn Execution.” In it there is the following quote:

“God will give him his punishment,” said Laila Nagi Habib, 42, a Shiite and homemaker who lives outside Sadr City.”

But think about that for a moment. God didn’t hang Sadam Husein, one human (a judge) sentenced him to death and another human being hung him - not God. The same local paper that featured the headline “Executed” also featured an article from the associated press that was entitled “Karma Doesn’t Always Strike” It had some astounding statistics which put a few things in perspective and certainly gives one pause to think. Here they are:

Joesph Stalin - Soviet Leader 1929-1953. Started the Great Famine which killed 10 million Ukrainians

Adolf Hitler - German Nazi Party Leader 1933-45. Regime killed some 6 million Jews in the World War II Holocaust; committed suicide in 1945

Pol Pot - Khmer Rouge Leader 1975-early 1990s. Responsible for the deaths of up to 2 million Cambodians from 1975-1979. Died 1998.

Idi Amin - Uganda president 1971-1979. Ordered thousands massacred; regime overthrown in 1979; died in 2003, Saudi Arabia.

Slobodan Milosevic - Serbia President 1989-1997, Yugoslavia 1997-2000. Responsible for deaths of more than 200,000 people in 1992-1995; died in March.

Ask the average Christian whether it is right to kill someone or not, and immediately one thing comes to mind…Exodus 20:13 (KJV)

“Thou shalt not kill”

Yet if we look in the very next book of the old testament, Leviticus we find something different….

"'If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.” Leviticus 20:9 (NIV)

Chapter 20 continues on like this for several versus, giving a punishment of death for various acts. Yet when Christ Himself was on earth He told us, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them” (Matthew 5:17) Christ took this further…

“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44)

If this is not specific enough Christ told us this:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34

As we have discussed before, Christ made no exceptions. Christ said love EVERYONE. No exceptions. Even your enemies. Even people who persecute you. Consider St. Paul. His chief mission in life, before he had his epiphany was to kill Christians. God obviously loved him. He is a saint.

But how far does this go? Love Everyone?

Do we have the right to kill a mass murderer kill like Sadam Husein? What about someone like Adolf Hitler? Do we have to love even them?

Mother Superior gave me a exercise once. She said try to find something good about everyone. “Everyone?” I asked. “Everyone” was my answer.

My father had a secretary who escaped the death camps during world war II. She had a number tattooed on her arm and we all know what that means. She would tell of having to carry a grocery bag full of money to the store just to buy one loaf of bread. Adolph Hitler brought Germany out of what was a great world wide depression. If there is anything else good about him, I could never find it. Okay, the truth of the matter, is after his fall, Germany ended up in an even worse depression. That and he is one of histories worst mass murders.

But if Hitler hadn’t committed suicide would we have the right to put him to death?

Or would we be obligated to love even him?

Happy New Year

2006-12-31T12:58:00.000-06:00

I had originally planned to post a column for today entitled "Justice done?" which is about an issue that I had been discussing with Mother Superior. That issue is the ultimate fate of Sadam Hussein. However, New Years eve is supposed to be a happy occasion so I will save it until tommorow. Until then, from all of us at The Sisters of Embracement, Happy New Year to you and your family.

God Bless you all.

Sister Julie

New Year - New changes.

2006-12-31T10:33:00.000-06:00

I seem to be one post behind today, so today will have to have two posts so I can catch up from yesterday. In any case, I thought I would share part of an email that was sent here to the convent. I found if very uplifting. See you later today with another post...

You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to
the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when
suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air.
The sound is high above you.
A trumpet?
A choir?
A choir of trumpets?
You don't know, but you want to know.

So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As
you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The
roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open,
and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing
out of the grocery store.

The Little League baseball game across the street has
come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the
clouds. And what they see, and what you see, has never
before been seen.

As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the
atmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the
earth. There are no shadows. None. From whence came
the light begins to tumble a river of color spiking
crystals of every hue ever seen and a million more
never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of
angels. They pass through the curtains one myriad at a
time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.

North.
South.
East.
West.
Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison,
and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the
cherubim and seraphim chanting, Holy, holy, holy.
The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded
elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship.

Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are
silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy,
holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each
word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join
in the chorus. You don't know why you say the words,
but you know you must.

Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet.
The angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns and
there He is.
Jesus.
Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure
of Christ the King.
He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop
a billowing cloud.
He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration:
I am the Alpha and the Omega.

The angels bow their heads.
The elders remove their crowns.
And before you is a Figure so consuming that you know,
instantly you know:
Nothing else matters.
Forget stock markets and school reports.
Sales meetings and football games.
Nothing is newsworthy..
All that mattered, matters no more....
for Christ has come.

Any Club That Would Have Me for a Member...

2006-12-29T10:30:00.000-06:00

I wouldn’t join any club that would have me for a member…

…that is a quote by the late, great Groucho Marx. In my case, Mother Superior would tell you that I am wont to beat myself on the head with a club – sort of the same self-depreciating sentiment as Groucho had. The reason I missed a day in posting my column is that I had been going through my own little “mini dark night of the soul.” Today’s column is about this very subject:

St. Teresa of Avila, the 16th century saint, and mystic, who wrote so much about prayer [The Interior Castle] is said to have needed nuns to sit on her during prayer from time to time to stop her from levitating off the floor. This same nun once said the following…

“If this is the way you treat your friends Lord, no wonder you have so few.”

What was she talking about? She was talking about what it takes to do the will of God.

St. Therese of Lisieux died of tuberculosis. She coughed blood and slowly suffocated to death. Her death was slow – in fact it took her months to die. Despite how anxious she became to see God, she still wished to do His will, even if it meant suffering further. On June 14, a few months before she died on September 30th, she was speaking to Mother Agnes of Jesus (her older sister Pauline whom she thought of as mother for she raised Therese for much of her life).

From Mother Agnes’ “yellow notebook”…

“I [Pauline] asked, ‘Are you tired out because of your present state that seems to be so prolonged? You must be suffering very much!’”

“Yes, but this pleases me”

“Why?”

“Because it pleases God.”

Even unto death Therese desired only to please God. She didn’t have any great miracles in her life. Mother Mary didn’t appear to her, like she did to St. Bernadette. Christ never spoke to her like He did to St. Gertrude.

A statue of Mother Mary smiled Therese – once.

That’s it.

Yet throughout her life and death, Christ was very real and personal to her. He was not some distant historical personage or some vague concept. He was here and now – and she loved him madly.

But what made it so easy for her to do the will of God?

Fortunately for Therese she wanted to follow the will of God “from the get go” as they say – and desperately so. She went all the way to the Pope to get into the cloistered convent of Carmel Liseux at such an early age as she did.

But what was it that enabled her to suffer for Christ? In fact she was anxious to do so. One of her fondest desires was to be a martyr for this Christ that she never met or spoke to, yet whom she loves do much.

What let her do that?

In a word – Trust.

Therese’s Little Way is usually thought of in terms of love. Yet a very large part of it is about trust. We would be right to all it…

“The Little way of Trust”

I will let Therese herself tell you about it.

“For example, if I were to say to myself, I have acquired a certain virtue, and I am certain I can practice it. For then, this would be relying on my own strength, and when we do this, we run the risk of falling into the abyss. However, I will have the right of doing stupid things up until my death, if I am humble and remain little. Look at little children. They never stop breaking things, tearing things, falling down, and they do this even while loving their parents very, very much. When I fall in this way, it makes me realize my nothingness more, and I say to myself, what would I do and what would I become if I were to rely on my own strength?”

I have asked myself that same question before. What would I do, and what would I become if I were to rely on my own strength?

Therese had a very young, very emotional novice she trained. Her name was Marie of the Trinity. Marie was wont to cry at the drop of a hat and would often come to Therese filled with grief and tears. Marie would often feel that she was no longer called to be the nun that she had struggled so long to become. It became a running joke between the two women. Each time Therese would simply say…

“I suppose you don’t have a vocation any more?”

Then both women would laugh.

Bu there are even more ways to die than bodily. Sometimes, when we decide to follow Christ and give him our all…

“My God an my all” as St. Francis of Assisi used to pray

…we have to let part of ourselves die. Sometimes our dreams have to die, and that can be just as painful as any physical death. So I ask myself “What would I do, and what would I become if I were to rely on my own strength?”

Even now I can turn on the television and see someone who went to the same high school as I did; who went to the same college as I did; who graduated with the same degree as I did. What if I followed that same path? Would I be famous?

The other option is to follow Gods dreams – His plans. If I followed my own dreams and relied on my own strength I might find fleeting glory – the vanity of man.

If I follow God dreams I would find eternal glory.

St. Paul said it best…

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

God Bless You All,

Sister Julie

You Can't Take it With You...

2006-12-27T10:49:00.000-06:00

You can’t take it with you…

…but that doesn’t stop most of the world’s population from spending most of their lives trying. "Carpe Pecunia" (seize the money) instead of Carpe Diem seems to be the operative phrase of our day.

Case in point…

In today’s news, James Brown, died just this last Christmas day. It was very characteristic of such a showman as one of his friends pointed out - it all but guaranteed that all of the papers would be filled with news of his death. He left behind a wife named Tomi Rae Hynie. No matter how you may feel about her marriage to Mr. Brown, the fact remains is that she is raising Mr. Browns child. An associated press article is quoted as saying “James Browns lawyer said the later singer and his partner weren’t legally married and that she was locked out of his South Carolina home for estate legal reasons.”

The same article quotes Mr. Brown’s wife as saying “This is my home, she told a reporter outside the house. I don’t have any money. I don’t have anywhere to go.”

It never ceases to amaze me, how often people will spend their lives, and their souls, in pursuit of material wealth. Sadder still is how often so many of these same people will hurt others around them, ruin other lives and their own, all for money - and then die with it.

There is an adage that says, “I death we are all equal”

The thought here being that when a wealthy person dies, he is then equal with the poorest person. But is this really so? Think about it for a moment.

When you leave this earth what will you leave behind? If atheists are to be believed, the only thing you will be leaving behind is a dead body rotting in the ground. The sort of “live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse” mentality. Yes, there are many cases of wealthy people donating money to charity. But I have already discussed the doctor I met who made sure everyone he met found out how much money he donated to charity. Grandmother, God rest her soul, used to have a phrase to describe this. She would call it “old people trying to work their way into heaven.”

When YOU die what will YOU leave behind?

As those who have read this column before know, Mother Superior and I care for an elderly woman (who I will call Agnes) who needs round the clock care, 24-7. The last few years, the woman we care for has despaired of her condition and still having to remain on this earth while carrying such a burden. All three of us where in a car late in the evening of December 25th. I was half asleep in the back seat. I heard Agnes from the front seat, once again questioning her very existence, claiming her life served no purpose. Without even thinking about it, still have asleep I heard myself say, “You allow to nuns the chance to serve God.”

When Agnes dies she will leave behind the many life lessons she taught me - lessons on how to serve others, and do so cheerfully. It is one thing to talk about serving others. The idea is easy to conceive of and hold in our minds. But carrying that out - putting it into practice. Aye there lays the rub. Some can be an usher in church on Sunday mornings. They may mow their neighbor’s lawn. But to live a life in service to others…that is another matter altogether. Even when one lives a life in service to others, harder still is to always do it cheerfully…emphasis on the word ALWAYS. Serving others cheerfully when you are tired, when you simply don’t feel like doing it, or when you are hurting yourself - that is another matter altogether.

One of the people that was able to do this, who comes to mind instantly, every time I think of this, is the Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta. When she was awarded the Medal of Freedom by then President Ronald Regan in 1985, he said she was the only person he ever awarded the medal to, who was likely to melt it down and sell it, so she could use the money to feed others.

Yes it is true that God loves us all equally. But think of this.

When someone who has lived all their lives filled with hatred, greed and hording wealth like a miser dies what do they leave behind and what do they take with them? What they take with them is the same greedy hateful attitudes and the bad karma of having put those attitudes into practice.

Now what do you think happened when the Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta died? What did she leave behind? Many, many people whose lives were enriched by her presence. She left behind the many of the worlds poor that she took care of when no one else would. She and her sisters lived the same lives that those whom they served did. What did she take with her? The gratitude and love of all those she left behind.

Now imagine the miser and the Blessed Mother Teresa standing before God for judgment. What do you think will happen? Do you still think they will be equal in the eyes of God? Or will God think that Mother Teresa had been a good and faithful servant and used her life as God willed?

So I leave you today with one final question.

What will you leave behind?

God bless you all,

Sister Julie

Twas the night after Christmas

2006-12-26T14:07:00.000-06:00

Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the house
Not a nun was there stirring, twas quiet as a mouse.
The dishes were all washed, stacked in cupboards now bare,
The guests had all gone, sent packing with care

The nuns were nestled all snug in each bed,
While two dogs and a rabbit, crowded one nun instead…
Each dog had a doghouse, all their own they could keep
But instead settled down, somewhere else for their sleep

”Sister Julie is a softie,” they thought, “It won’t matter”,
”if we sleep in her bed, and make quite a clatter.”
Up on her bed, the big dog flew like a flash,
But one was too short, to make such a dash

Still the small one found a way to let sister know,
that he wanted a lift, from the floor down below.
He whined and he cried, his eye shed a tear,
and his tail, wagged like lightening at the end of his rear.

Julie picked up the small one, who was lively and quick,
and said, “I need sleep or I’m going to get sick”.
”Settle down” she yelled, and she called them by name,
but they ignored her, and wrestled and played all the same!

"Stop dashing, stop dancing!” she started to call
but they both kept it up, in spite of it all.
”Oh come on!” Julie shouted, “don’t be stupid, I am missin’
all the sleep you both know I should be now be gettin’”

Both dogs ran around like wild hurricanes fly,
When one saw an obstacle, out of the corner of his eye.
Sister picked up the small one, and grabbed big one too,
and grabbed both by the collar and each dog now knew.

Sister Julie meant business, her look was now proof
Still the small one protested with one tiny ‘woof’
”If you want to sleep on my bed, stop turning around”
”Stop leaping and jumping,” she said to each hound.

She stroked both their fur, from their head to their foot
And saw all the bed clothes now grimy with soot.
The small one she set at the top of the bed,
And said to the big one, “lay down your wild head”

His eyes-how they twinkled! He wanted to play!
He wouldn’t sleep! He wouldn’t stay!
Sister gave him a frown, a furrow on her brow,
Then the big dog knew, that Julie meant now!

With part of a pillow held tight in his teeth
The big one lay down, laid curled like a wreath
At the other end of the bed, laying down on his belly
the small one slept, just a little bit smelly

He was chubby and short, but never a git,
that little old dog that she loved quite a bit!
she stroked his small head, as she lay on the bed,
and started to think of the next day with dread.

She spoke not a word, but still thought of work,
outside of the convent, and turned with a jerk
But just couldn’t sleep, she thought “who knows”.
”Maybe one day I’ll sleep,” and so up she rose

And back on the bed, two happy dogs smile,
Knowing the plan, they had all the while,
Had finally worked, as Sister Julie disappeared from sight,
To have the bed to themselves, and they slept through the night.

© 2006 Sister Juliemarie WhiteFeather

Christmas...

2006-12-25T15:37:00.000-06:00

Christmas…

There are many places in the world with many Christmas traditions. To some it is Christmas movies, Christmas Trees, and houses lighted with bright Christmas lights. To others it means families gathered around a dinner table, celebrating Christmas together. Still others remember Christmas morning as a child, knee deep in wrapping paper, and playing with new toys. Whether or not we are still with the families that we shared these things with, we still remember them - I know I do. Such are the words in a song, “I’ll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams.” It may be that the members of those families have gone their separate ways, or gone home to heaven. It may be that a person is far away from home during family holidays. I have experienced bittersweet holidays being thousands of miles away from any family, overseas in the military. Like many, I still think of Christmas in terms of family traditions, but Christmas has come to mean so much more to me.

I did not grow up with a spiritual sense of Christmas. Certainly, I heard the story of the Nativity. Until I was an adult I never had any deep spiritual connection with Christmas. It is one thing to understand something with your mind, it is a far cry different to hold it in your heart.

Now there is something very, very special about Christmas for me. Something that happens every year. That special something special is Midnight Mass. Each Christmas Eve the local Carmelite Convent has midnight mass. The sisters there are cloistered. I have never met any of them, and only seen them from the other side of the grill that divides their half of the chapel from the public half. Still, it is a very deeply moving moment for me, each year.

Music moves the spirit and soothes the soul.

At the midnight mass each Christmas, the sisters in the convent sing. What beautiful voices they have. It is as if, for a brief moment, the firmament opens up and Heaven and Earth are connected. I go early, at least an hour, so I can sit in the peace of the chapel and listen to the sisters sing. As I close my eyes and pray, with the Carmelite sisters singing in the background, it is very much like being swept away body and soul to Carmel Lisieux - back to France in 1895, seen below.

When Therese reached the point in her life where God was nearly ready to call her home to heaven, she was visited by her sister Pauline one evening. Pauline told Therese that she should get some rest. Therese told her that she was too busy praying. When Pauline asked her sister what she said to Jesus, Therese replied simply “Nothing, I just love Him.”

At Medjugorgie Mother Mary talks about coming to Jesus in silence. The most efficacious prayer can be simple silence. And so I come to God in the silence of the Chapel. The sisters sing in the background and it is as if I am there in Lisieux, at Midnight Mass, with some very special sisters, Therese among them.

It is moments in my life - moments like these - that have lead me to understand some very special words spoken by Therese. Those words are these:

“Life is a moment between two eternities.”

God bless you all.
Sister Julie

Hey Baby!

2006-12-24T09:33:00.000-06:00

Hey baby…

When was the last time you saw an evil baby? Ridiculous movies like “The Omen” aside (which are little more than absurd fantasies) have you ever seen or even heard of an evil newborn?

You haven’t have you? Of course not. No one has.

Newborn babies are pure innocent beings. This is the time of year when the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” which I have mentioned before in this column, is often viewed. That’s the movie where George Bailey’s angel, Clarence Oddbody AS2 (angel second class as he tells us) gives George Bailey his wish - he changes the world so George Bailey had never been born. But think about that for a moment..

George Bailey doesn’t wish he was never born until some time later in his life. Not so when he was born. As a newborn, we are all God’s innocents. God is glad we are born. He always loves us. But what happens between when that same baby is born and later on when George Bailey, or anyone like George Bailey wishes he or she had never been born?

A few days ago I made one of my extremely rare excursions to a shopping mall. Not by choice, merely by happenstance. I hate shopping. It is sort of a by product of being a nun I guess. So there I was in my habit and veil, as you see me above. I was there with two other women, one of them being an elderly woman whom we take care of. I have a habit (pun intended) of wearing white socks with my black habit and black veil. I will get into how that particular habit started at a later time. The elderly woman notices my white socks and offers to buy me some black socks. She tells me I should wear them so “I look official.” Mind you, I am used to getting questions like “are you a recognized convent?” My answer is usually something along the lines of, “Yes, I recognize the convent every time I come home” or “Yes, God knows who we are.” This time I merely replied, “God hears my prayers no matter what color socks I am wearing.”

The elderly woman, whom I will call Agnes, takes this as a cue to mean that God speaks to me personally and answers all my prayers as if I had a hotline to God and could simply pick up the phone and dial up Heaven. I assured her that God hears my prayers, but the answers aren’t always what I want - good thing too. I can think back on all of the earlier times in my life when I too wished that I had “never been born” (or “never existed” as I put it). God never answered that prayer. My guardian angel, what ever his or her name may be, simply chuckled a bit, and went back to the business of protecting a rather clumsy woman who would one day be a nun.

Agnes has quite a few illnesses - she survived tuberculosis. She has emphysema, one lung doesn’t work, the other has cancer. She has also had a stroke. She is now in a wheel chair. This is the point at which Agnes turns to me and says, “well then ask God why I have all these things wrong with me.”

At this point I mentioned that I don’t have a hot line to God but she certainly could ask Him herself. “But you said he answers all your prayers,” Agnes said.

There lays the rub, as Shakespeare would have said. God may hear all my prayers but the answer isn’t always what I wanted it to be. Again, good thing too. What I didn’t mention was the obvious. God didn’t make Agnes smoke for 52 years. She did that one on her own, and caused much of the problems her self. This brings me to the second point.

Agnes certainly wasn’t born with a cigarette in her mouth. We are all born innocent babies. But a lot of what happens to us in between the time when someone is born, and the time someone may wish they had never been born is up to us. We are born innocent, but after that, even if God has a plan for our lives we are all free to “give God the finger” and go our own way. And that, my friends, is where the trouble starts.

Notice I said “a lot” above. There are times when we all say “How can God let that happen?” Well the operative word there is what ever the “that” is. The reasons are as myriad and varied as the number of people to which “that” occurs. Some times bad things happen to good people. Sometimes, they happen for a reason. My own mother was born with cerebral palsy. She told me once that she thought she would not have become the warm person everyone loved if she had not been born with cerebral palsy. As the result of mom’s “that” I also learned. To me mom’s cerebral palsy was just part of mom. It meant she needed a bit of extra help some times but it taught me a lot. On the face of it mom’s cerebral palsy might have been considered a tragedy by some. But not by mom, and not by me. We are both better people today because of it.

But what about those times when we have made a mess of our lives ourselves? When my life was a shambles and I wished “I had never been born” I did it to my self. But even if I wasn’t glad I had been born, God WAS glad that I had been born. Not only that he still had a plan for my life.

Remember the article I wrote about life not coming with a contract? Well it may not come with a contract, but it DOES come with promises. The great thing about those promises is that the ones that life comes with - the ones that are “installed at the factory” before we are born - is that they are made by God. The great thing about promises made by God is that, even if we don’t live up to what God expects of us, He ALWAYS lives up to His end of the deal. God always keeps His promises. Even if we have spent part of our lives giving God the finger. He always forgives us. He always takes us back.

So why is God so generous? Why does He do all this? Because my friends, of one very special baby…

The baby Jesus.

Merry Christmas everyone

There are no divisions in Heaven!

2006-12-23T10:54:00.000-06:00

Today’s column starts with a small story…

A man died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him at the gate to heaven and showed him around. Half way through the tour of heaven they pass a locked door. St. Peter points at the door and says, “Don’t bother them, that’s (insert name of religion here) they think they’re alone up here.

How true, how true. Also how incredible.

Last night I watched a television show hosted by Barbara Walters. It purported to be all about heaven. What amazed me was how little of it was about heaven and how much of it was about hate.

Yes I said hate.

Here is why…

The Christian couple who were broadcasting to millions (7 million per the broadcast) where dead certain that anyone who wanted to go to heaven had to be a Christian. No exceptions. No Christian, no heaven. I guess we will all have to wait and see if the gate to heaven has a very large sign on it that says in letters 64 feet high “CHRISTIANS ONLY. ALL OTHERS TAKE THE ELEVATOR TO YOUR LEFT DOWN TO HELL.”

Remarkably enough , I later listened to a Muslim tell Barabara Walters the same thing about everyone who wasn’t a Muslim. Barabara looked at the man and said, “What about me. I am sitting here across from you and I am not a Muslim. Do you want me to go to hell?” Again, ironically, this same man was certain that Allah would reward people for being suicide bombers and killing other human beings. He was right about one thing - whatever God he was worshiping that rewarded people for killing other people, for whatever the reason, wasn’t any God I know. Sadly enough, whatever God he was worshipping it certainly wasn’t Allah. In fact a Muslim Scholar was interviewed shortly after the man and he indicated that no where in the Koran does it allow people to kill other people. I will take the Scholars word on this one. I have never read the entire Koran. Just part of it. Just prior to the interview, Barbara said of the Muslim that thought suicide bombers would be rewarded, “Ironically he may be the one going to hell.”

How true, how true.

One thing is also true. We live in a world where….

Most Christians think everyone who isn’t a Christian is going to hell…

There are Muslims who think people who aren’t Muslim are going to hell…

There are Jews who think people who aren’t Jews are going to hell..

The current Pope (keep in mind here that I am Catholic) seems to feel for some bizarre reason that all Jews must become Christian to be saved. No denying this one folks. I heard it come out of the mans own mouth. He may have been misquoted in the press about saying the Muslim faith was evil, but he can’t deny the anti-Semitic attitudes.

If this is true my friends, hell is going to be one crowded place and heaven will be completely empty.

Ok…say it with me…

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT…

There are several aspects I am just incredulous about when it comes to all this. First on the list is the Popes idea that all Jews must become Christian to be saved.

Message to His Holiness…

“Hello *knocks on Papal Crown* is anyone home! Christ is JEWISH! His mother is Jewish, all of the apostles where Jewish. “

None of them gave up their faith as Jews to be Christians. In fact in the early Christian church, St. Paul and the rest of the apostles had a running argument about whether or not you first had to be Jewish to be Christian. St. Paul was against - the rest of the apostles for awhile were for.

What I also find so incredulous is all of the Muslims, Christians and Jews who all think they seem to be worshiping different Gods.

“Hello!! Fellas! You all have the same progenitor! Father Abraham. He worshiped the One God. You are all worship the same God people.!!!!”

As for Buddhists. I can only speak for the Buddhists in this convent. We believe in God and in Heaven.

Friends. There are so many names and paths to God - pick one and find God at the end of it. Which brings me to the next point. The atheist in the interview. This woman thought death was the end. That was it. After that, no more existence and lay there and rot. Wow, how futile. What was incredible was one of her reasons. It allowed her to concentrate on making her own life better in this life. Wow. At least she admitted that it allowed her to be self centered.

Here is the big but (no not my big butt).

I would like to see an interview with her at the other end of her life and see how she feels. Let me tell you a quick story about a doctor I once met. He was a veterinarian. Within five minutes of meeting this man, I noticed that he told everyone how much money he gave to Charity. He did this to impress people. I hope everyone was duly impressed because that was how he got his reward. As I got to know this man, I got to see how his bank account became his soul. How many people I have met that spend there entire lives in pursuit of material wealth.

Message to said people, “HELLO! YOU CAN’T TAKE ANY OF THE WEALTH WITH YOU!!!”

The sad end to this story is when said doctor developed cancer. As he lay dieing in his hospital bed he was heard to say “If only he had done…” here insert al the things he should have done instead of pursue wealth.

So if you remember nothing else about this forum or this article, remember what follows:

Repeat after me…

There are no divisions in heaven!!

There is no Christian Heaven; There is no Muslim Heaven, there is no Jewish Heaven, there is no Buddhist Heaven. There is only Heaven. No locked doors where you can conveniently hide away from someone who had a different name for God than you.

Don’t believe me? That’s ok. I have been called a heretic before. The important thing is, if you are reading these words you have been told. By me. I have given you the truth that God has given me. What you do with that truth is up to you.

There is no sanity clause...

2006-12-22T11:00:00.000-06:00

There is no sanity clause…

Life doesn’t come with a contract. God doesn’t make us sign one. It is perhaps a good thing too – for many of us would run afoul of the sanity clause – myself included. If there were such a clause, mankind, taken as a whole, and many of its individual members as well, would have had to give life back to its creator long ago. But such is not the case.

Despite the holiday traditions portrayed in movies such as “It’s a Wonderful Life” - many people seem show “peace on earth good will toward men” by taking out nasty attitudes and strutting them around the block for all to see. The convent subscribes to the local paper. When I opened it to the back page, I saw an article that very vividly portrayed the “good will” that some of our fellow human beings hold in their heart. Let me quote part of the article for you:

Associated Press 12/22/2006

Rosie & The Donald

Things got even uglier Thursday in the bitter war of words between Donald Trump and Rosie O’ Donnell.
The Donald called the Los Angles-based morning show “Good Day L.A.” to sound off on O’Donnells’s remarks about the near-firing of Miss USA. Tara Conner.
“Maybe she wanted to put the crown back on Miss USA’s head,” the real-estate mogul said of the openly gay O’Donnell, who has four children with her partner, Kelli. “I think she’s very attracted to Miss USA so she probably wanted to put the crown on her head herself.”
Insult No. 2: “She is a very, very unattractive woman who really is a bully”
Insult No. 3: “Ultimately Rosie is a loser, and ultimately (“The View”) will fail because of Rosie…”

No matter how one may feel about Rosie O’Donnell or Donald Trump, if life had a sanity clause, Donald Trump just violated his contract. At this point it would be good to remember the words of Christ “Love one another as I have loved you.” (side note to Donald Trump, no exceptions Donald, love one another whether the person is a lesbian or not). If you are Buddhist, as I am, and read the above words, I would say that whoever uttered those words in the associated press article may be destined to come back as a lesbian woman with a very disfiguring disease.

Let me say it again. “Love one another as I have loved you”…

…even if that person irritates the hell out of you.

Loving someone who is busy hurling insults at us is one tall order, but no exceptions means no exceptions. But just how are we to go about trying to love someone who treats us like that?

Well fortunately for you and I, I know a little French nun who can tell us how. Dear Sister Therese. The Little Flower. But let me let Therese tell you in her own words.

“There was at that time a certain nun who managed to irritate me in everything she did!…I prayed for her whenever we met, and offered all her virtues and merits to God…and when tempted to answer her sharply I hastened to giver her a friendly smile, and talk about something else; for as it says in Imitation [The Imitation of Christ], it is better to leave everyone to their own way of thinking than begin an argument…She said to me one day, her face radiant, ‘What do you find so attractive in me? Whenever we meet you give me such a gracious smile; what attracted me?’ It was Jesus hidden in the depths of her soul; Jesus who makes attractive even what is most bitter.”

Another way Therese once put it was simply, “Let God love them through you.”

So who ever the Donald Trump may be in your life, give them a big smile, and offer all of their virtues up to God. If you can’t find any virtues, leave it up to God to find them. It may be hard to smile at someone like that at first. Eventually the smile will be genuine. If nothing else, use an old adage as a starting point: “smile-everyone will wonder what you are up to.”

A Christmas Wish...

2006-12-21T11:24:00.000-06:00

The Christmas Wish…

Oddly enough the story of this Christmas wish starts with a dead body.

Bear with me. This Christmas wish may not start out pretty, but like so many paths to God, it ends up gloriously.

There was a time in my life when the only way anyone would have known I died was when the body started to smell out in the hallway. For reasons which I will not get in to, but which many people who are born like I was will understand, there was a time in my life when my relatives where either dead or had disowned me. I will leave out of the equation the relative who threatened me bodily harm.

Alone.

There are many people who are alone during the holidays. Walk down the streets of the average city. Look for the heating grates, and the underground streets. You will find plenty of them. But they aren’t all in the streets. Some of them may be the people you work with. Case in point. God rest his soul, Gerald Johnson.

I worked with Gerald for many years until he transferred to a different department. I didn’t know him as well as others did. Now it is too late. Gerald hadn’t shown up for work for at least a week. One of his co-workers finally went up to Gerald’s department head and asked where Gerald was. Sadly enough the department head didn’t know. So the co-worker and one of his friends went over to Gerald’s house.

No Answer.

They called the fire department. One thing lead to another and the fire departmentwent in to the house. Gerald was there, dead on his bathroom floor. He had been there for a week. The fireman simply came out and told Gerald’s co-workers “You don’t want to go in there.”

So often people don’t appreciate God’s greatest gifts until they are gone. Many is the morning that Grandmother would wake up in the wee hours of the morning to make grandfather breakfast, when he had to be at work at 6:00 am. A cheerful voice would shout up the stairs of their house “It’s on the table Mabel” This happened even after grandfather retired. All the same, my grandfather had a little ditty he would sing in off moments, when both he and grandmother where still alive. He would sing, “It’s a great life with a wife, it’s a great wife without a wife – who the hell wants a wife.”

He did.

When grandmother died and her voice no longer called up the staircase “it’s on the table Mabel” then he began to appreciate the voice.

So that brings me to my Christmas wish. I learned to appreciate God’s gifts because there were times in my life when they were taken away. God was merciful in my case. He gave them back in wonderful ways I never dreamed possible. So let me go through my list of what I want for Christmas.

Top of the list – I want a family.

What a wonderful gift. I have a family again. I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night and I am not alone. I have my convent. Mother Superior, though she doesn’t have to, gets up on those mornings I work outside the convent and makes breakfast for me. Hot Swedish coffee and some of the best food you have ever tasted. That brings me to my second wish.

Lord, I want food to eat.

There was a time, long before I became a nun, that people would ask me how I lost so much weight. My answer was always the same. Suicidal depression and starvation - at the time I was so thin I looked like I had just escaped from a death camp. Now? Wow! What food! Mother Superior’s cooking is rarely outdone. When her brother comes to visit on the holidays I find out that it is occasionally possible to out do her cooking! What a cook he is as well! But always, I remember, whenever I eat – that in order for me to eat, something had to give it’s life so I can live. And so I thank God for the gift of that life, whether it is simply a plant life or an animal life. I thank God for the gift of that life so I can live. That brings me to my next wish.

A life – Lord I want a life.

Many is the time we have all heard someone say “Get a life” Yes I have a life, and what a life it is! True, in order to get this wonderful life, I had to be willing to give up a few dreams of my own. The world may never have another actress it doesn’t need. The other side of the bed is taken up with two dogs and a rabbit each time I go to sleep. Ever heard of the group or expression “Three dog night”? Well when it is cold in our neck of the woods (and even when it is not) for me it is always a “two dog and one rabbit night” When my life had hit bottom (see the above paragraph about people only knowing I was dead when the body started to stink) I finally gave my life to God with no reservations – and He gave me my life back. He gave me a wonderful life. If you have ever seen the movie “The Blues Brothers” you will have seen the parts of the movie when they say “We are on a mission from God.” Well, in my case, that is truly the case.

So my Christmas wish list consists of a family, food to eat, and a wonderful life. Looks to me like I already have everything I could ever want. The best thing is, I didn’t even have to ask for any of it. God already knew. I gave my life to Him and he gave me all these wonderful things.

There is one more small wish. Well perhaps not too small. It is a big one – a real biggie in fact. I will admit, this particular Christmas wish has yet to be fulfilled. Some may think that God is falling down on the job. The odd thing is, He keeps trying to give us this gift and as a whole, mankind seems to keep telling Him we don’t want it. But I do, and so I will keep praying for it. In fact, that same prayer that God asks for is really why He threw in the answer to the other Christmas wishes as sort of a bonus gift. That’s because He cares. So I will keep praying, not for God to grant this Christmas wish, but for a time when mankind is finally willing to accept this last Christmas wish of mine. It is a doozie. My last Christmas wish? Simple.

Peace on Earth.

Good guys wear black (veils)

2006-12-19T10:58:00.000-06:00

“Is that you?”

These were the words that greeted me one day, some time ago, in the early days of my being a novice. They were spoken to me as I was clearing out my old apartment in the city for the last time. There I stood with my key in the door, for perhaps the last time. From behind me I heard the words again.

“Julie is that you?” asked a former neighbor.

“Yes it is”, I replied.

“The only way I knew it was you was because you had a key to the door.”, she exclaimed.

I hadn’t notice the change in myself in those days, but apparently some of the people around me did.

Black clothes (in fact I still wear black but now the style of the clothes has certainly changed). Stark white makeup. Black out sunglasses. Dark clothes and a dark attitude toward life. That was me all over. I hadn’t quite realized it all until one day, as a nun, someone who had met me then told me they thought I was quite “Goth” People began to speak to me who hadn’t before. When I asked a woman at work why she hadn’t ever spoken to me before, she said simply, “I was afraid to”.

How times change, and sometimes change us for the better.

When I was growing up (in fact I still think I am in the process of growing up) the last thing I thought I would be is a nun. I wanted to be an FBI agent, an oceanographer and then an actress. In that order. When I wanted to be an oceanographer I wanted to go to a college I was later told that Jacques Cousteau would have had trouble getting in to. I actually did earn a degree in theater. I got paid for acting for all of one summer. But hey, at least I can say I acted professionally. Some would say I am still acting – just now I am “acting up”.

But God had other ideas for my life.

I look back on some of the painful times I have had in my life and I can see how they made me who I am today. Without them I would never have become a nun. The difference between myself and other nuns is diverse to say the least. A large part of those differences come from the many painful experiences that it took me a lifetime to face up to. What other nun can say that before she became a nun she had relationships three out of the four possible ways? Can say that she has been both a husband and a wife? Can say that she has been the other woman and has been “other womaned” (I was ran out on for another woman at one point).

After all that, God showed me who I truly was. Who I had been (from a Buddhist point of view) and who I will be.

Now I can’t imagine being anything else but a nun. I did, in fact, try and get away from it once. For a brief period of 24 hours I tried to wrap my mind around leaving the convent and not being a nun (I was a novice at the time). I couldn’t do it. I found I had a deep seated need to be a nun in this particular order. At the time I had no idea why.

As it has been said before… “The prophets longed for these days”.

Oddly enough (at least to me originally) material possessions have become meaningless. I once heard a line in a movie where one character asks another “how many yachts can you water ski behind.” Too true. When I moved from the city to the suburbs in preparation for the process necessary to enter the convent I filled up the building’s garbage chute to the fourth floor, four times. Not with garbage, with material possessions. Someone who helped me move said, “How can you throw all those things away.” My reply was simple. “If you want them you can have them.”

So these days I find myself inexorably drawn, like Marie-Louise Castel to follow in the footsteps of my dear Sister Therese Martin. I have learned something very important about myself – “Good guys wear black (veils)”

A Gorilla Walks Into a Bar...

2006-12-18T17:45:00.000-06:00

There is an old joke that goes something like this (in fact it goes exactly like this)…

“A gorilla walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender gives the gorilla a beer and says, “That will be 20 dollars. You know, we don’t get many gorilla’s in here.” The gorilla replies, “At prices like these I’m not surprised.”

I had an experience today that reminded me of “old times” and in my case that is NOT a good thing. For me, the life I live now is “the good old days”. My past is another matter.
As my readers know, I was born a hermaphrodite. I have spent much of my life suffering insults as a result. The hardest part has been learning to not only endure the treatment but to offer it up to God. Why offer it up to God? Here is why…

About a month before my dear sister Therese (St. Therese of Lisieux) died, one of her young novices, Marie of the Trinity went to visit her. We shall discuss more of this visit in a future blog. What is important are the words with which Therese ended the conversation with her novice. These are those words:

“When I am in heaven, you will have to fill my little hands with prayer and sacrifices to give me the pleasure of casting these as a shower of graces upon souls.”

My dear friends, God doesn’t always need someone to perform great deeds to serve him. Not everyone is called to be a martyr or a prophet. Only Moses parted the Red Sea. Sometimes God just needs someone to offer up a small bit of suffering to Him, to his dear daughter Therese, so she can use it to “shower graces upon souls.”

Today I went to visit a book store owned and operated by a local convent. Obviously I do not intent to tell you the name. There is no point in telling tales out of school. What is significant is how I was treated. Keep in mind, I was dressed in my habit and veil, as you see me in my picture. I have visited this convent and store before. A dear friend, who is also on our board of directors used to work there (she has since gone on to teaching). I used to go there all the time to pray in their little chapel. I loved to buy spiritual books there when my funds allowed. In fact during my noviate, I bought many of the books I studied there.

But times change and so, it seems, have all the sisters in this particular convent. None of the nuns I knew (pun intended) are there any more. When I went into the store I was followed like a hawk from the moment I set foot in the store. The poor little nuns apparently thought I wouldn’t notice that one of them just “happened” to be straightening up the shelves where ever I went as I walked around the store. This behavior even persisted to the point where I was followed and watched when I prayed in the chapel – with the door which I left open so they could still see me. I was treated like I am a criminal.

How terribly said.

I bought my book. I stopped to pray. As I was leaving, I stopped to put on my coat. One of the nuns just “happened” to need to read a book next to where I was standing. After all this time, she works up the courage to ask me – as I am standing there in my habit and veil – “are you a nun”?

I politely assured her I was.

Now my dear friends, I know I am not the cutest little nun ever to cross a threshold. But God does not go for “good looks” when he chooses a bride. He goes for a pure soul.

So in the end, my little story comes back to the gorilla in the joke I started out with. Let me change it a bit. “A nun walks into a book store. She is followed around the store, every inch of her movements being followed. As the clerk behind the counter sells her a book she says, “you know we don’t get many ex-hermaphrodite nuns in here.” The nun replies, “with treatment like this, I am not surprised.”

I will leave you, readers, by sharing the thanks I owe the people in the book store who treated me like a criminal based only on my looks. I address this to the sisters who followed me around:

“Thank you sisters for allowing me the opportunity to offer up just a small bit of suffering to God and my sister Therese.”

65 Roses CAN'T be wrong!

2006-12-14T17:35:00.000-06:00

65 roses CANT be wrong.

I realize there are those of you who may have not met my dear Sister Therese. The world knows her as “St. Therese of Lisieux” She is a dear sweet sister who lived 24 short remarkable years. She was a cloistered Carmelite nun in Liseux, France. For those who have not met her, she has written a remarkable account of her life and her soul in a book called simply “The Story of a Soul” There is also a remarkable movie about her called “Therese” What can I say about such a dear wonderful woman. For those of you who have come to know her, you will have seen, as I found, a woman who, like all of us, went through her own troubled times – her “dark night of the soul" Yet she learned to love God with every fiber of her being. She rose above her troubled soul to become a saint. There is a story I would like to share with you all that tells much about this remarkable sister. It is the story of a last smile.

For those of you who may not be nuns, and I will bet there are a lot of you, in a cloistered convent, there is a part of the convent where visitors can go that is traditionally much like a grill, a latticed “window” if you will, where people can visit with the cloistered sisters.

Again, for those of you who may not be nuns, I can tell you, when you are in a convent with someone, they become your family. Like the modern expression “My brother from another mother” the sisters in the convent with you are truly that – your sisters. It doesn’t matter if you shared the same mother or not.

And so to the story of a last smile….I will let Marie of the Trinity tell you herself.

“When Therese died, the body was laid out in front of the grill so that visitors could come and pay their respects. Often people would pass rosaries through the grill to the sister in attendance so that was she could touch the rosary to the body. During the time I spent with Therese, there at the grill, I couldn’t stop crying. I was very close to Therese. She was my best friend. She was my sister. She taught me how to love God. My tears fell and would not stop. It was just as a visitor passed a rosary through the grill to me that it happened. I reached down to touch the visitor’s rosary to Therese’s body and it got caught in her fingers! No matter what I did I couldn’t get it loose! There I was, pulling and crying and nothing I could do would free the rosary. As I was struggling I heard Therese say to me interiorly ‘I am not going to let go until you give me a smile.’ I said to myself, ‘No I feel like crying. I’m not going to smile.’ Soon the visitor started getting impatient with me and said, ‘what is taking so long.’ Then the humor of the situation struck me and I started laughing. As I did the fingers let go and there I had the rosary back again. Therese got her smile.”

Therese was a woman of remarkable humor. She can make you laugh and make you cry. She brought everyone who knew her, and who gets to know her closer to God. She has taught me how to love God. How to feel loved by God. She has even taught me to love everyone who hates me right back. Like everyone who has ever met her, or come to know her, I miss Therese terribly and long to be with her. Before God called her home she said would “spend her heaven doing good on earth” and said, “After my death I will let fall a shower of roses.” That has become the way that Therese lets you know she has heard your prayer – with a rose.

There came a time when my life had hit bottom. I was ready to kill myself. Instead of killing myself, I admitted to God that I couldn’t handle my own life any more. It was only when I was willing to give my entire life to God, with no conditions, that He turned my entire life around. Where there was misery, there is now joy.

In those dark days, before I even considered being a nun, I went to the convent I now call home. I had met the sister who is now my Mother Superior, very briefly, years ago. I am not sure, to this day, why I went there, other than to say, God guided me there. I was welcomed with open arms. Mother Superior hid my keys so I could not leave and watched over me. In those days when I first gave my life to God, no one knew I was at the convent. I felt worthless. I felt alone. Yet Therese let me know I was loved, and that she was watching over me in a very special way. I had just begun praying. I asked Therese a very special question in prayer. To this day only Mother Superior and I know what that question is. I got the answer to my question. I found a new life that is wonderful. I walked into the kitchen for an evening meal and there they were, delivered to me – 65 roses. Therese was watching over me. She has always been there for me.

Thank you Sister Therese for showing me the way, and believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Thank you for finding me again.

65 roses can’t be wrong.

50,000 Frenchmen CAN be wrong...

2006-12-14T17:33:00.000-06:00

50,000 Frenchmen CAN be wrong…

For those of you who may have not heard it, there is an old adage that says “50,000 Frenchman can’t be wrong”. I can’t be sure, but it certainly sounds like a mustard commercial to me. Perhaps it was before my time (as hard as it seems to be). The point is this – we live in a world where the person in the mirror rarely considers themselves to be wrong. It must be the other person’s fault.

I have seen and experienced this over and over again in my life. The world is full of people who consider themselves “good Christians” who are dead set certain that God hates gay men and lesbian women. The average person who feels this way has learned or been taught hatred or distrust of people who are gay or lesbian. If you ask them about their unreasoning hatred, many people will point you in the direction of Leviticus 18:22 “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination”. Yet the same person will conveniently stop reading before they reach Leviticus 25:44 to 46 “As for the male and female slaves whom you may have, it is from the nations around you that you may acquire male and female slaves. You may also acquire them from among the aliens residing with you, and from their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may keep them as a possession for your children after you, for them to inherit as property. These you may treat as slaves, but as for your fellow Israelites, no one shall rule over the other with harshness.” If you use the first scripture to justify your hatred, you must therefore accept the second. The question then becomes “How many Canadians can I own”? The truth of the matter is there is a term for this. It is called “Displaced Hostility”.

Time and time again I have gone through my life facing people who are sure that there is something wrong with me. To this day there are people where I work who will not get on an elevator with me. There are people who will not speak to me. Why? Because of how I was born – a hermaphrodite. These people, in many cases, have known me for 20 plus years. They are certain that I am some sort of an abomination.

There are people who, to this day, walk up to my sister and say “Why is she always angry”? For those people I have a little story. It was told by Leo Buscaglia, who spent so much of his life lecturing and writing about love and life. Dr. Buscaglia tells of the time he was on an airplane and the passenger in the seat next to him spent much of the flight being rude and nasty to the stewardess. When the passenger asked Dr. Buscaglia what he did for a living, he responded that he lectured about love. The man in the seat next to Leo said “Well thank got someone feels about life like I do.”

Displaced Hostility. Many is the time that people are just downright nasty, yet rather than admit to themselves that THEY are the ones who are angry, they are certain that it is everyone around them.

So if you go through your life, as I have, the subject of unreasoning hatred and anger. Remember…50,000 Frenchmen CAN be wrong. Just tell all those Frenchman to calm down, take a long hard look in the mirror, and keep their anger to themselves.

Then read about how 65 roses CANT be wrong.

I think of you every day. Much love.

2006-11-24T11:27:00.000-06:00

First, if you are reading this, let me apologize for the gap in posts. I was beginning to doubt whether or not anyone was reading the blog, and so I left it unattended for awhile. In any case, here is a new posting:

“I think of you every day. Much Luv”

There were the words above…”I think of you every day. Much luv” staring up at me. I had just gotten on the train I call the “tunnel of death”, that is, the subway. The reason for this is the autophobia and bit of claustrobia I have. Ok, perhaps there is more claustrophobia then I will admit. I am not sure at this point. However, I will just bet “dollars to donuts”, as grandmother used to say, that not many people will not double knot their shoelaces for fear of feeling trapped in their own shoes. There. I said it.

But I digress.

I take the subway to work. I sat down, and there written on the top edge of the seat in front of me where those words… “I think of you every day. Much luv.” The average person might not have even given it a second thought. But, dear reader, I am far from being the average person.

In a series of books called “True Life in God” God says that there are no co-incidences to Him. Now we can debate endlessly the legitimacy, or not, of the books. We can debate endlessly what about when bad things happen to good people (in fact there is even a book written with that very title). But let me pose a question. What if God doesn’t always speak to us through pillars of fire in a deep voice that sounds suspiciously like Charlton Heston? Perhaps this is not just a coincidence? Does this seem reasonable? Shingon Buddhist believe in the “voiceless voice” of God. At Medjugorgie Mother Mary tells us of God speaking to us in silence. St. Teresa of Avila and the Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta speak of the same thing. So what if God speaks to us in other ways?

What gives me pause to consider this, on this day is not just the words above, but the context in which I viewed them.

Human beings are often creatures of guilt. We have all heard of people being given a “guilt trip” whether the person giving the guilt trip is a family member or a friend. When human being sin, we later come to God with a guilty conscience. We feel guilty. The fact of the matter is most people don’t have to wait for someone like satan to come along and make us feel guilty – we do just fine on our own.

Yes. I know. There are sometimes when there may be a reason to feel guilty.

But there are other times when it is merely a matter of not being able to forgive ourselves for being human. There are other times when we don’t even understand the concept of righteous anger.

“Righteous anger?”

You bet. Even Christ Himself threw the money lenders out of the temple – His Father’s House – and overturned their tables. He had every right to do so. Not just because of who he was, but because of what was going on. There are some things that just aren’t done. Disrespecting God is one of them. Do you think Jesus felt guilty for throwing out the money lenders? I can’t tell you. One day, if we are all lucky, we will get to ask Him.

Yes, the other side of the coin is that there are times when it is a darn good thing that we can feel guilty.

Consider Mother Mary – Christ’s mother.

Now at this point, if you are not Christian, just bear with me. If you are Christian you at least understand that Mary was Jesus’ mother. If you believe that Jesus was also God, as I do, you have an understanding of Mary as Mother of God. OK? Lets just leave it at that.

In the news we see people like Mel Gibson throwing around racial epithets aimed at Jews. He is far from being the only one. It is easy for people to forget, for those out there who may be anti-semitic, that Christ was a Jew. Mary was a Jew.

There is a game called “the dozens” For those of you who may not know it, it is a game where two people start insulting one another’s mother until the other one has no come back. Now – I told you that to tell you this –

Think about the above paragraph. How many times have you heard someone talk about “those damn jews” Not often out in the open any more. Bigotry isn’t as accepted, happily, as it once was. But it is still there my friends, it has just gone underground. It circulates through society like a nasty undercurrent, and one that, if it where anthropomorphically embodied would be just as mean as a snake. That is why we have people like Mel Gibson insulting Jews and people like Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer of “Seinfeld” fame) insulting African Americans in night clubs. Bigotry is still alive and well.

But the thing is this – remember – Christ is a Jew. His mother is a Jew. The apostles were all Jews. I don’t know about you my friends but playing “the dozens” with God’s mother seems a very, very dangerous thing to me.

Some things just aren’t done. That is one of them.

I told you that – to tell you this. This is one case where it is a darn good thing that there is such a thing as guilt

So whether we are guilty because we have something to feel guilty about, or we feel guilty just because human beings seem to enjoy feeling guilty think about this:

If you deserve to feel guilty, say a little prayer to God, whatever your concept. Also remember the words “I am sorry” go along way. Then forget about it. Don’t relive the guilt. If the other party can’t forgive you, at that point their hard heart is theirs to live with and that is their own lookout.

If you feel guilty because of righteous anger – such as the leader of your country killing people in another country because “God told Him to do it” Well in that case, the person upon which you have heap your anger for that issue had it coming. Offer a little prayer to God, to get it to stop. Then forget about it. Leave it in God’s hands.

If you are guilty just because you seem to enjoy feeling guilty. (see the above paragraph about asking for forgiveness). Well, first off – cut it the heck out. Do you enjoy feeling guilty? Do you “dig” on it? Is it “your thing?” No? Well allow yourself to be human. Once you have done one of the above FORGET ABOUT IT.

As human beings one of the saddest things is that, even if we ask God for forgiveness we seem to have a hard time forgiving ourselves. This is where God speaking to us in silence comes in.

We may be going through our day. We may feel like we have disappointed God (after all feeling guilty about something can be very, very contagious to those around you). Then we sit down on a train. And there, in our field of vision are the words from God.

“I think about you every day. Much luv. – God”

What goes around comes around

2006-10-06T17:33:00.000-05:00

Every now and then Mother Superior and I go out to a movie together. It is rare that our schedules and duties allow us both to go anywhere at the same time. This time we went out to see a movie called "Idlewild". First, friends a small disclaimer - I may have lived a good deal of life in my time, but this does not mean I want to see it on the silver screen. Yes, there is a scene in the movie where I found myself saying, "Why do they always have to put the obligatory scene like that in the movie." I have often thought there should be disclaimers on movies that read something like, "Some scenes may not be appropriate for children and nuns".

What is important is a line from the movie. One of the main characters in the movie is a man named Rooster. One of the running themes in the movie is a whisky flask that never seems to be more than arms reach from Rooster. The front of the whiskey flask, which we see throughout the movie, has a picture of a rooster on it. This same rooster is animated. The upshot of which whiskey flask talks to Rooster giving him advice and comments.

At one of the crucial moments in the movie, the whiskey flask rooster talks to the human named rooster and says this:

"What goes around comes around Rooster - its called karma"

Rooster goes on in the movie to discover the truth of these words. I won't spoil the movie for you by telling you how.

But it brings up a point that Sister Frances and I talk about alot - what goes around comes around. In other words Karma.

Recently there has been a rash of key loggers going around the internet. For those of you who don't know what a key logger is - it is a rather vile little program that creates a record of the actual key strokes you make as you type on your computer and sends them over the internet to some unscrupulous person who uses the information to victimize you.

This prompted a comment from me this morning at breakfast, "Why do so many people dedicate such a larger portion of their lives to victimizing other people. How can they do so without thinking that there will never be any repurcussions?"

Yet people do this and in plenty. Recently a member of the House of Representatives the United States victimized his teens by sending the sexually explicit messages. The result is he ended up having to resign his position in congress.

The list of crimes and victims goes on and on. They cover an international scale to a personal scale. They crimes or simple wrongs may have been anonymous or done right out there in the open.

So often we see wrongs such as these and too often see no results of wrong doing. It may be someone at work. It may be someone we know. We may find ourselves saying, "Why don't they ever get punished for that?" The same person who wronged someone may later have some tragedy befall their lives; then look at the heavens and say "Why God? Why me?" If they listened to the still small voice within, they may hear God saying, "Remember that person you harmed last week?"

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to paint God as some hairy thunderer waiting to reek havoc upon the unsuspecting masses. On the other hand, recently Anne Graham Lotz, the daughter of the Rev. Billy Graham was interviewed on The Early Show By Jane Clayson. This is an excerpt from the interview:

Jane Clayson: I've heard people say, those who are religious, those who are not, if God is good, how could God let this happen? To that, you say?

Anne Graham Lotz: I say God is also angry when he sees something like this. I would say also for several years now Americans in a sense have shaken their fist at God and said, God, we want you out of our schools, our government, our business, we want you out of our marketplace. And God, who is a gentleman, has just quietly backed out of our national and political life, our public life. Removing his hand of blessing and protection. We need to turn to God first of all and say, God, we're sorry we have treated you this way and we invite you now to come into our national life. We put our trust in you. We have our trust in God on our coins, we need to practice it.

She is right in that we cannot expect to call God in to save us when something goes wrong and yet tell Him to get out of our lives the rest of the year. If we harm someone on purpose, if we push God from our lives, then why should He protect us?

Think about it.

So no...the bad guys don't win. Karma is Karma, whether in this world or the next. Too many people don't believe in an afterlife until they are one step away from it. Grandmother, God rest her soul, used to say, "the world is full of old people trying to work their way into heaven." Yes, she said this because she was one of those people. To many people God, by whatever name, is a being "measured and far away" to use a phrase from Thoreau. St. Therese, our dear sister, felt God to be real, close and personal. He was not some historical personage.

I will leave you, this time with the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, the author and motivational speaker. He had this to say about Karma:

"How people treat you is their Karma, how you react is yours" - Dr.Wayne Dyer

Hell in a Hand Basket

2006-09-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

A section from our upcoming Podcast - "There Heretic Hour"

The section is called "Hell in a Hand basket":

(Music Bridge: “Start me up” by the Rolling Stones)

You can start me up
You can start me up
I'll never stop.
You can start me up
I've been running hot

You got me just about to blow my top.
You can start me up
you can start me up

I never stop
never stop
never stop
never stop.

(Music Bridge fades under)

Sister Julie: I can hear it now – my dear departed grandmother saying, “the world is going to hell in a hand basket” – and it is never true than it is today. This section is dedicated to those people who have lived in antithesis to all those individuals we feature in our “heretic of the week” section. This section is dedicated to those among us who have made much of the world what it is today – a miserable, wretched place filled with greedy, angry animals.

(cue sound bite – Tommy Lee Jones from “Men in Black”)
"A person is smart. People are dangerous, panicky, stupid animals and you know it."

Sister Julie: Yes, individually there are may people who have actually made the world a better place, even if it is only one life at a time. You know who you are, and God does too – the caretakers who change adult diapers for a living, the doctors who give up lucrative careers to work in third world countries destroyed by earthquakes. God, by whatever name sees all your deeds, and counts them great, even when you don’t.

But there are some people - that have distinguished themselves in the annuls of modern events. Who have, by their deeds, lifted themselves above the crowd, head and shoulders.

And today we have a tie –

Sister Frances: I opened the paper this morning at breakfast. There staring up at me from the Daily Herald for September 12, 2006 was the following:

“There are three kinds of people in this world: those who wouldn’t shoot you in the back for a million dollars, those who would, and those who would find someone to do it for them and split the money.”

What is sad, is not that this is true, for surely it is, but that it was listed under “Today’s Chuckle” While it may be true that there are people in the world today that would sell the grandmother for a nickel, the fact is hardly a “chuckle.”

President Bill Clinton left office in 2001 with a federal budget surplus of $127 billion. President George Bush ran a deficit of $319 billion in 2005.
Sister Julie: William Gale, who worked on the Council of Economic Advisers under President George H.W. Bush. has said, “Since taking office, Bush pushed through tax cuts totaling $1.85 trillion and raised government spending 23 percent in his first four years in office to $2.29 trillion.”

Sister Frances: We received this in the mail this week and I would like to read it to you:

A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so
advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put
it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor says, "That is nothing, we can take a lung
out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking
for work in four weeks."

British doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so
advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one
person, put it in another, and have them
both looking for work in two weeks."

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, interjected
"You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains
out of Texas, put him in the White House and now
half the country is looking for work."

Sister Julie and Sister Frances: So to George Bush for all that you do this tip o’ the veil is for you.

Heretic of the week

2006-09-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

Heretic of the week:

Sister Julie: First let me read a quote to you by the Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, winner of the Nobel Peace prize, founder of a religious order that cared for India’s poorest citizens:

"There is only one God, and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30 families are Catholic and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs - all different religions. But they all come to our prayers."

Here is an e-mail I recently received by Dennis Momin who comments on the life and works of Mother Teresa. His letter starts, “Heretics you all are!!” and continues from there…

“If "Mother" Theresa has truly uttered those words that you
dorn on your front page sister (and which, I believe, greatly
reflects your ideals and organization) then the crucifix she
pinned on her shoulder was her greatest shame. All her life
long deeds of kindness and love was for the sake of humanty
than God and was not worth a child's day who died for
Christ.” – Dennis Momin

Yes, Dennis, in answer to your letter I am proud to say that our order is dedicated to the same hertical principles espoused by this most famous of heretics, a nun who devoted her life to God and who has been beatified by the Catholic Church. And so Dennis we have named this part of our podcast for your words and call it:

Sister Frances: [with emphasis] HERETIC OF THE WEEK!

Sister Julie: Each week we will be dedicating part of this podcast to people who dedicated their lives to the heretic principles of peace, harmony, unity and understanding. People who in some way, whether small or large, made the world a better place to live in. Keep in mind that God, by what ever name you may call Him, does not always call for deeds that stand out in the world’s eyes to be great…sometimes the smallest deeds of kindness can be great in God’s eyes.

Here with our first Heretic of the Week is Mother Frances:

Sister Frances: This weeks heretic was a rebel amongst rebel. You have seen Him over and over again in the news at every turn, with his long hair, scraggly beard and sandals – a real throwback to the hippies of the sixties.

He is a Jew and not only that He is a Rabbi.

Sister Julie: [shocked gasp of amazement] NO!

Sister Frances: Yes! Time magazine for June 21, 1971 describes Him as a:

- Notorious leader of an underground liberation movement
- Practicing medicine, winemaking and food distribution without a license.
- Interfering with businessmen in the temple.
- Associating with known criminals, radicals, subversives, prostitutes and street people.

In one of His famous public quotes He has said, “Do not think I have come to bring peace to the world, No, I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

He was sentenced to death by the civil authorities but remains at large. Yes my friends, He is the only man that women don’t mind sharing – you know Him, we love Him, Sister Julie and I want to be like Him – this week’s Heretic of the Week is none other than Jesus Christ Himself.

Sister Julie: In a future segment of Heretic of the Week we will feature one of His close followers – a man who dared to be both Christian and Jew, author of much of the New Testament – none other than the Apostle Paul Himself.

Sister Frances: Our pod-cast is about spirituality, yet with a tongue-in-cheek sort of humor. The basic idea is to call ourselves and all these various past "saints" and holy people "heretics", because most of them, if not all of them were thought of as heretics by one group or another during their lives. We are laughing AT the people who even make the call of "heretics" about other people. We are laughing at those who think themselves in some way better than the general population, better either because of social status, religious rank, or ego.

Sister Julie: My dear departed grandmother put it best when she said, “If you didn’t laugh, You’d cry.”

The Heretic Hour

2006-09-08T17:25:00.000-05:00

Good morning, afternoon or evening friends (depending on when you are reading this). For those of you who aren't friends and seem to hate us, well God bless you anyway. While I finish the next part of "The Relentless Pessimist" I thought I would update you on one of our most recent projects. We have decided to enter the world of Podcasting. For those of you who may not know what a podcast is, it is simply a small audio (and sometimes video) show that is downloaded to computers and IPODs. Sort of like an internet radio show.

While I get many letters thanking us for our mission, I also get a few zingers. Some of the letters would wilt a steel rose. What put the idea for the title into my head was one of the zingers I received recently. So - as it is oft' said - without further ado, is a short script (a draft) of the opening of the first podcast, still in the works.

The Heretic Hour with Sister Julie and Sister Frances

(Show starts with an audio clip of the following)

Announcer: In the early years of the 16th century, to combat the rising tide of religious unorthodoxy, the Pope gave Cardinal Ximinez of Spain leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land, in a reign of violence, terror and torture that makes a smashing film. This was the Spanish Inquisition...

Chapman: Trouble at mill.

Cleveland: Oh no - what kind of trouble?

Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.

Cleveland: Pardon?

Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.

Cleveland: I don't understand what you're saying.

Chapman: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle.

Cleveland: Well what on earth does that mean?

Chapman: *I* don't know - Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

[JARRING CHORD]

[The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain [Palin] enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang [Gilliam] is just Cardinal Fang]

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...(Audio clip fades out)

Mother Frances: "It is important that everyone is seen as equal before God.” Harsh words? Radical? Heretical?

You would think not. Nations have been founded on that principle – including this one. Yet that is the very belief in harmony and equality for which we have been called heretics. The quote is from a particularly radical and heretical person – Mother Teresa of Calcutta - a nun who won the Nobel peace prize for her work helping some of the poorest people in the world.

(Bridge: From “smooth” by Carlos Santana)

And if you said
This life ain't good enough
I would give My world to lift you up
I could change my life
To better suit your mood…

Sister Julie: People expect us to change to suit their moods. When people hear the word nun they usually see a see a mental image of one or two things. Either a woman in a penguin suit wielding a ruler as if it were a machete – some belligerent biddy whose face would crack if it ever smiled or…

Mother Frances: …a woman who is serenity incarnate, who usually wears a halo for a hat.

Sister Julie: I am sister Julie

Mother Frances: and I am Mother Frances.

Sister Julie: - and reality, is often much different. Instead of a halo I wear an IPOD. My world extends beyond the walls of the convent, even when that world is a virtual one – the global community, that makes its second home on the internet.

The Relentless Pessimist

2006-08-31T16:46:00.000-05:00

(The following is an excerpt from my book “Congratulations your baby is a boy and a girl”)

The relentless pessimist…and the way out

Those of you who know me, or have read the rest of my book, know that over the years I have tended toward being a bit pessimistic. In fact, tended is not the word – Mother Frances once called me a “relentless pessimist” There is an old adage that says one of the definitions of insanity is to repeat the same action and expect a different outcome. Scenes such as the following have played themselves out throughout my entire life.

Spouse: (with a reassuring hand on my arm) “I will always be there for you.”

Me: (with a worried look) “Always?”

Spouse: (smiling) “Yes – always.”

Result? The very next day, the next afternoon in fact – less than 24 hours later – I came home to find a “Dear Jane” note. The person who left me for another woman not only waited until I was gone, but on the way out stole my dog. Thus enacting the now famous adage (which I did not originate):

“My spouse left me and stole my dog – I miss the dog.”

To make matters worse, at least for the dog, is that the same person who stole my dog didn’t even take with their own. Poor Ralph. Ralph had his buddy Winston, my dog, stolen from him as well and was at the same time abandoned by the same person who had abandoned me. So there we were. Quite a pair. Ralph and I (pictured above) both abandoned by the same person.

With the chapters of my life filled out with pages such as these is it any wonder that I eventually became a “The glass is not only half full, but the other half is full of toxic waste” sort of person (I did coin that expression – in fact I have lived it).

All your dreams come true…

Those of you who have seen the original “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” with Gene Wilder in the title roll will remember the following scene. At the end of the movie, Gene Wilder’s character looks at Charlie, to whom he has just given his chocolate factory. He looks very concerned as he admonishes Charlie with the following words:

“Charlie do you know what happened to the little boy who suddenly got everything he ever wanted?”

To this Charlie gives a very worried reply, “No what?”

“He lived happily ever after,” says the Gene Wilder character with a big smile.

At that point Charlie goes on to live happily ever after. Me? There was a time I would probably have looked the person who had just given me a chocolate factory straight in the eye and yelled, “YOUR LIEING”

Even after I began to live “happily ever after” I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. After all, why not? In my case the other shoe had always dropped.

If You’re happy and you know it…

There is a song I remember from my childhood that has a line in it that has always stuck out in my mind…

“If you are happy and you know it clap your hands!”

In my case that would have been the sound of one hand clapping. Why? I will tell you why. After all the pain, after all the misery in my life, there reached a time when God reached down his mighty hand and touched my life. He made my life happy.

So what was the problem?

The problem was that I was happy and I didn’t know it.

How can you be happy and not know it? You can reach the point in your life where pessimism becomes self-fulfilling. Yes, when I walk down the street I typically get what I have come to call “the look” What is “the look?” It is when someone not just glances at me, as all people glance at each other when they are on a train or walking down a street. It is when they stare at me and their head looks up and down my body as if to say “does that nun really have a dead baby hanging out of her mouth” Priceless. I have seen that look over and over again.

But how does that make you a relentless pessimist?

I am glad you asked. It is not “the look” itself that makes one a pessimist. It is the frequency. It happens so often that I come to expect it, whether or not it is really there. I forget the person who follows right after the person with “the look” and smiles at me. I forget the person in my office who smiles and says “good morning sister” and remember the person who refuses to get on an elevator with me. Or at least I used to. Does this mean “the look” happens less often than I think it does?

Nope.

What puts the “P” in pessimist?

Here is an example. The sad truth about Christianity today is that in many cases Christians make the worst Christians.

Okay, how many people just thought “Huh?”

Look at it this way – Winston Churchill once said, “Democracy is the worst form of government except for all those others that have been tried.” What he meant is that democracy may not be the best form of government but it is the best of the worst. Christians can often be the same way, the best of a bad bunch of people. The world is full of people who would sell their grandmother for a nickel. One only has to pick up the average newspaper to realize that. Better a Christian who doesn’t live their faith than someone who has no faith in anything but greed and ignorance. In other words…

Christianity is great if it wasn’t for the average Christian.

“Wait a minute,” you say, “Did I just hear a nun say that?”

Yes you did. You heard God’s little dipstick say that and I am not alone. If you go to church ask yourself “why?” Do you go because you want to? Of do you go because you feel you have to? Do you go because your parents taught you it is the thing to do? Or do you go because you are afraid of what will happen if you don’t?

The churches I have been to are full of people who give me “the look” and worse. There was a time recently when I went up for communion and for a moment the woman who was passing out communion was not going to give me the host because of the way I look. Based on nothing other than her disapproval of my physical appearance. Those of you who have read the rest of my book also know about the church I attended where I was told that they didn’t want “people like me” passing out communion. No. Not pretty, educated well mannered people. They meant people who had once been both genders and looked it.

The big butt (no not mine)…

But that same church also had a woman who attended it (and still does) who is a dear friend. Emma is an 93 year old Irish woman who is the living embodiment of “Mrs. Doubtfire” from the movie of the same name. Emma recently told Mother Superior that every time she goes into the church and sees the woman on the church staff who told me that I was not wanted as a minister of care to pass out communion to the sick, that she thinks of what was done to me. Emma is a woman who is a living saint if ever there was one. Ask anyone who knows her.

But Emma and the people who give me “the look”, the people who refuse to shake my hand, who refuse to talk with me – all those people go to the same church as Emma. It is easy, far too easy, to reach the point in your life where you forget about the people like Emma and remember all the people who are the “bad apples in the barrel” so to speak.

So what is the way out of being a relentless pessimist? The solution can be different for different people. For me, the solution was to find out that I was happy – and know it. How did that happen? How did I find out I was happy? Well my friends, in my case that required a brick up along side the head.

And that is the subject of the next blog…

© 2006 Juliemarie Whitefeather. All rights reserved.

Good Grief!

2006-07-31T17:58:00.000-05:00

Good Grief

Everyone who has ever read peanuts has met “good old Charlie brown” and everyone who has ever met the overwrought Charlie Brown has heard him utter the now immortal phrase – “good grief”

Yet stop and think about this phrase for a moment.

Good Grief

Can our grief be good? I don’t ever remember seeing Charlie Brown say this phrase with a happy smile on his face.

Followers of the old television show “Night Gallery” often hear Rod Serling present each show using the phrase – “We offer for your consideration.”

And so…

I offer for your consideration the life of a woman that to many would seem a nightmare in every waking moment – the life of Blessed Saint Margaret of Costello.

“Yes sister,” I hear you ask, “but what has the life of a short Italian woman who has been dead for over 900 years got to do with anything?”

That, my dear friends, is easy to answer. This was a woman born into a wealthy noble Italian family. Normally she might have lived in the lap of luxury as it is said. But God blessed her – she did not.

“How is it then,” you ask, “that she was ‘blessed’ by missing out on the easy life?”

Margaret was born a midget, lame, a hunchback, and blind. All this features where matched by her lack of good looks. She spent the first thirteen years of her life imprisoned by her own parents so they could hide her away from the world so they would not have to be ashamed of their daughter. The last of those thirteen years she was forced to live in a prison in a catacomb. When finally God refused to take away all this from their daughter so her parents would no longer have to feel shame, they abandoned her, blind, and alone, on the church steps of Costello, Italy (and hence Margaret of Costello).

She may not have been a ‘looker’ as they say, but, oh my friends, she had a beautiful soul. She had a wondrous, glorious soul. Even if you discount the time she is said to have levitated 20 inches off the floor of a Costello prison Cell while praying for a prisoner; even if you discount the time, after hear death, after an autopsy where three pearls where found in her heart when it was cut open. Even if you discount that…

After her death, at her funeral, in front of a church full of people, including witnesses from the Vatican, she moved her arm and healed a young girl.

Over 900 years later her body has not decayed. Long after all those who abused her have turned to dust, her body just looks like it has a really, really good tan. She is an incorrupt. Other saints that where so holy that God has kept their bodies from decaying in death include Saint Bernadette Soubiros who looks better more than 100 years after her death, then I do now when I am alive.

Yes, my friends, Margaret had a life that was the living embodiment of the phrase, “life is a bitch and then you die.” Yet was she filled with anguish and hate for the way she was born and the way she was treated? Not a bit of it. When she originally came to Costello, Italy, forced into the life of a blind beggar, she was despised by everyone she met. Yet she walked down the street with a smile on her face.

By the time she died?

By the time she died she was universally loved by everyone in Costello, Italy. Do you know the phrase used in high school when it comes to “girls” like me? They say, ‘but she has a great personality’. Well, my friends, when it comes to having a great personality, Margaret was the proverbial ‘IT’ She is the one for whom the expression was originated.

She spent the later years of her life as a nun. One day one of her sisters came to her in despair. It seems the sister had just found out that she was going blind. Now, mind you, as we have said, Margaret was born blind. So at this point it was very much a case of preaching to the choir.

At first Margaret admonished the sister to accept Gods gift. Margaret was no stranger to suffering. She was, in fact, well acquainted with the concept of redemptive suffering. That is, suffering for the sake of others – as did our dear Lord, Jesus. This is suffering for Christ. In other words – ‘good grief’.

The sister was incredulous that Margaret could view blindness as a gift from God. In the end, Margaret healed the sister of her blindness.

To most people, myself included, Margaret of Costello was one of those rare individuals who set the pole so incredibly high that few people would be able to jump the spiritual hurdle.

There are some of us, such as myself, that God has blessed with being the target of more than the usual amount of bigotry and hatred. The world is full of people who are full of themselves; people who have a set view of the world and how it – and everyone in it – must be. When someone, such as myself, born a hermaphrodite, doesn’t fit into that view of the world, they insist on telling others so. Most often they do so loudly and long. It may be a matter of a total stranger telling me “you need to have a dick shoved up your ass.” It may be a co-worker who screams “I am not going to use the bathroom with that THING”. It may be something as subtle as a co-worker who refuses to ride an elevator that has me on it. I have had a lifetime of such treatment.

Yet, you may ask yourselves at this point how one endures such grief and even consider it “good”? I will tell you, it isn’t easy; especially when it is going on – and continues to go on, on a daily basis. There is a darn good reason why many people born such as I was kill themselves.

So how does one endure such grief? How does it become good grief?

As granddad used to say, “It is hard to remember that your original intent was to drain the swamp when you are up to your ass in alligators” – or in this case, bigots.

It is also something else. It is the subject of my next blog.

© 2006 Sisters of Embracement. All rights reserved.

God's Little Dipstick

2006-07-21T18:36:00.000-05:00

“Blazing Saddles,” I said.

“Oh what was the name of the movie with Clevon Little in it? The one where he played a sheriff?”

The second voice came from Bernie, a co-worker who, to this day, will not speak to me nor even ride an elevator with me. I once held a door for Bernie, as he was about to walk through it. Rather than walking through the open doorway, he stopped and stood facing the wall next to the door – nose to the wallpaper.

This time I answered Bernie’s question even louder.

“Blazing Saddles! The name of the movie is Blazing Saddles!”

At this point I could have been heard in the next county let alone the next cubicle , or by Bernie who is not hard of hearing. Still Bernie’s questioning continued unabated, blatantly ignoring my response.

“It had Mel Brooks in it,” Bernie asked the woman who sits in the cubicle behind mine, “What was the name of that movie?”

At this point I came to the conclusion that one of two things have happened. First possibility – The laws of physics have suddenly and inexplicably become suspended and sound will no longer carry more than three inches from my lips.

Second possibility – and this one far more likely – Bernie, like so many other of my co-workers has come to consider me with such disdain that they are aghast that I have had the effrontery to exist. In other words…

Nun non-grata

Scenes such as the one able have repeated themselves throughout my entire life. They play themselves over and over again as people pass through my life. I have had a lifetime of watching people laughing amongst themselves only to see the smile rapidly run away from their face when they see me. Yet this are amongst the “kinder, gentler” moments I endure. There have been times, such as when a female co-worker, headed for the ladies room herself, saw me walk in to it first. She took the opportunity to yell after me, “I am not going in their with that THING!” Interestingly enough, to this day she considers herself a “good Christian woman.” Even passers by in the street have taken time from their busy day to heap abuse upon me as I pass. One fine sunny day, not long ago I was walking down the street near my office. I passed a man, as is often the case in larger cities, seeking alms for the poor, among whose ranks he placed himself. I doubted the man’s sincerity in this case, not because of the look on his face, but rather by the look of the suite he wore, which would easily have cost upwards of $300.00. I did not turn a deaf ear on him, as so many others did around him. Instead I spoke with him as I passed and he started walking next to me down the street. When he realized he wasn’t going to get money from me, where he at first addressed me politely as sister, he now shouted at me “You’re really a man aren’t you! You need to have a dick shoved up your ass!”

Welcome to one of my average days.

What have I done, you may ask yourself, to warrant such treatment? Have I committed some heinous crime? Do I kick babies as a hobby? Do I advocate the overturn of the United States by force of arms? No…

I have had the simple fortune of having been born both genders. In more proper terms, a hermaphrodite. Unlike some of the others like me in the country (and there are more than the average person realizes) I had the chance to decide for myself “which gender” later in life.

Wait a minute. Think back. Re-read the last paragraph. Did I say “misfortune” or “fortune”? That’s right. I said I had the FORTUNE to be born a hermaphrodite. Why? Think of the quote by Marshall Mcluhan in the footer - "A point of view can be a dangerous luxury when substituted for insight and understanding.” Being born as I was has given me the opportunity to gain insights and understanding that most people will never have, nor even understand. Still you may ask yourself, how does this make me fortunate? Why would anyone want to suffer so on a daily basis?

Well, “Want” has nothing to do with it.

Why would I welcome such abuse? I don’t always. But as grandmother used to say, “It’s like hitting yourself in the head with a rock. You can get used to anything if you do it long enough.” Still of what benefit can such abuse be? For the answer to that. You will have to read my next blog.

Sister Julie.

© 2006 Sisters of Embracement. All Rights Reserved.